freedomfries

I hate being on day 9. I wish I was a few months sober and everyone could see I've changed.

Dee74

I think most of us feel that way in the beginning but I have to be honest - I look back now and I'm glad for every hard day, every bump, every scrape, every tear.

The journey made it real, y'know? I've worked hard for my new life and I'm not throwing that away

D

Fusion

FF, I understand that feeling, I felt as though I was at the base of a mountain path stretching upwards. I flipped it by visualising the beginning of my sobriety as a line drawn in concrete - behind me, the drinking life - in front of me, no mountain, instead a flat vista stretching to infinity, my new non-drinking life.

I find visualisation helpful in other areas of life, when I procrastinate, for instance, I visualise myself doing the dreaded deed, then it appears easier to enact.

SnazzyDresser

I know this feeling, the wanting-to-fast-forward feeling. But when you really think about it, the regular day-to-day living that makes up that time we're so eager to skip over and throw away heedlessly, that's literally the only thing we have. That's our life right there! Fast forward thru too much stuff and you end up cold dead in the graveyard. I mean we'll all get there sooner or later, but why not learn some things, do some good, and yes even have some fun with this time before it's gone.

GerandTwine

Hi ff,

When I read your post I smiled because I knew that when I signed in to post a reply I would then see your signature which tells a very different story than your post.

I happen to know it was 5 days ago that you made a very important decision documented in your signature that would forever change your life in a very positive way. It was a HUGE decision and an addiction shattering event.

There isn’t anything more significant that anyone can do to show they are being serious about ending an addiction. YOU DID IT. Now you only need to recognize anything that contradicts your Big Plan, namely, your Addictive Voice, and not act on what IT wants YOU to do.

I think your post’s not recognizing the importance of your Big Plan shows that you know you cannot prove to anyone that you really made that Big Plan, so you want to be able to do something else to prove to your loved ones that it’s true.

Well, guess what. There is something. When you go off Antabuse, you will have that chance and they will be impressed.

GT

D122y

Someone said they wished they could take a pill and go to sleep for 6 months while they normalized. I agree.

I guess it doesn't work like that. That is why relapse rates for the first several months are high.

Thanks for posting because it reminds me of the hell waiting for me if I relapse and try to start over again.

You are helping folks while helping yourself.

Thanks.

nez

If you fast forward, you miss the lessons that you were supposed to learn that make the future easier to deal with.

fini

ah, FF, you cannot get to where you’ll be without actually going.
don’t wish it away

freedomfries

I think I'm going to stay on the antabuse for the moment just for parents' peace of mind..