ballachiot

How long does the sporadic depression last? I'm nearly at 3 weeks but it seems like every other day I'm pissed off with everything and depressed.
It's not like withdrawal depression, there's no anxiety or feeling of impending doom, just really really sad.
I feel ok today but yesterday was absolutely awful, kind of half expecting tomorrow to be the same.

Did you guys go through the same thing?

biminiblue

The mood disruptions lasted a lot longer than three weeks for me...but it wasn't constant. Like you I'd roller coaster up and down from one day to the next.

It took many months.

If you're concerned you could see a therapist or doctor. I decided I was going to go through it without meds and in time everything did settle out.

LumenandNyx

It looks to me like you're going through what I like to call 'The end of your relationship with alcohol blues'. You allowed your relationship with alcohol and drinking to die and now that loss is in your face. And it hurts. I've been there. The grieving process won't last. It's not much different than the process one goes through over the loss of a relationship with a person. The amount of time it'll take to pass will be different for you than it was for me. It's different for everyone and it depends on how 'close' you were to your relationship with alcohol and drinking. Just remember that nothing in Life stays the same so - this too shall pass.

I can remember a handful of times in my earlier sobriety when I'd be doing something and a rage would just - bubble to the surface. And I'd think - where the hell did THAT come from. Now I know. I had to learn how to focus my patience on myself and I had to learn to really start caring ABOUT ME. I'm a worthwhile decent woman, man!! That's what I'd say because I knew and know it to be true.

This is something that - weirdly - helps me. There is a store not half a mile down the street and it sells alcohol. I can head over there any day of the week at nearly any time of the day to buy some. AND I DON'T because it's THAT EASY. It's that easy, that close, I have the money, and yada yada. I'm nearing six months of sobriety this time - it's infantile still - i know, yet I worked so hard to get here. I'm not letting anything or anyone tempt me. Nothing and no one is worth it. And THAT feeling of protection is stronger than any other feelings I have associated with drinking or alcohol.

Coldfusion

I found that being active in recovery improved my attitude. Do you have a sponsor and are you working the steps?

Anna

I'd say to give yourself a bit more time for your moods to even out. I'd also suggest doing things during the day to help alleviate your depression - for example, go for a long walk, listen to some favourite music. It's important to learn healthy ways to take care of yourself.

ballachiot

Thanks for your replies. It would seem pretty normal then?
I felt really good all day today so I'm happy about that.I'm going to get up early tomorrow and go for a walk so it might get me off on a good foot for the day.
I'm not doing anything like AAor have a therapist. TBH not drinking isn't really the problem, it's the mood swings. Yesterday I was at the point of **** it, if this is what it's going to be like I might as well drink myself to an early grave. But I know it's not the answer and it'll hopefully get better.

It's great having you all here that have already done it. Can be really reassuring at times

sugarbear1

Most likely you've drank over the feelings you had and just pushed them deep inside you and now they are surfacing.....it won't last forever but it will last until you do something about your mental health. This happens best if we get sober first, then we can release those feelings!

ballachiot

Hello Sugarbear. I'm not really into the therapy thing too much. I'd rather work it out on my own. But saying that I've taken a bit of a hammering in the last few years:

2 companies fail (one in last 6 months) (first one due to my ex wife embezzling me for 100k+which I found out about a year ago.
Moved house 6 times in 5 yrs
Worst divorce ever took 3 years (even my lawyer said it was the worst he'd known)
Finding my best friend dead.
I've also got an 11 year old with autism who is having major problems the last 6 months.
And of course, my old (ex) friend Booze

People go through a lot worse, but when I list it out like that I'm quite proud that I've managed to get to this sober stage

I'll see how it goes, the last 2 days have been ok so I'm hoping the bad days are relenting. If it gets back to every other day might consider talking to a therapist or getting some happy pills.

Dave