Weekends are My Enemy
 

Weekends are my enemy. I do fine throughout the week, rarely even wanting to drink. I sleep better and wake up feeling more refreshed. On Friday I generally start thinking about alcohol. However, I'm usually thinking in the context of "I'm so not going to drink this weekend." But, I normally do anyway. Carl Sagan once said that humans are not able to totally control their thoughts or emotions. I can tell you I understand what he meant by that. I live the truth of that statement nearly every weekend.
When I go without drinking I always wake up the next morning feeling victorious! The coffee has a better flavor and breakfast is more relaxing. I think a lot of my issue is that I'm afraid to actually say I'll never be able to taste a good stout again. So I subconsciously over compensate by going on a binge. Anyway, I'm worried about the weekend. I'm always worried about the weekend. I need to just grow up and stop whining about losing something and use the opportunity to gain something else instead. Thanks, for the help so far folks. I am learning. The curve is steep though.

Sobriety is not a punishment. If you think it is, if you think you are being deprived of the joys of drinking, you are going to have a difficult time committing to sobriety. But that fear of not drinking is just your addiction's fear. As for never being able to enjoy the taste of a good stout...I imagine your "drinking for the taste of it" is long gone. You're drinking for the alcohol and I think you know it.

<div>Hi, Cuddly. Always remember that many of us on this site have been where you are right now. Some of us - like myself - still are. Sober, yes, but a long way from being able to say, "I've won. I'll never drink again." Just walking the edge and dreading the old AV bumping me or dragging me back into hell again. But hang in there and eventually you WILL succeed. Just like the old adage says: "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. And again, and again...</div><div>In the meantime - One day at a time, is good enough for now...<br></div>

You can't control what thoughts pop into your head, but you can 100% control what you do in response to them.

I don't drink, no matter what thoughts I may have.

Like Bim says that may be try but we don't have to act on every thought feeling or emotion - and if we do act we can choose a response - one that doesn't end in us drinking.

I will 'never taste a good stout' again - but I've gained so much else, that that really doesn't matter. Not a bit.
Honestly :)

D

Hi, Cuddly. Perhaps going back to the old basics will help; Waking up in the morning this weekend and fooling/consoling the AV by telling it that maybe tomorrow you will, but today, at least, you will not drink... Here's hoping you have a great and sober weekend.

For now you just need to string together a couple of weekends without drinking AND continue to get through those weekdays. I drank "on weekends " for a good portion of my drinking career. I usually made it through the week but occasionally the obsession would put one over on me mid week so continue to stay on your toes.

Easy answer would be hit friday and Saturday meetings. Not so easy today with probably still most meetings around the globe shut down. I would say find something to look forward to on Friday. I look foward to a hard run against a watch that will improve my physical conditioning and it gives me a buzz. I get so exhausted that I probably look fall down drunk in the first few minutes after I finish! It could be anything you can think of, even during a pandemic. It could be a walk, bodyweight exercises, weights if you have access, a Netflix movie, video games.

If you can just string together those first couple of weekends without drinking its gonna be huge. Just a few weekends and it will change your mental state to that of one with a month of sobriety. Not the be all end all of recovery BUT much more clear thinking. Recovery will get more manageable.

I hear you. Thursday through Saturday were usually my biggest drinking nights/days. As someone else noted, we can't control all our thoughts but we can choose different actions based on them. Something that helps with this issue is mindfulness practice and meditation. Some of that specifically focuses on watching our thoughts and feelings without being attached to them. Letting them flow by. It sounds silly but it actually does help on this specific issue.

For me, I've decided I truly want to stay sober. I've been blessed to have relatively few days of cravings in the last 100 odd days of sobriety. However, I still feel the MOST post acute withdrawal symptoms on those very weekend days, primarily Friday. For the last month I feel the worst of the week on Fridays. I can only assume it has to do with some kind of psychological trigger or body memory.