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Day 80......horrible physical anxiety/irritability

Old 05-19-2020, 05:18 PM
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Day 80......horrible physical anxiety/irritability

Binge drinking for 15+ years. Always took a few days off during the week, then right back at it heavy.
quit 80 days a go. first 6 weeks were brutal fatigue, barely walk I was so tired. Now my fatigue is gone, but physical anxiety is bad. Feel shaky, body very tight, extreme iriitability. Always worse in morning, gets slightly better at night. Also have lots of tingling in face/head.

Anyone else still bad physically at 80 days?
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Old 05-19-2020, 05:45 PM
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Everyone is a bit different but your experience is not unheard of. It sounds like you are getting better but at a slow pace? Also it is possible that you have other health issues that were masked by the drinking. Pre COVID I would say you may want to schedule an appointment with your doctor. Now I am not sure how to do this but perhaps soon you can schedule an appointment.

I can say with confidence that you are better off w/o the alcohol. So hang in there. You have my support.
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Old 05-19-2020, 07:41 PM
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Ditto support...

See doc of course, but learn some simple relaxation techniques..


This one is very good:


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WC3W29b-ySg

Don't worry about the tingling, let it be there.
Peace to you...
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Old 05-20-2020, 01:54 AM
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That stinks but from what I read totally common and it does get better provided you do not drink but what else is heard unformally around this joint is that if you start and stop again these things will often be worse the next time.

I was blessed in that I have never had any physcial signs of addiction or w/d at all. On the other hand, it makes it easier for my AV to say, see you dont have a problem, but then I remind myself of the total mess I made and I come back to reality.

So, net net, it stinks, but it will get better, as long as you don't drink. On the other hand, alcohol often masks other underlying mental health issues and if so, get treament. Many here are taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicines and that is OK if your doctor says you need it. My life was saved by taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicines after the birth of my second child. I don't taken them anymore, but I do not know if I would have survived without them.

Hang in, and please dont drink.
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Old 05-20-2020, 05:27 AM
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Congrats on 80 days, hockey! You're doing great, sounds like you're hitting a rough patch but there are always those. The important thing is that you know you're on the right track and that you hang in there. Keep sober every day, try some tactics to see what works on the anxiety and whatnot. Anxiety can't be crushed forever but there are ways to co-exist with it. Tinker a little, see what works for you. For me, long daily walks and Vipassana meditation help keep me semi-sane.
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Old 05-20-2020, 09:50 AM
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Yes, I drank for many years and once I ceased, I guess the underlying anxiety arose, as I believe I 'self-medicated' anxiety as a socially inept teenager when I first began drinking. Once I quit, I dealt with anxiety by researching, and applying, Mindfulness, trying hard to focus on what was happening right now, in this moment, and stopping my mind from rehearsing past events, and conjuring up possible future events...all were negative.

I now meditate, a couple of times a day, plus walk. If I awake in the middle of the night with racing black thoughts, I calm myself by meditating, just focusing on the breathe, and ignoring random thoughts. Plus telling myself that the anxious feelings are not 'me' but my limbic system fight/flight/freeze brain, and I separate from them, view them as an observer would, that way, for me, they lose their power.

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Old 05-20-2020, 04:31 PM
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Hi and welcome Hockey
yeah unfortunately it's not uncommon.

I find regular exercise helps me a lot with anxiety,

D
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Old 05-21-2020, 05:26 AM
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You're almost 9months sober. This is totally normal for 9 months of sobriety. Be vigilant, our bodies change every 30 days.... Be alert and keep moving forward!!
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Old 05-22-2020, 03:09 PM
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Originally Posted by hockey4848 View Post
Binge drinking for 15+ years. Always took a few days off during the week, then right back at it heavy.
quit 80 days a go. first 6 weeks were brutal fatigue, barely walk I was so tired. Now my fatigue is gone, but physical anxiety is bad. Feel shaky, body very tight, extreme iriitability. Always worse in morning, gets slightly better at night. Also have lots of tingling in face/head.

Anyone else still bad physically at 80 days?
Hey There. I am not at 80 days, but I am somewhere ~ 34 days. I was also a binge drinker. Usually 4-6 days heavy, then week hungover, then back on the wagon for a month before rinse and repeat.

For me, first 2 weeks, I was EXTREMELY sensitive to caffeine, sleep was poor and was shaky and irritable. And yes, mornings were the absolute worst, waking up sweating, anxious and hands tingling'ish. No face/head tingling. I can tell you, that I have been extremely active during this last month and moving and sweating has helped massively. All those ailments are going away slightly each day.

Right now, 50 days behind you, sometimes I feel a bit sluggish in the mid afternoon, and occasionally get a bit anxious at times. Ive said in another thread, the most negative thing about this recovery, is my sex drive is rather low, and sometimes the wedding tackle does not want to cooperate - which is the biggest problem for a new relationship I found myself into. But apparently that goes away and fixes itself too. My moods are stabilizing - but not totally there yet, still can get irritable over somewhat benign things (ie a dog walking by barking...). But, I assure you, things are getting better and better with each day.

Hope this helps.
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Old 05-22-2020, 05:20 PM
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I guess I had similar experience on my first serious attempt to sober up. It started with 70 days in rehab, which was pretty easy, but when I got back into the world, the wheels began falling off quite quickly. The next 80 or 90 days were a steady descent into the sort of thing you describe, loads of anxiety and in the end I could not get out of bed. Almost paralyzed with fear. In terms of recovery work I was doing absolutely zero and had rejected all offers of help, believing that I could fix my own problems. I could not.

A year or so later I had joined the AA program of action and was very much surprised to find myself at the 90 day mark and things were looking really good. I never drank again and. while I have been through some rough spots, have never been back to that awful misery of when I was trying to fix myself.

Why such a big difference in results from the different approaches? Here's my theory The AA experience suggests that when we straighten out spiritually, physical and mental healing follows. By that I mean when we get right with ourselves and the world around us, it relieves a massive amount of pressure. I brought a lot of baggage into sobriety. Memories of things I did that disgusted me, people I hurt, lots of unresolved issues that kept me in a constant state of fear and anxiety, wondering what would happen if someone found out, what if I accidentally bumped into someone from the past, just always looking over my shoulder etc.

On my first attempt I just tried to ignore or deny those issues, thinking that if I would just not drink, everything else would get better. It didn't, it got worse. On my second attempt I did the things I had refused to do previously. I wasn't unique in that regard. Nobody likes what is involved in the AA program at the start. We pretty much all wish there was an easier way, But there was not. I did not understand why certain things were necessary, much of it seemed counter intuitive but I was out of options. I found that understanding, in this case, came from doing.
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Old 05-22-2020, 07:11 PM
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At 3 months I was going insane. It didn't make sense how I could be that clean and still feel so bad.

SR taught me this happens to some of us. It is almost good in a way because if I felt better after a week or so, I likely would have started drinking again.

Everyone has their answer, mine was kindling, paws, and ptsd. I still struggle with anxiety, off and on. But, it is getting better.

I used to talk out loud to myself way too much, dealing with my made up issues. Thankfully, I mostly think about my made up issues now, and double thankfully I work through them internally.

I have been making notes to myself to remind how I solved my latest anxiety creating made up issue. I used to drink over these issues, now I don't.

I don't give advice much here by inserting the word me or I for you.

I know one thing for sure about my situation. It will get worse if I drink and it will get better if I don't.

Thanks.
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Old 05-23-2020, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted by D122y View Post
At 3 months I was going insane. It didn't make sense how I could be that clean and still feel so bad.

SR taught me this happens to some of us. It is almost good in a way because if I felt better after a week or so, I likely would have started drinking again.

Everyone has their answer, mine was kindling, paws, and ptsd. I still struggle with anxiety, off and on. But, it is getting better.

I used to talk out loud to myself way too much, dealing with my made up issues. Thankfully, I mostly think about my made up issues now, and double thankfully I work through them internally.

I have been making notes to myself to remind how I solved my latest anxiety creating made up issue. I used to drink over these issues, now I don't.

I don't give advice much here by inserting the word me or I for you.

I know one thing for sure about my situation. It will get worse if I drink and it will get better if I don't.

Thanks.
Thanks, I felt pretty bad up until about 85 days or so. I am at day around 120 and now feel a bit better but not for part of the day, and have a few bad days per week.

How long do you have now?
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Old 05-23-2020, 06:59 PM
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Originally Posted by hockey4848 View Post
Binge drinking for 15+ years. Always took a few days off during the week, then right back at it heavy.
quit 80 days a go. first 6 weeks were brutal fatigue, barely walk I was so tired. Now my fatigue is gone, but physical anxiety is bad. Feel shaky, body very tight, extreme iriitability. Always worse in morning, gets slightly better at night. Also have lots of tingling in face/head.

Anyone else still bad physically at 80 days?
Hey, thanks for the post. Yes, I felt still pretty bad at day 80. However, this was also when my PAWS started to lighten up a little bit. I do mean a little but I noticed it. Then I got another lift about a week ago. I'm currently at day 110. Sorry, I wrote 120 in the post above this but was confused. 4 months on the 3rd of June! To your tingling point, I still have some tingling mostly in my right hand but once in a while my arms too.

One thing I realized guys. Many including myself took detox meds, which are heavy. I noticed a major shift forward 90 days after I stopped taking THOSE, which was a week ago. I think any heavy medication will prolong or conflate people's experience with these issues. That isn't to say that medication doesn't have its place. I think that as far as "feeling better," not one's sobriety date, it may be wise to count days from the last serious medication (benzos, opiates, etc).
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Old Yesterday, 10:47 AM
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I'd say you're right on schedule. In my experience, drinking numbs your emotions and as your sober time increases, a lot of deferred emotions (and anxiety) comes to the surface as your brain and body comes back to life.
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Old Yesterday, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Outonthetiles View Post
I'd say you're right on schedule. In my experience, drinking numbs your emotions and as your sober time increases, a lot of deferred emotions (and anxiety) comes to the surface as your brain and body comes back to life.
I think that's all true, that there are suppressed emotions and undealt with issues that arise.. But also, there is the physiological aspect to this. It's not just suppressed emotions and anxiety. With for example gabba receptors and so on, for alcohol, it takes months to readjust back. This means it is often bio-physical. No amount of steps, meditation, or prayer (excepting miracles) will accelerate physical and brain chemistry healing. Time mostly, sobriety length, diet, rest, i.e. healing from the illness will. Support, meditation, etc, can help through that or lessen the reaction to it (stay calm, reduce fear).
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Old Yesterday, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
I guess I had similar experience on my first serious attempt to sober up. It started with 70 days in rehab, which was pretty easy, but when I got back into the world, the wheels began falling off quite quickly. The next 80 or 90 days were a steady descent into the sort of thing you describe, loads of anxiety and in the end I could not get out of bed. Almost paralyzed with fear. In terms of recovery work I was doing absolutely zero and had rejected all offers of help, believing that I could fix my own problems. I could not.

A year or so later I had joined the AA program of action and was very much surprised to find myself at the 90 day mark and things were looking really good. I never drank again and. while I have been through some rough spots, have never been back to that awful misery of when I was trying to fix myself.

Why such a big difference in results from the different approaches? Here's my theory The AA experience suggests that when we straighten out spiritually, physical and mental healing follows. By that I mean when we get right with ourselves and the world around us, it relieves a massive amount of pressure. I brought a lot of baggage into sobriety. Memories of things I did that disgusted me, people I hurt, lots of unresolved issues that kept me in a constant state of fear and anxiety, wondering what would happen if someone found out, what if I accidentally bumped into someone from the past, just always looking over my shoulder etc.

On my first attempt I just tried to ignore or deny those issues, thinking that if I would just not drink, everything else would get better. It didn't, it got worse. On my second attempt I did the things I had refused to do previously. I wasn't unique in that regard. Nobody likes what is involved in the AA program at the start. We pretty much all wish there was an easier way, But there was not. I did not understand why certain things were necessary, much of it seemed counter intuitive but I was out of options. I found that understanding, in this case, came from doing.
I'm glad things are going better for you. I myself am working a twelve step program.

I do have to say though that the "when we work through the spiritual malady our physical condition straightens out" idea is ideology from AA, not medically driven. A lot of things going on after sobriety are not just mental or "spiritual," they are physiological. Someone doesn't have a damaged liver or vitamin deficiency that can only be fixed by meditation, prayer, doing inventories, etc. They need medical help to address those, or lots of time as the body heals. My point is that the body isn't healing because someone isn't being spiritual. The steps may address some aspects, such as personal work, and AA provides a strong support group, which is important. What's likely happening is that some people work steps and get support, and stay long enough that the body and brain start to heal. It's not because of the steps per se, unless it's because the steps kept them sober long enough for the natural healing process to start.
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