ballachiot

I got to just over 4 weeks then had a big argument with my Girlfriend. To be honest my life sometimes feels like a big pile of **** at the moment and I just thought **** it.
I needed that escape.
Anyway 3 days of nonstop booze and I decided I'd quit again. Had a little taper on the 4th night and started over.
Had no bad withdrawals, which was nice, so here I am, back on the wagon again.

Best wishes to all

Dave

Anna

Hi Dave and welcome back, I'm glad you're here and working on sobriety.

Maybe you could come up with some ideas for when you are upset and feel like drinking? Have faith that you can do this.

LumenandNyx

Life is always going to throw the odd sucker punch. Being sober will enable you to handle it more gracefully and with integrity..

fini

good to see you back, Dave.
what will you do next time you "need" an escape?
i put "need" in quotation marks because so often it feels like we need some kind of escape when actually we are just unwilling to sit with ourselves in discomfort or conflict or whatever else.

Dee74

Welcome back Ballchiot

I think the suggestions here are good - make a plan, man

D

least

Maybe work on finding a less harmful 'escape'. For me, when I want to escape, I take my little dog for a walk to let her sniff and explore. I have such a good time watching her 'just being a dog' that it relieves my stress and makes me feel happy and content.

awuh1

One of the most important things in my sobriety is to have a plan for a case of the ****its. A plan for when I don't care about you, me or anything else. It's not an easy plan to make... and sometimes even more difficult to implement ... but its absolutely essential.

ballachiot

Thanks for all your advice, you're right, I need a plan for the **** its.
I also need to stop depressing myself.
I spend so much time dwelling on the past, thinking what could have been it's making me depressed, then I'm vulnerable to go off the rails as I feel I there's no point in anything anymore.
I need to change my frame of mind then hopefully everything will get better.

BullDog777

Alcoholics by nature, are very obsessive people. Girlfriends or boyfriends can become like a drug if we aren't careful. In early sobriety, it can be hard not to react because your feelings are still so raw. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.

A lot of the secret to early sobriety is to distract yourself from what's actually going on around you. I often said when I was first out of IOP, "If I knew what was actually happening around me, it would be far too much for me to handle" So you have to keep things as simple as possible. Even when you're mad or hurt from an argument...Hell, especially then.

It become a matter of learning to protect your sobriety so you can have a chance to heal. I've been married for 22 years so when i was first getting sober, I just sort of let her win all the arguments anyway. Even if I was right, most of the time it's better to understand someone than it is to try and make them see your point. Even if you're right. It kinda lends itself to the old saying"Do you wanna be right or do you wanna have peace?" That was a big one for me.

Maybe try a new hobby. I like to restore cars and make them stupid fast. I also paint, fly radio controlled airplanes and collect rare art books. It's a good distraction.

The more time you can put in between you and your last drink, the healthier your life will become. Al Pacino said in Any given Sunday "Life is a game of inches and staying focused and moving things forward, even if it's one inch at a time. Most of the time, it's those small steps, and not the big ones, that make dreams into reality." For the person in early sobriety, those inches can be measured by minutes, hours or days. An then one day you will be able to take a step back and see you've turned all those minutes, hours and days into some long term sobriety. As long as you don't give up on yourself...it's all very possible.