Don't know where to start.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2020
Posts: 16
Don't know where to start.
I've never thought of myself as an alcoholic. I don't drink everyday. I drink on my two days off a week. Also sometimes when I get off work. Recently I have made some poor decisions while drunk and it is really bothering me. I also have extreme anxiety and depression that I left untreated for a long time which may have increased my desire to drink. Now that I have went and got help from a Dr for those I'm still drinking and I'm still making a fool of myself to my friends. I don't know if I'm an alcoholic but I do know I think about drinking all week I until it's my weekend and I can. I guess I always thought that alcoholics were people who showed up to work intoxicated and everywhere else for that matter. I don't know what I'm looking for here or where to go from here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: I'm sitting right here ...
Posts: 918
Hi,
After reading your post I'd say that if anything - your intuition/conscience is trying to get your attention about your alcohol use. Whether you're physically, psychologically, an/or emotionally dependent on it or you're just headed that way - you seem have an unhealthy urge and obsession for it.
Normal drinkers don't fantasize about drinking alcohol. Ask one. They'll tell you that they think about drinking about as often as they think about buying some new socks.
You can test yourself and how dependent you are or aren't by not drinking for a substantial period of time. Say a month. If you find that you feel uncomfortable overall during this time and that you're fantasizing about drinking to assuage the discomfort - well - that should tell you A LOT.
The only definition of an alcoholic that rings true for me is someone - anyone - who has become dependent on alcohol. Dependent either physically, psychologically, and/or emotionally. Alcohol becomes a liquid wheelchair.
After reading your post I'd say that if anything - your intuition/conscience is trying to get your attention about your alcohol use. Whether you're physically, psychologically, an/or emotionally dependent on it or you're just headed that way - you seem have an unhealthy urge and obsession for it.
Normal drinkers don't fantasize about drinking alcohol. Ask one. They'll tell you that they think about drinking about as often as they think about buying some new socks.
You can test yourself and how dependent you are or aren't by not drinking for a substantial period of time. Say a month. If you find that you feel uncomfortable overall during this time and that you're fantasizing about drinking to assuage the discomfort - well - that should tell you A LOT.
The only definition of an alcoholic that rings true for me is someone - anyone - who has become dependent on alcohol. Dependent either physically, psychologically, and/or emotionally. Alcohol becomes a liquid wheelchair.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hi and Welcome,
Alcoholism isn't about how often or how much you drink, it's about how drinking makes you feel about yourself. It sounds like you, like most of us here, make bad decisions and cause problems for ourselves when you drink. And, if drinking causes you problems in your life, then stoppin drinking is the solution.
This is a good place to start. It's important that you accept you cannot drink at all and that you want to change your life. My suggestion is to get rid of the alcohol in your house and make a plan for how you will stop drinking and stay sober.
Alcoholism isn't about how often or how much you drink, it's about how drinking makes you feel about yourself. It sounds like you, like most of us here, make bad decisions and cause problems for ourselves when you drink. And, if drinking causes you problems in your life, then stoppin drinking is the solution.
This is a good place to start. It's important that you accept you cannot drink at all and that you want to change your life. My suggestion is to get rid of the alcohol in your house and make a plan for how you will stop drinking and stay sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2020
Posts: 16
I appreciate the replies. I'm having anxiety just thinking about not drinking. I didn't even know I felt this way. Until some of y'all's suggestions were to get rid of the alcohol and not have it there if I wanted a drink.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi wheretostart 
no need to use the A word if it freaks you out but If there is a problem its best to fix it.
there are binge drinkers here as well as all day everyday drinkers, so you've found a good place for help.
if not drinking for a month and haveing your place free of alcohol worries you, i think that's a pretty good sign there's something going on.
we can help and support you along the way as you decide what to do
D
no need to use the A word if it freaks you out but If there is a problem its best to fix it.
there are binge drinkers here as well as all day everyday drinkers, so you've found a good place for help.
if not drinking for a month and haveing your place free of alcohol worries you, i think that's a pretty good sign there's something going on.
we can help and support you along the way as you decide what to do
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi wheretostart - I'm so glad you joined us to talk about this.
I was like you a long time ago. I was only drinking on the weekends back then, but every time it was in my system I behaved in a reckless way. I never would have imagined that I'd end up drinking every day - or the problems it would cause me. I'm glad you've been able to admit you have no control once you start drinking. It's a huge warning sign. It's good that you recognize it and are taking action.
I was like you a long time ago. I was only drinking on the weekends back then, but every time it was in my system I behaved in a reckless way. I never would have imagined that I'd end up drinking every day - or the problems it would cause me. I'm glad you've been able to admit you have no control once you start drinking. It's a huge warning sign. It's good that you recognize it and are taking action.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
I continued to drink for a long time while I pondered the question, “Am I an alcoholic?” I came to understand that for me, the answer was irrelevant. Alcohol was causing problems and embarrassment, so I quit.
I was pleased to find that 90% of my anxiety resolved. Amazing.
My perspective about my drinking changed the longer I was sober. I feel like I had to put it down to see how much of a problem it was. I read a bunch around here and realized that I could find the progressive nature of my problems with alcohol just as others described. Just because I hadn’t made it to the bottom of the hill didn’t mean I wasn’t careening down. Reading about alcohol use disorder and understanding alcoholism as a spectrum rather than a “yes/no” helped me.
I now know that even before I tipped into physical addiction, I drank to get drunk. Like you, I had no interest in a glass or two. It was not sustainable, especially as I got older.
Sobriety is a wonderful way of life. I couldn’t see that while drinking, but I embrace that truth now.
Good luck,
-bora
I was pleased to find that 90% of my anxiety resolved. Amazing.
My perspective about my drinking changed the longer I was sober. I feel like I had to put it down to see how much of a problem it was. I read a bunch around here and realized that I could find the progressive nature of my problems with alcohol just as others described. Just because I hadn’t made it to the bottom of the hill didn’t mean I wasn’t careening down. Reading about alcohol use disorder and understanding alcoholism as a spectrum rather than a “yes/no” helped me.
I now know that even before I tipped into physical addiction, I drank to get drunk. Like you, I had no interest in a glass or two. It was not sustainable, especially as I got older.
Sobriety is a wonderful way of life. I couldn’t see that while drinking, but I embrace that truth now.
Good luck,
-bora
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2020
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by boreas 
I continued to drink for a long time while I pondered the question, “Am I an alcoholic?” I came to understand that for me, the answer was irrelevant. Alcohol was causing problems and embarrassment, so I quit.
I was pleased to find that 90% of my anxiety resolved. Amazing.
My perspective about my drinking changed the longer I was sober. I feel like I had to put it down to see how much of a problem it was. I read a bunch around here and realized that I could find the progressive nature of my problems with alcohol just as others described. Just because I hadn’t made it to the bottom of the hill didn’t mean I wasn’t careening down. Reading about alcohol use disorder and understanding alcoholism as a spectrum rather than a “yes/no” helped me.
I now know that even before I tipped into physical addiction, I drank to get drunk. Like you, I had no interest in a glass or two. It was not sustainable, especially as I got older.
Sobriety is a wonderful way of life. I couldn’t see that while drinking, but I embrace that truth now.
Good luck,
-bora
I was pleased to find that 90% of my anxiety resolved. Amazing.
My perspective about my drinking changed the longer I was sober. I feel like I had to put it down to see how much of a problem it was. I read a bunch around here and realized that I could find the progressive nature of my problems with alcohol just as others described. Just because I hadn’t made it to the bottom of the hill didn’t mean I wasn’t careening down. Reading about alcohol use disorder and understanding alcoholism as a spectrum rather than a “yes/no” helped me.
I now know that even before I tipped into physical addiction, I drank to get drunk. Like you, I had no interest in a glass or two. It was not sustainable, especially as I got older.
Sobriety is a wonderful way of life. I couldn’t see that while drinking, but I embrace that truth now.
Good luck,
-bora
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Originally Posted by wheretostart65
My main concern is I can't just have a few drinks when I do drink. I always drink till I'm drunk and I don't want to do that anymore of that I'm certain.
Not drinking a tall may seem excessive to you right now, but not taking that first drink solves the problem for me.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2020
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by Dee74
I wanted to find that off switch everyone else seemed to have. I never found it, even after 20 years.
Not drinking a tall may seem excessive to you right now, but not taking that first drink solves the problem for me.
D
Not drinking a tall may seem excessive to you right now, but not taking that first drink solves the problem for me.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
I was a binge drinker who often went weeks and sometimes a few months between binge drinking. I had my own place, a car, a supervisor at my job, a relationship and a whole lot of people didn't know that I even drank. My drinking progressed over the years and of course got worse with time. 5 years ago I was still able to go out on a friday night, pass out and go back out on saturday night and pass out and recover on Monday. I only drank beer when I went out.
Eventually, I started waking up on Saturday mornings after only a few hours of sleep and drank "hair of the dog" and would end up drunk by saturday night.
At the end, I might be sober for a few weeks but then I would start drinking at the bar, stay up all night drinking into the next day and switch to vodka. Id drink vodka non stop for 2 or 3 days and try to recover through some awful hangovers. I would always tell myself that I was only going to have a couple of beers but as soon as I got the alcohol in my system, my night would take off like I'd been shot full of adrenaline.
I could have kept up with the drinking but I understood, finally, that I was never going to be able to control the drinking once I started. I went into a recovery program and I haven't regretted the decision at all. It can be done.
Eventually, I started waking up on Saturday mornings after only a few hours of sleep and drank "hair of the dog" and would end up drunk by saturday night.
At the end, I might be sober for a few weeks but then I would start drinking at the bar, stay up all night drinking into the next day and switch to vodka. Id drink vodka non stop for 2 or 3 days and try to recover through some awful hangovers. I would always tell myself that I was only going to have a couple of beers but as soon as I got the alcohol in my system, my night would take off like I'd been shot full of adrenaline.
I could have kept up with the drinking but I understood, finally, that I was never going to be able to control the drinking once I started. I went into a recovery program and I haven't regretted the decision at all. It can be done.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2020
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by ciowa
I was a binge drinker who often went weeks and sometimes a few months between binge drinking. I had my own place, a car, a supervisor at my job, a relationship and a whole lot of people didn't know that I even drank. My drinking progressed over the years and of course got worse with time. 5 years ago I was still able to go out on a friday night, pass out and go back out on saturday night and pass out and recover on Monday. I only drank beer when I went out.
Eventually, I started waking up on Saturday mornings after only a few hours of sleep and drank "hair of the dog" and would end up drunk by saturday night.
At the end, I might be sober for a few weeks but then I would start drinking at the bar, stay up all night drinking into the next day and switch to vodka. Id drink vodka non stop for 2 or 3 days and try to recover through some awful hangovers. I would always tell myself that I was only going to have a couple of beers but as soon as I got the alcohol in my system, my night would take off like I'd been shot full of adrenaline.
I could have kept up with the drinking but I understood, finally, that I was never going to be able to control the drinking once I started. I went into a recovery program and I haven't regretted the decision at all. It can be done.
Eventually, I started waking up on Saturday mornings after only a few hours of sleep and drank "hair of the dog" and would end up drunk by saturday night.
At the end, I might be sober for a few weeks but then I would start drinking at the bar, stay up all night drinking into the next day and switch to vodka. Id drink vodka non stop for 2 or 3 days and try to recover through some awful hangovers. I would always tell myself that I was only going to have a couple of beers but as soon as I got the alcohol in my system, my night would take off like I'd been shot full of adrenaline.
I could have kept up with the drinking but I understood, finally, that I was never going to be able to control the drinking once I started. I went into a recovery program and I haven't regretted the decision at all. It can be done.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
It doesn't seem possible to just quit completely.
I didn't think I could stop drinking either but I gave it a go - it did mean a ton of changes - but I found I really liked being sober and I really liked reconnecting with the person I used to be before booze.
I stopped in 2007. The difference is like black and white to Technicolor for me.
No one would stay sober if they felt they lost out on the deal - I hope you decide to give it a try
What kind of program. I can't go somewhere I have to stay or anything because of work. Ive never been a believer in group therapy like AA or anything I'm not sure what kinds of things are out there for me.
AA's really nothing like group therapy
There are other meeting based secular options like 'SMART Recovery 'or 'LifeRing', but If meeting based things aren't your scene try Rational Recovery, No meetings just books.
A quick Google will get you started on any of those methods
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
Originally Posted by wheretostart65
When you did quit was it difficult. Or were you able to simply not drink.
I started eating early and walking or trying new activities when I would have been drinking. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit, and the farther I got away from my drinking behaviors the easier it got.
Once I had some time under my belt, I had to start looking at the reasons I drank in the first place. That’s where this place came in. I learn so much from others.
Difficult, yes. But isn’t everything that’s worth having?
thats exactly it. It doesn't seem possible to just quit completely.
-bora
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
I can't go somewhere I have to stay or anything because of work. Ive never been a believer in group therapy like AA or anything I'm not sure what kinds of things are out there for me.
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