Lynnsophie

To all my new friends again thank you for the great feedback. I do understand at this point being sober for the rest of my life means that I am doing it for myself. I have never wanted or worked hard for something. I feel so much better emotionally and physically. There is a lot of history to what happened with the ending of my relationship. We were very happy our first two years together. I was not binge drinking like I was this past year. In October of last year Joe lost a very good job in our smaller town. He was making good money without his college degree in a company that required it. He has great talent at what he does and they saw that in him. He was let go because of conflict with his staff and how he handled situations. There was even a lawsuit. This dragged on for several months before he was finally fired. I work in HR sad a Director and I was trying so hard to give him advice daily on what to say not to etc. He does have a temper issue, Italian and he was raised to be stubborn. Long story short he was devastated losing this job then Covid hit. He fell into a depression and was home 24/7. My job in healthcare was insanely stressful and my sister was also going through a painful surprise divorce. She was always over crying and we spent months and months with her. I felt myself unraveling trying to deal with everything. I started sneaking little bottles of booze we all l ow the drill. It got really bad. Joe and I decided together I needed to go into rehab. I came home in August and had a few set backs. Since then sober. We stared fighting a lot more because he was still so angry of the last and was also having a very difficult time finding a job. He wanted to run away to Costa Rica and have me go. I can’t leave my elderly parents or my job. Our long term goal was to eventually retire in Florida. He started searching for jobs there and did get one. We were going to see how it went then have me move in about six months. I was devasted he left. Fast forward we would argue on the phone and he really started pulling away. He ended up getting on dating web sites. In the meantime was telling me he still loves me but I needed to work on myself. I became more hurt about him dating even after I went down to visit. The fighting escalated to k is he’s is sayimg he does not k ow what the future holds, he needs another six months blah blah. We used to talk all the time now it’s non existent. I am in so much private therapy, AA reading etch d really working on myself. The rejection and fear of abandonment I am learning stems back to my childhood. On the outside perfect Catholic family never missed a week of Mass. The inside was a mess father once a twice a week coming home 2 am while my mom was working full time raising 4 kids. I adored my Dad and still do he is in recovery for many years now. My mother I love dearly but resent how she took it out on us kids. I have so many layers to work through. Thanks you for the utube videos i suggestions I loved that one so much and now the new book. I hope everyone is staying healthy and sober. Always here to support! 🙏🏻💕

Erica375

So nice to read your latest post. Keep working on yourself!

Philo34

Inspired

DarkStranger

Hope you're OK, Lynnsophie. It's great that you're working on yourself and I hope it leads to you feeling fulfilled. I'm sending positive vibes your way.