Rock bottom's silver lining
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Rock bottom's silver lining
I was trying to understand some victim blamers I've been dealing with so I ran a search for "just world hypothesis" and came across this very helpful video. He pretty much described recovery even though he wasn't talking about addicts. He did mention this is what people who have to recover from addiction are faced with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geSfK9PzEDw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geSfK9PzEDw
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Originally Posted by Dropsie 
SR,
I really enjoyed that video, thanks for sharing. I am been having a hard time in the last weeks with world and personal events that are not "fair" and listening it to was helpful.
Hope you are well.
I really enjoyed that video, thanks for sharing. I am been having a hard time in the last weeks with world and personal events that are not "fair" and listening it to was helpful.
Hope you are well.
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Another common part of the recovery period is self-criticism. Sometimes, this may mean the individual deals with the conundrum by saying he is a bad person and deserves bad things. However, the self-criticism is often a matter of saying the traumatic experience was the result of a poor choice. In that case, the person can think of himself as someone who had a harsh learning experience from which he has acquired what he needs to know to avoid future bad experiences. Knowing he need not have bad experiences in the future, the victim can put on the rose colored spectacles again.
An important point presented in the book is that social support can help the victim heal, but there can be difficulty getting that social support. Non-victims don't want to believe the victim has had terrible experiences for no good reason. Therefore, others may tend to assume the victim is somehow to blame, and therefore undeserving of their support. Even if non-victims don't blame the victim for what happened, they may avoid the victim in order that they not have to deal with the question of how bad things happen to good people.
That could be where some of that negative self-talk came from. I think that's part of the beauty of SR and the recovery site I used for my cult upbringing. People who have experienced the thing are accepting and validate the pain. They also help the person look for solutions. Sometimes knowing some else just "gets it" is all a person needs. We don't blame each other and we don't blame ourselves for things that happened beyond our control.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
