MelindaFlowers

I was just thinking back to when I was actively drinking and I was late to everything. I was often late to work, late to appointments, late to the airport, late to things I couldn't be late for, late to family gatherings, late to things I promised I wouldn't be late for.

Now that I'm sober I'm not perfect but I'm 90 percent better. Can anyone relate?

Libby06

I can definitely relate to that, or even worse...not showing up at all. I would promise all kinds of things and then not show up. Usually it was because the hangovers were so so bad, or because it didn't interest me to be sober for a function.

My very first sit down with my sponsor, I told her that if I didn't show up, or call when I said I would, that she should be very concerned. Not that I was drunk, as much as a medical emergency. My new creed started that day...my word is my bond, and if I tell you I am going to do something, count on it.

I still stick with that, not only with her, but with everyone. It great not being late for everything anymore! Now, I'm sometimes annoyingly too early

Kaneda8888

Hahaha....late means you were conscious of commitments and time. During my active days, schedules were a vague concept which I occasionally adhered to. Most of my energy was spent devising excuses/stories for non-attendance. However, I never missed getting to the airport ahead of time as it meant I could drink at the lounge in private. Mind you, I have missed (or kicked off) a few flights!

FlyAgain

I was always on time if it suited my own self interest - which normally meant it was something fun or I had something to gain.

If it was in someone else’s interest that I turned up on time, like doing a job they’d paid me for, or their wedding, then my attendance and punctuality was dependent on how drunk / hungover I was or how much I thought I get away with turning up or not.

Now I’m sober I’m never late, forget, or make lame excuses to miss anything.

Zevin

I’m sober and still late to most things. It’s a terrible habit and one I’m seriously trying to break.

Tynesider22

It was amazing how many times "my bus didn't turn up".

Or "I wasn't feeling too well"

Jack465

Yes, or I just didn't go at all.

When I started drinking heavily, I stopped attending almost anything that I thought I could get away with not attending. I was fairly good at judging this but it meant that I missed out on a lot of things.

The only things that I did want to attend were events that involved drinking.

LateBloominCait

No, this is one problem I have never had. I am quite the opposite, actually. I have always had anxiety so I show up ridiculously early to everything. Like an hour early sometimes. (Which usually means I have to wait in my car because I don't want to look like the weirdo who showed up early to the party). It was hammered into me as a child that being late is extremely disrespectful of other people and their time and that I would shame my whole family if I did it. I have never had the self esteem to think my time is as valuable as other people's anyway. Even to this day, the thought of being late fills me with dread and remorse. I have had sweat inducing nightmares about being late. It's not a good thing and it's something I am working too. It meant I sometimes drove drunk in order to make things happen. I even took a CPR certification class when I was half in the bag because I was too nervous to postpone it and make people mad. I had a rough childhood with abandonment and abuse, so I think it's my natural instinct to make myself as "small" or easy to deal with as possible so people won't get mad at me. Intellectually I know that most people don't really care, but childhood trauma is hard to ignore sometimes.

advbike

Mine was/is the opposite, Cait. I'm usually 5-10 min late, always have been. Grew up with a parent that was also always late, lol we were even late to church every Sunday. I am getting better and call if more than 5 min behind. I have tried to get going earlier but there is some sort of deep-seated procrastination, one of my personal issues I am working on.

Grungehead

Man I used to live in hot water with my employer throughout my twenties...and it was the same employer...somehow I managed to avoid getting fired despite getting oral and written warnings regularly. I worked at a hospital pharmacy from age 23 to age 31, and I got sober (for the first time) at age 29, and part of the reason was that I was running out of warnings and was very close to being fired.

I worked rotating 1st and 2nd shift and I had to be there at 7:00AM for first shift. They gave you a 5 minute "buffer" and if you punched in at 7:06 you got a tardy on your record. I struggled mightily when I was on 1st shift, and between the tardies and absences it seemed like I was always "1 strike away". I handled 2nd shift much better, and when a position opened up for straight 2nd shift I applied for it and got it. I think my managers even realized that if they gave my that position I was much more likely to show up for work...and on time.

As for being late to things away from work, it really depended on when I was supposed to be there. If it was early in the morning odds were against me being there on time if I showed up at all. Looking back it's kind of sad how much I planned my life around my drinking by trying to avoid making any commitments that required showing up early in the morning.

anxiousrock

On my worst days I was more of a not show up at all person

120degrees0ut

YES, always running late or already late, because I was constantly hungover. And then my last years of drinking, I'd have to drink 2 -3 beers to do anything, at all. I was constantly drinking or there was still alcohol present in my system. I actually started getting worse with that, before I completely quit alcohol.