paisley01

Oh my...I just checked my last post here and it was 2013. In the post, I said I was binge drinking on weekends and wanted to stop.
And guess what? I never did stop.
I feel very ashamed and upset that 7 years later I am STILL binge drinking to excess. And more so now, after the hell of 2020.
I am drinking around 3 to 4 nights a week, sometimes over a bottle of wine. Maybe more. I used to only drink on the weekends, but with work not busy thanks to covid, it's more often.
I am so ready to stop. I just can't do it anymore.
What are some of your techniques for stopping? I dont know if cutting back will help, as if i have one, I have to have many, many more. Cannot stop.
Any advice greatly appreciated.

Dropsie

We have all been there.

For me, the only choice was to stop. It was only when I realised that the only control I had over my drinking was to stop entirely that my mind shifted and I could do the thing.

2020 has been rough for everyone, but it can also be a catalsyt for change.

My technique was to decide 100% in my soul that I had stopped drinking and to take that entirely off the table and then to do everything required to support that decision. For me, that was mainly spending time here and reading a lot. Others go to AA, Smart, treatment, therapists, whatever takes.

But it is an inside job, at least it was for me. I had to decide and the rest was to support my decision.

You can do this, but you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.

XX

advbike

Hi, welcome back. Most of us take several tries. Me even more. You have to really want to quit, the commitment makes it much easier. Moderation doesn't usually work too well - most of us do want more once we have one. Many people are able to quit on their own, some need a program. I found reading and posting on here 2-3 times a day keeps the commitment strong. Lots of support here. Since you don't drink every night it will be easier for you to stop.

I have been at it a while, most recently quit for over 3 years in 2013. but slipped up under stress and got back into it. However I have had several dry periods of several months at a time since then, my problem is simply staying quit long term. It's totally a mental game after the first week or two, but when I was sober for over a year I never even thought about it. I just reacted badly to some relationship stress and thought I could enjoy a couple on a trip to Thailand. Turned back into regular drinking pretty quick.

You can totally do it if you want to.

Dee74

Hi and welcome back Paisley

SR helped me stopped. I posted a lot and really got involved in the community here. I used this place for support when I realised my life would have to change if I stopped drinking.

The good news is I did it and lifes never been better. I hope you'll give it a try too

D

AAPJ

Welcome back!

aasharon90

Alcoholism is a progressive disease and a lesson I
had to learn from day one when I entered rehab and
recovery some 30 yrs ago.

Over the years I have heard from countless folks who
came into the rooms of recovery, went back out to test
the waters to see if it was safe to do some control drinking,
to only return and let us know that not only did they
go back to drinking, but that it had progressed.

They picked up exactly where they left off drinking
and had now become worse for them. Uncontrollable
crazy drinking.

That is where the insanity of this disease comes into
play.

For every single person who went back out only
confirmed to me that it doesnt work nor will it ever
work.

And if anyone who went back out, it never got
better, but only worse and it dosent matter where
one is in their own quest for sobriety. All it takes
is one drink and they are off and running out of
control.

At my stage in recovery with 30 yrs sobriety, if
and I mean if, i ever make a decision to drink
under any kind of circumstances, i will definitely
get drunk or either go crazy or end up dead.

Because, one drink will never be enough to satisfy
my cravings for it and I will pick up exactly where I
left off yrs ago.

My disease, this monster of alcoholism was put to
sleep, to rest the moment i stopped drinking. However,
this monster continues to grow inside me waiting
patiently for that perfect moment to rear it's ugly
head and wake up ready to destroy everything and
everyone in it's path.

So, with a program of recovery i use as a guideline
to living a continuous sober life each day, this monster
stays asleep.

Mizz

I was also a bottle of wine binge drinker. Then I was a bottle of wine and more binge drinker.

I stopped drinking cold turkey. I didn't cut back. My alcoholism wants all the alcohol and it cannot "cut back." All or nothing.

Mizz recovery program:
I started a thread in the Alcoholism section where I have been accountable.
I started attending AA
I got a sponsor
I started posting in the 24 hr section
I log on here and participate in the Newcomers section

The first few weeks are a mess of emotions. The "mess" levels off and then it is about daily work towards recovering and keeping vigilant.

You can do this!

paisley01

Thank you everyone, I appreciate it.
It's not the best time to be quitting, xmas and new years, and the majority of my family are borderline, if not fully, alcoholics. But it's time.
I usually drink because I'm bored and I'm addicted to the serotonin it releases.
Tonight I kept busy and reminded myself how energised and not hung over I would be tomorrow, and I got through it.
Here's hoping that lasts.

Anna

Welcome back, Paisley, and I'm glad you got through last night without drinking.

You're right about trying to taper off. It's almost impossible for alcoholics to do that, and it's really much easier to just stop.

\

anxiousrock

Hi paisley. I am also a binge drinker but I literally do it alllllll at once. Sometimes....2 bottles of wine, bottle of vodka, beers, all within 24 hours. Usually 1 bottle vodka all at once, every month.
I feel my body needs that long to recover.

Khorhey

Yeah it’s really not possible to dabble in it once you’re drinking 6 or more drinks a day every day. A couple drinks won’t do anything for you so end up with many more.

If I find myself wanting a beer. I have a soda or go exercise or whatever until the urge passes. Make yourself tired by keeping busy and you will look forward to getting that real sleep you don’t get when boozing.

least

I finally got sober when I reached the point where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. It was hard at first but it got easier with each sober day.

proudtobehere

I know how amazing that first night of not drinking feels. I can literally feel my body healing. I want so bad to make that every night but still fail many times. I get so disgusted with myself and feel like I'm getting closer to finally going cold turkey. Honestly though it's much tougher than it was the last time. It's like I've sunk deeper in the quicksand and am danger of it going over my head? I frequently use the excuse of being bored but to be honest my worst night bored is better than my best night drunk.

msl999

Hi paisley, have you tried AVRT? It helped me FINALLY get off that frustrating roller coaster of binging every weekend (and a few weekdays). I’ve been happy & alcohol-free for over 3 years, with no fear of ever drinking again. I did it by reading the 6-part AVRT threads on this site & reading the book, that’s it. It saved my life and I only regret not trying it sooner.

The only thing is that AVRT is only effective if you want to quit for good. If you decide that you want to be done with this forever, then AVRT just may be what you are looking for. PM me if you have any questions.

paisley01

I made it 3 nights. And likely tomorrow too as I'm working the day after and don't drink the day before work generally.
AVRT looks interesting and I'm going to look into it, so thanks.
It's kind of hard to tell if I'm feeling better, as I'm also weaning off anti psychs...and yep, I know I shouldn't drink whilst taking them but...I have no excuse really. Just liked the black out sleep I get when I am drunk and take them. I'm almost off of them now, thankfully.
Just wanted to say thanks again and that it has been very helpful reading your replies and advice.

advbike

Great job paisley! The first few days are the hardest.

Dee74

Congrats on your progress

D

fini

paisley, hello.
nah, it’s not the best time to be quitting, you’re right there.
except: it’s always totally the best time to quit!!
good to see you getting through the first few days and exploring options for how to keep that going.

Lpg

Hey paisley good job on 3 nights. Your post resonated with me alot as I would prob say my drinking was very similar to yourself.
My binges where always long and my body & mental health would always be in tatters from it. But I always would justify drinking again because hey I didn't do it every night so in my mind it meant I didn't have a problem.

Your right though, I tried cutting back, try this.... Try that. Don't mix, eat beforehand. Nothing worked and I tried alot lol... for me I had to completely abstain from alcohol.
You got this sending you all the best in your sober journey.

Zencat

Welcome back Paisley

AVRT is a program I have learned about. The beast (AV) can be shot down by a better mental health technique called 'stop thought'
Keep putting a recovery toolbox together. Remember The 3Ps; 'Practice, Patience and Perseverance' and you will do well