fini

i had a gazillion decisions to quit, and then drank again.
the fact of being unable to implement/follow through on my own decision to quit...big repeated wrap-around flag of something more than "this little drinking problem i have".
you came here saying you had decided to do sober October. what do you make of the fact that you are now drinking?

glassman

nothing, am ******* to be honest.

Short of moving to an Islamic country I can't seem to get away from this drug that is everywhere and legal.

I do wish thing like MDMA were legal instead as these seem to be a lot safer than alcohol. That's drug policy though and the big lobbying done by the alcohol industry

Mizz

Glassman. Speaking for myself, I have been where you are at time and time again. Alcohol is everywhere and readily available. We don't have to make ourselves readily available for it. That is easier said than done but sobriety is not impossible. It may feel impossible and we may climb Mt. Everest to get there but YOU can do this and you dont have to move to another country. Wherever you go there you are.

Dee74

I'm glad you're still posting Glassman.

Thats the wish of basically everyone here at one time or another - to drink but not go overboard.

If we could control our drinking we wouldn't need to seek out places like SR.

Admitting and accepting that I couldn't control my alcohol intake, helped change things permanently for me.

I wouldn't waste too much time on that kind of comparative thinking. Addiction is still addiction, abuse is still abuse.

Reality is actually pretty cool. There is a you and a life where you don't need to get wasted or high.


I always thought it was the last drink that did the damage but actually it's the first.

Don't take the first drink and, as hard as that is, keep at it and your life will change in amazing ways.

Patcha

Welcome Glassman. I too thought I couldn't stop drinking unless alcohol was unavailable, like if all the booze on the planet disappeared overnight then I'd be ok. I have tried moderating my drinking but wasn't too successful at it. Drinking is so deleterious to me that abstinence is the only sane option for me. You might want to look at things like SMART recovery or the This Naked Mind program. They both cater to people to want to drink less but not quit. Either way, stick around with us and keep us updating on what is happening for you. You can blog here, too. It's useful for some people to get their thoughts out and track what they are doing and thinking over time.

waynetheking

No easy way out here glassman. You have to quit long enough to see the light of sobriety. We all went through the struggles and work of sobriety to get here. Put 2 and 2 together. Do you think all of us would be telling you its better without it than with? If that wasn't the case we would all be drunk.
The pain will exceed the pleasure. Always does. Quit now before you lose everything. Think about it.

glassman

my record is 53 days sober. 1st of Jan till 22nd feb this year.

I may try again but I think i will be drinking for a while at the weekends.

thanks for all your advice

fini

just clearing this up, Patcha: SMART is for folks who want to quit, not drink less.
maybe you were thinking of Moderation Management?

LadyBug66

I hear ya! Alcohol is everywhere! Every social event is centered around food and alcohol! Commercials???? OMG they are always showing people having the best time drinking and partying.... they don't show the vomitting, fights and how awful we all look at the end of the night. LOL Or the horrible hangovers! LOL I'll be 3 years sober December 24, 2020 and it was so hard in the beginning because we have lots of social activities at our house with alcohol and all my friends drink too. It was lonely at first and weird because no one really knew how to act around me since I wasn't drinking anymore. Now it's normal and my friends are cool with me not drinking but I still go hang out and we still have socials at our house. I just make sure there are non alcohol options. I'm thankful for no more hangovers and having to apologize for my behavior or worse yet not remembering what happened the night before. You'll get there just don't give up on yourself. I think you are stronger than you think you are. Something to remember...... "I wish I would have drank last night.... said no one ever"

waynetheking

Ladybug66 you're AWESOME! Coming up on 3 years. I remember when you had less than 6 months and struggling. But your powering through this and it only gets better. The benefits of sobriety never stop. One day at a time. Works!

Dee74

I'm sorry that's your choice. When I tried to limit myself to weekends only two things happened - eventually, my 'weekends' began to start on a Wednesday, and I found I'd drink as much as I possibly could to make up for the days I was 'missing out' on drinking.

D

LadyBug66

Thank you! Yes, one day at a time! Some days it was one minute at a time!

Mizz

Gosh, If I could only drink on the weekends I certainly would not be on this forum.
Things I told myself and promised to myself:
Only on Friday.
Only on Friday and Saturday
Not drinking today (and end up drinking)
Only on days when the north star is aligned right over my house.

The amount of "I am only drinking on x,y and z" Ive said to myself and to others.

After a spell ....short lived spell, I would be off to the races of regret and shame, belligerence, what have you.
I am not saying this is you but If I was a weekend warrior then I would see no need for a recovery forum. Is that true? I dont know. It sounds true to me.

Patcha

No, I mean SMART recovery. I was going to their meetings for a while and it was very clearly stated that their model was based on harm minimisation and that you set your own goals around alcohol use which weren't necessarily abstinence for everyone.

Dee74

Hi Patcha

I have heard that before about some SMART groups in Australia.
https://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.a...ion-statement/

I understand the reasoning but honestly if I could have minimised my harm when drinking I'd have no need to visit SMART or ant other group...but once I take that first drink anything can happen, and usually did.

D

fini

how interesting. here in Canada, it is abstinence-oriented.