Bad day 1 again
 

So in late May I went to the ER got librium and managed to quit drinking for a month. Then one Saturday night I came home from work and found one of my cats dead stiff. I paniced and couldn't handle it and went on a month long binge drinking all day on my days off from work and from the end of work to bed time almost every single night. I think in the entire last month I was able to stay sober 2 days, not 2 in a row just 1 random day twice in the month without issues. When I'm not drinking my bp is normally around 110/70 or less even. Yesterday I binged and blacked out at 5pm and woke up around 10:30 and said enough was enough. I still have 9 - 10 MG libriums left over from last time since my dr told me not to finish the script, only take as needed. By 2:30 AM I had woken up in fear 4+ times from nightmares that felt so real and during those nightmares I remember knowing it was a dream and screaming in my head to wake up before the demons came back. Laid back down until 4:30 on my left side just to rest, some reason I can't sleep on my left side but I didn't want to risk sleeping again. I don't know if the nightmares were from withdrawal or the librium. My BP was 131/99 and pulse 86 at 4:30 which isn't horrible but is high for me. I had some chest tightness and just drove myself to the ER 10 minutes away once again and called off work for the day.

My BP was up to 150/105 and pulse around 100 by the time I got there. They weren't conserned about those values at all, they said they work when its at 180+. This time they didn't even give me ativan, just saline to rehydrate me and some magnesium via an IV. I just laid in bed for almost 6 hours while they watched my vitals. Right now I'm at 132/95 and a 90 pulse most likely due to my increased anxiety, I already have anxiety problems. After the magnesium iv was done they just sent me on my way home with no actual medication for withdrawal which is why my anxiety is so bad at the fear that it might get worse even though otherwise I feel fine, I'm not very hungry but I'm eating. Not sure if I should use the remaining 9 libriums or not but I'm trying to stay away from them unless I have more wd side effects. Day 1 once again and I hope this is finally it.

Oh and they did do blood work and some how it all came back fine, which I hope means bad with drawal will be unlikely.

Sorry about your kitty, and to hear you are having to go through this again.

We all have though, I dont know anyone who got it right first time out.

But it does get harder physically every time at least it did for me.

And then it worked, and now its five years later.

You CAN do this.

I noticed that the title of your post reads "Bad day 1 again"
Just so you know - your day 1s are always going to be bad. And most likely - they're going to get worse.

I've taken Librium before and it didn't do anything for my withdrawals and I took the entire RX, not just 9 pills. I don't know that so few will be of much help, but your doctor can advise you of that. Or at the very least, do your own research.

As for your last comment, this can definitely be your last day 1 for the rest of you life. All you have to do is never swallow alcohol again.

Best.

I'm sorry for the loss of your cat, SBL.

I used to keep guiinea pigs and I really regret drinking, especially when they died. I should have been there for them more than I was.

I think the real nitty gritty of recovery is ion having those awful - even tragic days - and still remaining firm on not drinking.

Remember when things get rough there is support here :)

Think about what else you can do for support too - I think you can never have too much support.

Make some real changes :)

I can;t advise you on your librium question - can you go back to the doctor that prescribed them?

D

Thanks for all the replies. As for the librium it was prescribed by an ER dr in the past. My regular Dr said to only take it if I notice any WD symptoms and so far after that ER trip and the IVs I'm back to feeling normal. A little tired but I do also have Crohns disease. Actually got my sober time app set this time to have something to look at to remind me of how long I've been sober. So far I'm 2 days 8 hours and 21 minutes. No cravings either. Just drinking my normal sugar free powerade, water, tea and coffee. :)

Hey spanked welcome! How is it going today?

I'm very sorry for the loss of your cat.

It sounds like you're feeling better and I hope that you continue reading and posting.

Today has been fine, tons of energy. Even when sober I'm lacking energy normally due to my crohns disease. Crhons + alcohol is a very bad mix too, one of my few 3 day impatient visits to the ER the dr actually knew what crohns was and put me into the ICU for the first night just to be careful of what may happen with crohns + alcohol withdrawal combined. I never want to be in an ICU again, one night of seeing all that around me was more than enough. I always forget that I have crohns, I just turned 38 on July 23rd and am one of the few rare people who are actually born with the disease so it feels normal to me which makes me forget I have it.

Spanked, I'm glad you managed to avoid particularly nasty withdrawals and that there's positivity in your posts. Man, when withdrawal is bad it's just brutal. Best of luck to you and I hope you never have to go through another one.