Notch8

I read a lot. I also watch a lot of youtube vids on fitness, addiction and mental health disorders. Many here have read my past few threads and may remember how I am struggling. I really feel like I'm not getting anywhere, not moving forward, just sorta stagnant.
I heard a quote from a fat kid from a broken home who went on to become a Navy Seal and an ultra-athlete. He had this to say: "I learned early on that I needed to invent (in myself) someone who didn't exist before." That has hung with me all weekend as I pondered my own recovery.
Please vote and discuss as needed. Thanks.

doggonecarl

my first few months were focused on staying sober. Just that. Not drinking. It was only later that the sober me began to emerge.

2ndhandrose

I agree with carl, my first few (several) months were just about staying sober. It wasn't until my 2nd and 3rd years sober that I started to really discover who I was underneath the addiction and bring my true self to the forefront.

Notch8

Thanks for the replies. I've never been sober beyond about three months before. I'm in uncharted waters.

Gottalife

I was three months in, working the AA steps and into step nine when, it seemed to me, I realized the whole world had been reinvented. A cold and unfriendly place, it had turned into something warm and welcoming. I was seeing it through different eyes and a world I never knew existed was revealed to me.

I can't vote in your poll because I didn't reinvent or create anything.

ZIP

I'll also side with Carl. My first 90 days was devoted to strictly staying sober. I made it a personal goal that I would achieve.A focused commitment and real effort made the journey doable.

zjw

My first few months where none of that. It was miserable hell I might as well have been a zombie I was such a total mess. Maybe around 8 or 9 months glimpses of myself started to appear even 2 years in I still didn’t find myself. I’d say years later there emerged the other self which more or less is the total opposite of the alcoholic me in many ways. I dunno that I really reinvented more discovery really. It was a long process I’m almost 9:years sober and I’m still discovering more. It’s about discovery and maintaining a good balance to keep my sanity now.

least

I'm with Carl. My first few months were a bumpy ride and it wasn't til I started to practice gratitude every day that it evened out. But my primary energy was just not drinking until it became my new normal.

Notch8

Nice to see this thread still active. I've been having some tough times the past few days... Not sure if its early sobriety or the bipolar talking....

Dee74

Talking about it often helps Notch?

D

Cellardweller

The first few months, I think I was flying around in the pink cloud.

I was feeling better, eating better, taking care of myself, and making not drinking my first priority. The biggest thing was being sober. It can be exciting in its own way. Like others have said above, you don't always rediscover/reinvent yourself. Sometimes you just have to live and exist and you find there's things you like that you thought you didn't, and don't like some of the thing you thought you did. I'm about three years in and if I'm honest with myself, I've tried to shoehorn myself into a mold that I don't think I really fit. So, I guess I'm taking it as it comes. The one thing I want to focus on however is taking care of myself if I can. That, I'm hoping will make getting sober worthwhile.

Best of luck with things.

ciowa

I was a binge drinker so I had weeks and months where I didn't drink. Stopping drinking at first meant I mostly devoted more time to doing the things I did when I was sober, like reading, visiting with family and stuff like that. But I was in IOP so I had started the work of learning more about alcohol and why it had become a disorder in my life. I did start the journey of relearning how to cope with my emotions like I used to do before I started using alcohol as a coping tool.

BackandScared

The poll says I already voted!! But I have zero recollection of this. It must say everything about my first few months then: totally focused on making it day by day. Reading about alcohol, thinking about alcohol, wishing I could forget 'how many days since quitting'. There was no 'me' there, just the 'person quitting'. I also gave up smoking.

As I approach my first anniversary I am now slowly rediscovering the self-respect I once had. Hopefully, once I manage the self-respect, I can work on my self-confidence (the one I never had).

Dropsie

How are you Notch?

jinx77

That poll opened my eyes.
I havent been thinking about how I may "change" living sober.
I went into detox on the 16th.
What I have become with the bottle, seems like most aspects can never change but, I need changes to find happiness/serenity.
Time will tell.

MissPerfumado

Great poll.

If I'd taken that poll in the first 2 years of sobriety, I would have said I completely created a new person. I was so enthusiastic about my new found commitment to fitness, enthusiasm about work, looking after myself properly and so on, I felt completely new.

Maybe a little later on, I would have said, it's a blend of new creation and rediscovery.

Today I say it's a completely rediscovery. Who I am today was there all along but I was allowing the lower egocentric part of my brain to run the show and make decisions. Today I am more and more integrating a 'higher' part of me, aligning with this human personality and physical body, to live the life I came here to live. So I'm finally becoming the Miss P that I always intended to be.