Surlyredhead

This a re-post from almost 10 year ago but it still applies:


........I read and hear a lot of newcomers to recovery ask "Why can't I be normal?" or "When will I be Normal?"

.....It is a very valid question, unfortunately, there is no real answer. However, I have found that for me, being in recovery has made my life......livable, for lack of a better word. (cliche' warning) In the very beginning of my sobriety, I was given a toolbox (not literally, but you know what I mean), while in treatment, at meetings, on the internet and sometimes even from a "normal" person, I have been given various "tools" on how to handle situations in life without picking up, each time I did, I added it to my toolbox. I can't imagine going through life now, without my toolbox.....something "normal" people don't even know about, much less have! There have been situations in my sobriety, that I have had to sit down, and sort through my toolbox, looking for just the right tool to help me get over that hurdle without picking up. I am positive that my toolbox has kept me sober more times than I can count.

.....I guess that what I am trying to say, is that we in recovery have been given a great gift....a second chance at life....only it is a better life! We tend to grateful for what most "normal" people take for granted. We see beauty in everyday things, and that makes everyday special. We know that we are not guaranteed tomorrow, so we are less likely to waste today. Being able to reach out a help someone reclaim their life is a feeling most "normal" people will never know. We are miracles, and every time we help another person into recovery, or stay in recovery, we are creating more miracles...how many people can say that? I could go on and on, but for me, being "normal" seems to be way overrated. Life in recovery isn't always easy, but it is ALWAYS worth it. I am so glad to be Cathy, recovering Alcoholic, grateful to be alive to see one more day, owner of the worlds best tool box...and be part of the best community around...and so NOT normal....it isn't even funny.

.....Next time you see a "normal" person with a scowl on their face...give them a break, they don't have the tools we have....and next time you wonder why you just can't be "normal"....be grateful, you are blessed.

Cathy

(Side note, I had a shirt made that said "How do you know that I am not the normal one?)

AAPJ

Thanks for the great post. At this point in time I am no longer interested in being "normal".

least

I've never felt 'normal', most especially in my teenage years. I aspired to be like everyone else but failed. I finally learned that 'normal' is a different state of being for each of us. I'm just glad I no longer try to 'be like everyone else'.

Dee74

nez

I wouldn't have any idea!!! I have never been normal. Will never be normal. Don't want to be normal. I am happy just being me. Recovery has shown me who the true me is and I am good with that. Without recovery, I wouldn't have a clue as to who I am.

I don't recommend my pre-recovery path to anyone; but I highly recommend recovery to everyone, even those who think they are normal. Intense self reflection combined with defining personal spiritual beliefs can be a boon to anyone.

Unfortunately a lot of times it takes hitting bottom before people will be willing undertake the hard work necessary to start the recovery journey. Whether it be recovery from alcohol, drugs, abuse, mental issues, health, or just life. All humans have areas that could use improvement. Recovery is a path to improvement.

I am grateful to be an alcoholic because I never would have discovered the life I have today any other way. It saddens me when I see my "normal" family members struggling with life. I certainly don't have all the answers and I struggle as well, but I seem to handle life on life's terms better. I am so grateful for recovery!

snitch

What a beautiful post, I had a smile on my face reading this ♥️🥰🙏

007

Really liked this post. Could you elaborate on what you have in your toolbox that help you?

007

Really liked this post. Could you elaborate on what you have in your toolbox that help you?

SnazzyDresser

I had a college math professor from Illinois who used to tell a story. In downstate Illinois there's a town called Normal (home of Illinois State U btw) and a neighboring even smaller town called Oblong. He said the local newspaper one day had a headline: Normal Boy Marries Oblong Girl. I think that says it all.

Surlyredhead

Just to name a few:

Acceptance of myself and others
Gratitude
Humility
Forgiveness, to myself and others
Empathy
Self Love
Willingness to listen and learn
Understanding that people have the right to their feelings about me and forgiveness is not always in the cards
Saying I am sorry when I make a mistake
How to take care of myself physically, eating healthy etc.
Meditation
Sleep
When to walk away
How to remove myself from possible drinking situations
How not to feed into someone else's issues
How NOT to judge (There but for the grace of God go I)

These are just a few, but I would love to hear what others have in theirs.

Cathy

Grymt

Very simplified: a couple of things that always helped HALT: am I hungry, angry, lonely, tired or thirsty... Deal with those first, then see. And : This will also pass, : patience, faith.

Lately: an awareness of my natural breath as a bridge to understanding my inner life and then a balanced, non judgemental, non reactive, habit training in relation to that which I find within. (meditation)

007

For me it's...

Niacin.
Vitamins.
Green smoothies.
Cold showers.
Sleeping pills from doctor.
Meditation.
Running.
Sunlight.
Realising that what others see of me is just their perception in that moment and not the actual me.

nez

I started thinking about this and ideas immediately popped into my head, but then I hit the pause button and went a bit deeper to reflect.

My ego is an over-thinker.
My soul is a minimalist.

I have been working as a chef for over 35 years. When I started, I had at least 10 different knives in my toolkit...chef knife, paring knife, stiff boning knife, flexible boning knife, fillet knife, slicer, bread knife, bird's beak, scimitar, etc. etc. etc.
Now days when I go to work my knife kit consists of an 11" chef knife.

When I started in recovery, in my tookit was a recovery program, phone list of members of that recovery program, caring friends & family members, books on alcoholism & buddhism & spirituality & meditation, exercise, diet, vitamins & supplements, etc. etc. etc.
Now days as I go throughout my day my toolkit consists of my past and my present.

FBL

My recovery toolbox...
Daily Gratitude
Helping Others
Surrender
Laughter
Forgiveness
Positive Thinking
Daily Walks Outdoors
Not Taking Myself So Seriously

EndGameNYC

A lot of bad things can happen by trying to be normal. That's been my experience.

I didn't get sober to aim low.

AAPJ

Nez this is really good. Thanks. Question as I ponder this concept. In order to get where you are did you need to go through what you went through?

nez

Yes.

If I didn't do exactly what I did, I wouldn't be exactly who I am.

Then my over-thinker attempts to seize control. I can go to New York City. I can choose to go by car, airplane, or boat. Whichever method I use and whichever route I take, will I be the same person when I get there, no matter which I chose? Yes...but no, because my experiences will be incrementally different.

My over-thinker wants to go even further down the rabbit hole, but I am sending him on a timeout because I don't feel that his insistence on pursuing his agenda, is the most productive use of the present. For me there is a very fine line between deep philosophical thought/reflection...and pandering, so I always need to remain vigilant in supervising my over-thinker.

I am sticking with my initial answer... yes.

nez

Walked away from the computer for a bit, but this thread kept playing around in the background of my mind and it reframed the question of to No.

Other people can start from a different place of origin and use a different route and/or method to get to where I am. I just don't think that I would have wound up here without doing what and when I did what I did. Synchronicity.

least

The best, and first, tool in my recovery toolbox is Gratitude.

SnazzyDresser

I like to think of the weapons I use to stay sober as my arsenal. I'm not puttering around fixing little carpentry things, I'm at war. War I tell you!