Rockbottom1964

Thanks, everyone for the nice and kind words. You all know how much they're appreciated, I'm sure. It's almost 10 PM here in South Africa, and part of my favorite time; dad and stepmom are normally both in bed by 7, sometimes earlier, sometimes later but not much. Then it's peace here, and me and the dogs can shut ourselves in our room and wallow in blessed quiet. Summer is here as well and the evenings are starting to warm up fast; it's 26 degrees (Celcius) tonight and in a week or so I'll have to start using the fan. Which is good because it adds "white noise" and drowns out the stepmom's snoring... I've never heard anyone snore as loud and I'm sometimes worried the old man will physically attack her; he screams at her almost every night to stop f****** snoring. It would be funny if it wasn't so plain just ugly-sad. When booze was banned she didn't snore at all.
Night all.

ciowa

It could be the nature of the communication. It doesn't seem like there is much cross talk in threads and so there are a lot of statements made in response to the thread starter and then it kind of ends there. Im not saying thats bad but you know that most replies are going to be directed towards the original poster so you post your thoughts and move on. I know some AA meetings don't encourage cross talk and it might be similar to that.

Stayingsassy

I’ll be honest, 2020 has made me less than excited about my own sobriety, and I’ve questioned why I got sober in the first place. The deed is done and I’m sober, but I’ve done a fair amount of romanticizing over the last six months and I haven’t felt like I would be helpful here.

Ive come back recently, checking forums again but it looks to me like a lot of people aren’t recovering anymore, I honestly believe many people are off attempting to moderate or just full on drinking.

whether I wish I could go back to the bottle or not doesn’t change the fact that I’m an alcoholic who stumbled pretty far down the pitcher plant and going back is a dangerous and dumb idea for me.

but escape in any form sounds pretty good right now does it not?

always brainstorming ways to escape that don’t involve alcohol, drugs or other dumb ideas. What else can I do? It is what it is.

BullDog777

My mom died in February. Since then, it's been a juggling act of buying a new house, selling 3 other houses and raising kids through a pandemic. There's been very little "me" time.

The kids went back to school today. Virtual, but school nonetheless. So that helps. In about a month, I'll be done with the last of my properties and then I can take some time off.

Hopefully then, I'll be able to spend some more time here and get back to the basics. Life is entirely too complicated for me right now. I need my serenity and peace back. Hopefully that will happen soon.

sortofhomecomin

Hmmmm.

nez

Is SR running out of steam/members?? If it is… what then? If it is not…what then? Is it only my perception that it is…what then? If it is not only my perception that it is, but is also the perceptions of others…what then?

If there are changes that I would like to see take place…what then? What am I doing to further the chances that the changes I want to see…might come to frutation?

Most times, in order to make effective changes in this world, I have to first alter my personal nature. If I wait for others to take action on my behalf, I'll be waiting a lifetime. But if I take action and change my mindset and behavior to one of hope and faith and actively pursue changes that I envision and want to nurture, then nothing can hold me back. If I am the only thing that changes as a result, at least change did occur in the world. And I don’t believe for a second that I am the only change that occurs as a result of changes that I make. I am firm believer in the ripple effect.

Patcha

I love the message board format for connecting with others but I think it's not as popular as it used to be. Younger people looking to get sober are probably using other social media platforms. I'm 50. I wonder what the age range of members here is. I agree with Carl though - showing support doesn't have to be through giving advice. Just acknowledging someone's post and that you relate to what they say or whatever is something I find very supportive to be on the receiving end of.

I'm on a personal finance message board that also has a Facebook group. FB gets way more traffic than the message board, but the message board is a lot more useful to me because of the threads of conversations and it's easier to find resources etc. FB is really more for chat than deep connection and following people's journeys.

Zevin

Bulldog777, I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom.

Kaneda8888

RB, I am not a fan of social media except for LI. Even there, I've seen a sharp drop off in original content over the past few months which is iindicative of the drop in business volume. The drop in SR may sadly be due to the rise in drinking. Just keep posting. Treat SR as your journal. The act of posting itself is therapeutic irrespective of replies I also agree with the other posts about being of service to others (admittedly I need to be more active too).

Rockbottom1964

Hi, NEZ. I’m not really sure I understand your reply? “What then”?? X 5? I, I, I? Changing myself first? Forgive me if I’m wrong, but the larger part of your comment comes across as being rather supercilious and/or uncalled for – to me at least? I was simply making an observation, with no intent whatsoever to “change” anything. Or anyone.

What has changed is me. I have become sober and I use SR to help me stay in my “sober better place”. And although I have done the sobriety thing all on my own, I’m not so much a “me-myself-I” person; more an "I get by with a little help from my friends" one. Which is the reason I visit SR. Not to change it (SR) or to find fault, but to learn, share and discuss.

Rockbottom1964

Hi, Bulldog. I've been following your threads since I "re-joined" SR again last year. Was sorry when life went downhill and I'm glad things got better so fast. Hope you get rid of the other properties just as easy and quick as your dad's.

Aellyce

I also first registered here a long time ago, under a different account - I think around 2010. I didn't take getting sober seriously until 2014 though. I was a very heavy and daily SR user for about two years (2014-16), in fact it became too much and distracting for me, so I quit for a couple years. I definitely felt part of a certain sub-community here back then (much like what also often happens in real life for people with similar interests and orientations), which was very active, but rarely see the old members of it these days. Some post intermittently, like myself. Had no problem maintaining my sobriety during my off time and didn't really engage in any other recovery activity either. Then registered again (with this account) but didn't check in much until earlier this year, when I started spending much more time at home. Still don't come here every day and don't post very much, more when something specific grabs my attention, but usually it fades pretty quickly. I imagine many older members have had similar experience, especially if they remain sober. For those who relapse, I imagine they either feel ashamed to come back and engage a lot, or just conclude SR didn't work for them.

As for new registrations and members, I imagine Dee is right. There are so many virtual places to go these days for information on addiction, recovery and community. Why in 2020 - perhaps part of it is also that people just have more time to be online and explore many different things? Maybe also more people feel comfortable using the various meeting-based platforms online, even if they just listen and not participate? And yeah, probably some just go with the flow and don't try to fix their addiction, thinking stuff like "the world is broken in big ways, so why bother". I heard that from many people in various contexts, not just addiction or mental health. It is a very destructive thinking and rationalization, but not rare regardless. For me personally, I feel I've made more constructive changes and new perspectives in my life this year than probably the 5 years prior (mostly sober), and it inspires me to explore new things, seek new communities and ways of helping rather than visiting the old things very much. So I think the change in participation may be complex, with a variety of reasons.

Outonthetiles

Covid has been weird times for everyone. Once this stuff ends, I think there will be an increase in posting again.

Coldfusion

I attend an online meeting based just outside Seattle twice a week. There are always several people with fewer than 30 days.

nez

I apologize that it came across as supercilious. I was trying to convey my thought processes when I get thoughts along the lines of "Is SR running out of steam/members??" because I do get those thoughts. Typing them out helps me to better work through and gain insight into my thought processes so that I can hopefully become the person that I want to be and that my dog thinks I am.

Awake61

SR is my main source of support. But I live in a very rural area, lost my license and am a rather old person at 65. If only 2 people posted, it helps me.

Bobbieka

I'm so sorry for your loss, Bulldog.

Rockbottom, I used to comment or add support every day. Then my father got sick and life happened and it felt hard to lend support when I was just trying to make it through each day. He passed at the end of May and I am just now trying to get back to normal. I'm assuming I'm not the only one. This has been one heck of a year.

Congratulations on 9 months. I'm glad you are here.

Rockbottom1964

Thanks again, everyone for your replies and points of view.
And sorry NEZ, if I misunderstood and/or jumped to conclusions. Its a habit (bad one) I have, which puts me on the backfoot too fast when I think - or imagine - people 'talking down" at me. Insecurity, underlying issues, life...and alcohol hasn't helped. But I'm working on it and I'm getting better.

nez

It's all good.

You and me both.

Patcha

Awake 61 and RB1964 - your cute as buttons doggies are delighting me.