Notch8

I'm sure the newbie threads get old for the seasoned veterans here, but stick with me. At what point does someone in recovery feel like they transitioned from the early stages to a "new normal"? Are there definitive stages between the early days and above mentioned normal?
And also, I see many still track sobriety by days, even though many have weeks, months and years under their belt. Is there a reason for that?
Thanks.

Dee74

Questions like this never get old for me
for me I felt something 'shift' around three months.
I look back and realise that was the point at which I stopped thinking of recovery as something I might be able to pull off and instead began to see it as a viable new way of life.
I'm not really awate of any gradations or signposts to that change but it was a long time ago.
Other people may reach that point before then or later, and still have great recovery though .
Coincidentally it was around the time I stopped counting in days.
Again tho I know folks with many years of recovery - great recovery - who still know their day count
D

nez

I would like to answer your question...but I can't.

I had never been normal, so it was all new uncharted territory for me. I couldn't recognize it when it started happening because I had no experience with it. My first clue came from other people's comments about the changes in my behavior and the attitude of the new me. Wow!!! I guess it is actually working!

I now have 17 years of recovery and still can't tell you or me, what normal feels like. I just know that I am still changing...and I like the changes...so I am doing my best at making sure that I stay out of the way.

gatorman

When I smoked (smoked for 40 years) I often wondered what it would feel like to ‘not smoke’ or as you say ‘feel normal’. I quit 10 years ago and now know what it feels like to be normal ‘not smoking’. It is wonderful. The longest I’ve quit alcohol over the past 40 years was 10-1/2 months a couple years ago. Since then I must admit I struggle with it from time to time so I am still looking for what ‘normal’ feels like without alcohol.

Tetrax

Good to read you're doing well! I took a little longer than Dee but it really does get easier if only a tiny bit every day 'cause you've just got another day of uninterrupted sobriety experience under your belt. For my first year I counted in months after 30 days so I didn't get too bogged down in time but could still celebrate milestones (also this is when chips are handed out at AA). But that's just me!

Anna

Good job on 7 weeks of sobriety!

For me, it was about 3 months when I felt like I could relax, breathe normally, and have a good feeling about what I was doing. I don't feel like there were stages, and my emotional recovery was not a straight line at all.
I haven't counted days since early on, but I do stop and reflect sometimes on how long it's been and it feels good.

doggonecarl

Not sure what you think or hope "normal" is like, or what that timeline is like, but I wrote a blog post about my own experience:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ars-sober.html

ringoffire

Thanks for the blog post. I just wanted to make a note that I appreciate people willing to share these stories. It sucks to hear how long this sort of thing takes, but it is inspirational to hear that things do get better.
Cheers!

doggonecarl

Thanks. I wrote that over seven years ago and things are still improving. I'm blessed to be sober during the current COVID crisis. I can't imagine what the last months would have been like if I was drinking.

Gottalife

I would say it took about two years to get to where sober seemed to be a normal condition and living life each day became the main focus. The first two years were exciting times in many ways. All the big changes happened in that time, from losing the obsession to correcting many of my character defects and being able to get along with others.Getting rid of the demons from the past, and being able to look the world in the eye were other cool things.
After two years I guess I had rejoined the mainstream of life. As such I began the normal spiritual and emotional growth that people do though their lifetimes without the crippling influence of alcohol.
What I mean by crippling influence is not only the effects of actually drinking, but also the presence of alcohol in society or in places I might go. I no longer fear alcohol. nor have any problem regarding the fact that some of my friends and people close to me may occasionally take a drink.

EndGameNYC

Looking back, by the time I recognized that things had changed for me in significant ways I came to realize that those changes had been present for some time.

I do know that reaching out for help, a lot of help, and that helping other people made a big difference. Quickly and in the long term.

Rockbottom1964

Hi, Notch. Like you, I'm at very early days still. But I think I felt a definite shift at day 100, exactly. It was a milestone for me, one I had been subconsciously aiming for, I suppose. After that 100 became reality, I think things for me became a whole lot easier; I stop obsessing about alcohol so much, in a way, it was as if a huge load was gone off of my mind. As if I could "breathe easier", if you know what I mean?I count each day for one simple reason; in my mind, it would be much easier to start drinking again after for instance 20 days than 50 days, or 50 days instead of a 100. It would be much easier, to my way of thinking, to throw away 20 days than a 100. Like, after three weeks, I might have thought: Come on man, it's only 21 days - you can start again tomorrow. No big loss... But almost a 150 days in? 20 Weeks plus. Will I throw that away? Maybe - but not nearly as easy as 20 days...Just my take. I'm way to "green" here to give advice; just telling you what works for me, and why. Have a great day.

AAPJ

For me it's a journey where one never reaches their final destination. But each place I get to in my journey seems a little sunnier than the last.
I occasionally get an ah-ha moment about how/why things are different when reading the thoughtful posts written by other folks here on SR.
Regarding getting tired of newer folks. That's not my experience at all. New comers have something special to offer. It's complementary to the insights I get from the wise old timers.
Newcomer vs. Old timer? Different but equally valuable to me.

Funki

Congrats on 7 weeks! That's a good amount of time.

I felt horrible my first 6 weeks. I think my last true panic attack was somewhere in end of week five/week six. At 7-8 weeks I definitely felt better than the preceding weeks, although I had a cold, but still was deeply fatigued, foggy as hell, and had some vision disturbances.

It took about i'd say 10 weeks to see a real opening, and the symptoms reduce further. As some said, for me around 90 days I felt better than at 60 days and especially 30 days. I'm sitting here at 95 days approximately, and see real improvement. I still feel pretty foggy though, some anxiety (not panic level) some days, and my vision while getting better is still kinda weird. But yes, the 90-100 day range as some mentioned is I feel like where I saw significant improvement.

Funki

Yes, been through this recently. I could barely sit still, watcha movie, play a video game, or truly relax until the last 2-3 weeks (right before 90 days).

least

I was about 3 months sober and just wasn't 'feeling it'. I was advised to start practicing gratitude every day. It was hard at first cause I was depressed and didn't feel grateful for anything. But I kept doing it until it became a habit. It was at around 6 months sober that I noticed how much better I was feeling and that sobriety was indeed, my new normal.

soberandhonest

Congrats on seven weeks! That’s awesome! For me, 100 days was huge. I feel like, at about that time, I stopped looking back and asking ‘can I do this?’ And began looking forward and saying it can do this!’ The whole first year was filled with new sober experiences. The second year brought new risks, because the experiences weren’t new anymore. For your second question, I don’t count days, but I look up the number fairly frequently and I never forget my sober date. Looking at my count just gives me a small sense of continued accomplishment.