Thrown for a loop
 

hi everyone! I'm edc and I've been sober from alcohol for 49 months. July 24th 2016 will always be the best and worst day of my life. I'm back because I've been thrown for a loop.

Once I got sober I ended up in an on again off again relationship. We would just happen to spend time together whenever we could or wanted. We never moved in together but this significant other (SO) was an important part of my life even if you wouldn't call us together or a couple.

SO always downplayed wanting to be in a relationship. But I thought. Hey they will come around. I'm a catch. Who wouldn't want me. This is the person I'll bring home to my friends and family. My forever someone. Like one of those hallmark movies. And so I didn't really make an effort to have friends or date because I had SO.

Until two weeks ago

Social media being the root of all evil makes those friend suggestions. And so I'm browsing my new friend prospects profile when I see my SO (who for the record doesn't have social media). Turns out my SO has been in a relationship for the last 18 months. My person! And I didnt even know. Fueled by rage I texted SO and gave them one last chance to tell the truth. And they denied and lied. So against my better judgment I yelled and cried and sent the most sarcastic sassy texts of my life. And when SO decided to call I didn't answer. And SO won't respond to any messages since.

So the question at hand is...does anyone have any advice on sober breakups? And no, thankfully, I don't want to drink. But I feel very much like I did those first few weeks of sobriety. Anxious. Sick to my stomach. Devastatingly sad followed by fits of rage. Insomnia.

I know this is a blessing. I wouldnt want to end up with SO with the cheating and the lying. But I am grieving. I have to say goodbye to that magical life together that we didn't have. And I am incredibly thankful that they helped me learn more about myself and stay sober for good. But in the meantime. Help!

Love you all. Stay sober. One day at a time

Hi, Breakups are always hard and painful to go through. This breakup was very recent, just two weeks ago, so I imagine you'll take some time to find your way. Just make sure that you take the time to be kind to yourself and understand that you are allowed to feel all the emotions that you feel right now, and you will get through it.

People never cease to disappoint me. I don't know that there is an easy way to break up; it seems like the only remedy for heartbreak is time, unfortunately.

I am very happy for you that you aren't thinking of drinking - that would not help. I agree with Anna, now is the time to do lots of nice things for yourself. :)

Hi,

I must be missing something important. How is it possible for your exSO to show up when s/he doesn't have social media? Are you sure s/he doesn't have it?

That's a pretty gruesome way to find out that you've been lied to and cheated on. Ow. Thank God life goes on...

My SO doesnt have social media. But I guess higher power wanted me to know because in the random logarithms of the friend suggestions I found "the other guy" and said...he's with my SO. And then while scrolling and learning thats when I saw about the 18 month anniversary

I went to my parents for self care. And its nice to not be alone. But I can't think of anything else. Definitely in a anxiety ridden compulsive loop

I'm sorry you found out that way, but I'm glad you found out, cos you obviously deserve better in SOs
Congrats on staying sober too :)