Stayingsassy

I haven’t checked in here in awhile.

There’s only nine people online right now and not many new threads since last time.

Maybe sobriety just isn’t easy right now, or life isn’t; so it’s hard to cheerlead. Can totally relate.

In my life: marriage is hard, work is hard, daughtering in this sandwich generation is hard especially with an ailing mom living alone 88 miles away, Covid is crashing the holidays, and my seasonal affective disorder is sneaking in just for good measure. Halloween is my favorite holiday but no one is trick or treating. My kids are doing the “mom are you okay” bit when I sleep in because I was up all night with insomnia.

I’m a bit of a miserable wretch right now, still avoiding drinking so I don’t go back to being a crazy, chaotic miserable wretch which was worse. God forbid an alcoholic decide to magnify this. No one needs a one woman ****show, especially right now.

Im off to work again tomorrow, just two days a week so I can help 14 with her distance learning most days of the week. Work feels like respite; it occupies my brain so I don’t have to worry about my mom, try not to think about my husband, or wonder how high my blood pressure might be.

Anyway, that’s my cheerful Halloween update, hope you all are still sober, remember that even though you may be having a hard time, alcohol’s best promise to you is to make it exponentially worse! Don’t make things worse on purpose.

Dee74

I hope things get a little less hard going by the weekend and you enjoy your Halloween Sassy

D

SoberLeigh

These times are so surreal, Stayingsassy; I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to navigate child-raising, a career and caring for an ailing parent. I consider myself very fortunate to be retired through this COVID nightmare but I worry about my kids who are trying to balance lives similar to yours.

Really glad to hear that you are not drinking; I agree that drinking guarantees an exponentially worse experience.

These times will become a memory; in the meantime, hope you stay close to SR.

Stayingsassy

Thank you dee and soberleigh. Helps just to type it all out sometimes.

Notch8

I've been acquainted with SR in one way or another for over five years, and I have noticed that traffic is down. But its down on other forums as well. That being said, I've noticed an uptick in Facebook usage since the "rona became a "thing" back in March.

I suppose its all relative.

Mizz

Im working full time through this **** show of a year. It has been quite the experience.
I am watching my friends (who have children) grapple with their new reality of being teacher, mom, spouse, worker etc. It looks exhausting. My heart goes out to all of you parents who have stepped up to the plate and have taken on a new career in education!

I do hope that your insomnia eases and your mood lifts into a better place, SS. Its good that you checked in.
Keep moving forward. You got this!
This too shall pass.

biminiblue

Yeah.

At least we aren't drinking.

Good to hear from you. Hang on buddy.

Stayingsassy

Hi mizz, Notch, Bimini. Keep on batting it away, it lies.

bulldog where are you??

Obladi

"Avoiding drinking?"
We don't drink now; nothing to avoid.

I'm sorry things suck right now, Sass. Do you want advice or did you just need a good kvetch?
I'm down for either. And I'm glad you posted, too.

O

Kaneda8888

Yes, a few folks have posted about the slowdown in traffic. Hopefully, its not a sign of rising addiction or relapses. The downturn has folks (like me) scrambling for work which preoccupies the mind too!

Keep moving forward!

BullDog777

I've been doing ok, all things considered. We've settled into the new house and it's just been about tryin to get my daughter through her class schedule after being gone for so long. Her school wants to go to a 60/40 schedule. So I told her counselor unless Jesus Christ comes down from heaven himself to give me the okie dokie, she's not going anywhere till there's an effective treatment or vaccine. I guess they've been hearing that a lot.

Everything else is just goin pretty normal....well....there's one thing.

A guy who married one of my best friends when I was a kid is in hospice now. At 46 he's got liver failure. He's got fluid in his belly really bad and they have to drain it every other day or so. He looks so gaunt and is a skeleton of his former self.

I don't know why i was so lucky not to get permanent liver damage. Maybe it's cause I'm such a big guy. I heard somewhere when you're on the tall and broad size your organs can run a bit bigger. That and the grace of God. Probably the ladder, first.

I'm good. In 2 days It'll be 4 years and 7 months. I can go weeks at a time now without even thinking about the fact that I was one of the walking dead just a few years ago. (pun intended ha! ) I'm so grateful for my life now.

Stayingsassy

Hi O, Kaneda, and Bulldog!!

O, I guess that’s true. Haven’t had a drink in 3 years so I guess I’m not really “avoiding it.” I just don’t do it.

Kaneda, I hope you find satisfying work really soon. In a way, I find most kinds of work satisfying. Anything to get out of my head.

bulldog....yeah I mean the virus is surging all over the goldang country and it’s not even Halloween yet, we’ve got some strange ways of handling it here. And gosh, the whole world is suffering so much too.. I’m not in any hurry to send 14 back to school. Fortunately 22 and 23 have finished college, 23 has a career and 22 will spend a year on an Americorp gig, I don’t have to worry about them. My husband says it’s ridiculous and we should throw the whole country open and who dies, dies. He wants the bars open and the restaurants open and 14 back in school. He gets angry at me like there’s actually anything I could possibly be culpable for in this act of wrathful nature that has descended upon humanity. My liberal mindset caused it all. I am the source.

Oops, I said too much again!! Geez, I must not have enough people to talk to or something.

good to see you guys. Just get up and breathe and do the right things all day, then go to bed and sleep and get up and breathe again, and do some more right things. Things always shift, even if it seems like an exponential ripple of time to tread across before the changes happen.

Outonthetiles

I hope when things get back to normal people will start coming back here. Anecdotally, I'm hearing about a lot of people who are drinking at home during the pandemic.

Kdon853

Well, next week is 3 yrs, been taking care of my mom also but she is only 12 miles away. In NY my son 16 is back in school 3 days in class 2 days virtual seems to work. My wife works in a safety net hospital, she had 4 months of hell March thru July. Covid admissions rising but they do not seem as bad as the earlier cases. Two daughters upstate NY at college , they tested positive in September but they are fine now both asymptotic.
3 years ago I would have been drunk every day thru all of this with the woe is me attitude. The freedom I have now truly indescribable. So I try not to describe it and just go along for the ride. Stay well

entropy1964

Hi Sassy

Well I guess I'm one of the ones that dropped off for a bit. Wasn't intentional...just sort of 'happened'.

I know people are spending a lot of time on their putes so maybe forums are the last place they want to be after staring at screens all day. I've heard that forum use is down overall, not just this one.

For me their is a diminishing return with the internet. It was shiny and new for a long time. Now I'm just sick of it....all of it. And I don't do social media at all but the whole shabang just irritates me now. Don't watch the news either. Just mind my own beeswax.

Hang in there. Take your Vitamin D if you get the whole seasonal effective thing. Walks in the fresh air help too. Check with the Dr of course about the vit D thing but that can really effect mood.

Dropsie

Sass -- I loved this -- Just get up and breathe and do the right things all day, then go to bed and sleep and get up and breathe again, and do some more right things. Things always shift, even if it seems like an exponential ripple of time to tread across before the changes happen. And we love you. X

007

Yes. I feel the same about the internet. For a time it was great, always seemed to have something interesting to read and forums seemed to be a great source of entertainment, communication and places to learn new things. Now I can't be bothered with it. I turn it on but it seems to be the same old stuff. I try to watch comedy shows but I don't laugh at stuff like I used to, I don't know if my sense of humour has faded or if shows are just not as funny as they used to be...

I think forums being slow could be the result of all this instagram and twitter...nobody writes longer posts anymore, it's just 'liking' an inspirational quote or posting selfies. Forums used to be great.

It makes me long to interact with real people more. I like things like 'meetup' as they are a chance to actually 'do' something. But it is hard sometimes with work, and being tired and shy. Sometimes you want to connect with something at home but the internet doesn't seem to cut it any more.

AAPJ

I hope this is a bit of positive news regarding less activity on this forum. Pre-COVID I was here every morning reading and sometimes posting. Now I am here less because I am attending on line Zoom AA meetings. The Zoom meetings are new and probably temporary. After COVID if the online AA meetings go away as regular meetings re-open I will be here more.

90 in 90? That's nothing this year. I have passed 180 in 180. For me the Zoom meetings are great.

I hope everyone here has a great day tomorrow whatever the outcome.