The Calm before the Storm??
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I'd prefer to discuss this privately - I sent you a PM but it looks like maybe you didn't read it, so...
We have no politics rule here - it keeps the focus on recovery.
I don't want people to read this thread and think its ok to discuss politics in this fashion
or wonder why their post gets removed when you're freely invoking your disgust at your national politics here.
We don't allow it with Trump, or Biden, in the US or Boris Johnson on the UK or Trudeau in Canada or Scott Morrison in my country, or the state leaders mayors and other officials and the parties they represent..
To be fair the rule has to be across the board, for everyone.
There's any number of other places where you could discuss South African politics.
Lets draw a line here please
Dee
Administrator
SR
We have no politics rule here - it keeps the focus on recovery.
2. Outside Agendas: No posts of an overtly political or religious nature OR posts promoting advocacy of particular personal, medical, legal, religious, political, or non-profit causes. The forums are intended for offering mutual personal support related to recovery from addiction or recovery for family and friends. This is our primary purpose. Debating controversial subjects should be taken elsewhere. Limited references are allowed, but the forums should not be used to convert others. Do not post content or links or materials to and from sites that flame someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, or recovery program/method. It is inappropriate to promote the use of alcohol or drugs on our addiction recovery forums.
the Kleptocratic ANC bullies who “runs” this country,
half-witted ANC regulation
We don't allow it with Trump, or Biden, in the US or Boris Johnson on the UK or Trudeau in Canada or Scott Morrison in my country, or the state leaders mayors and other officials and the parties they represent..
To be fair the rule has to be across the board, for everyone.
There's any number of other places where you could discuss South African politics.
Lets draw a line here please
Dee
Administrator
SR
Last edited by Dee74; 04-20-2020 at 12:32 AM. Reason: added rule;edited for clarity.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
Originally Posted by Obladi 
How's it going, rb?
The black-market booze did not materialize, but I’m not going to ask them why not. Maybe it will happen tomorrow; I hope so. She watched TV until late last night; normally they’re both in bed around seven-ish. Today they’re both complaining about poor sleep and bad dreams. I really hope tomorrow will be OK as well, but I know that at some stage the s*** will hit the fan.
Have a wonderful week, O.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Why do I drink.?
Is it because my love dumped me, because my dog got run over, because the shops are closed or is it because I can't not drink.? Do I achieve sober serenity by fixing the outside things or the inside of self?
Is it because my love dumped me, because my dog got run over, because the shops are closed or is it because I can't not drink.? Do I achieve sober serenity by fixing the outside things or the inside of self?
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
Originally Posted by Grymt
Why do I drink.?
Is it because my love dumped me, because my dog got run over, because the shops are closed or is it because I can't not drink.? Do I achieve sober serenity by fixing the outside things or the inside of self?
Is it because my love dumped me, because my dog got run over, because the shops are closed or is it because I can't not drink.? Do I achieve sober serenity by fixing the outside things or the inside of self?
Kindly keep those to yourself, or better yet, don't visit and/or reply to my posts.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
guys if you don't like a post or a poster you can use the ignore function
D
If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
Hey RB
Just a hello.
I got stuck living with my alcoholic mother in her basement for awhile after graduate school due to money issues.
She would wander down there drunk and often angry, or leave the stove on burning up pans after she passed out.
Cleaning never occurred to her, but she could hoard stale and often moldy rotten food like anything. The cockroaches ate well.
Living with long-term alcoholic family is just about the worst thing ever. You love and hate them all at once, and they rarely leave you alone.
Hang in there
Just a hello.
I got stuck living with my alcoholic mother in her basement for awhile after graduate school due to money issues.
She would wander down there drunk and often angry, or leave the stove on burning up pans after she passed out.
Cleaning never occurred to her, but she could hoard stale and often moldy rotten food like anything. The cockroaches ate well.
Living with long-term alcoholic family is just about the worst thing ever. You love and hate them all at once, and they rarely leave you alone.
Hang in there
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
Hey RB
Just a hello.
I got stuck living with my alcoholic mother in her basement for awhile after graduate school due to money issues.
She would wander down there drunk and often angry, or leave the stove on burning up pans after she passed out.
Cleaning never occurred to her, but she could hoard stale and often moldy rotten food like anything. The cockroaches ate well.
Living with long-term alcoholic family is just about the worst thing ever. You love and hate them all at once, and they rarely leave you alone.
Hang in there
Just a hello.
I got stuck living with my alcoholic mother in her basement for awhile after graduate school due to money issues.
She would wander down there drunk and often angry, or leave the stove on burning up pans after she passed out.
Cleaning never occurred to her, but she could hoard stale and often moldy rotten food like anything. The cockroaches ate well.
Living with long-term alcoholic family is just about the worst thing ever. You love and hate them all at once, and they rarely leave you alone.
Hang in there
Gods - you really do know what it's all about: you should see the fridge/s here. Huge, but overflowing with left-over food, sometimes weeks old. Moldy and gray and just Ughh...
I hope you're having a wonderful week, Hawk.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Hey, friend. Doing better today?
I don't know if you do any mindfulness stuff, but it seems like you have a natural bent in that direction, occassional rant notwithstanding. I don't know why I thought of asking that, but there it is - a suggestion in the form of a question.
xo
Me
I don't know if you do any mindfulness stuff, but it seems like you have a natural bent in that direction, occassional rant notwithstanding. I don't know why I thought of asking that, but there it is - a suggestion in the form of a question.
xo
Me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
Originally Posted by Obladi
Hey, friend. Doing better today?
I don't know if you do any mindfulness stuff, but it seems like you have a natural bent in that direction, occassional rant notwithstanding. I don't know why I thought of asking that, but there it is - a suggestion in the form of a question.
xo
Me
I don't know if you do any mindfulness stuff, but it seems like you have a natural bent in that direction, occassional rant notwithstanding. I don't know why I thought of asking that, but there it is - a suggestion in the form of a question.
xo
Me
The Rants, I think, are one of the few ways I get to let off steam/open up. Although I live in a house with other people, there is very little communication; I sometimes go for days without having spoken more than the occasional “Good- morning”. So, SR is where I go when I need to share and/or need human company.
A little voice just said: “Don’t forget to mention booze”....
Drinking used to “take the edge off” as they say. It relaxed me and gave me that “temporary escape” from reality for a few hours – or days – at a time. But it made me sick in the end – in body and mind, and not least because I had/have a living template (Dad) of what I was fast becoming.
137 Days today. Still getting better each day, but still counting and hoping I never stop.
Thanks for being a friend, O.
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
Originally Posted by ABCCuddly
Rock, how are you doing? How are your parents?
Some people would say now is a great time for them to kick the booze – they’re past the worst. They would say this just proves that they are not alcoholics… Mý take on the situation, is that the certainty of them being able to drink again in another 10 days – perhaps sooner – is what keeps them from going into bad withdrawal.
I hope you’re having a great week, Cuddly.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
This definition from the Oxford online dictionary is how I understand mindfulness:
a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.
It's living, no, more like being, in the moment, noticing but not judging how one feels. I spent most of my life noticing and trying to decipher ("judge") how everyone else felt, why they were behaving how they were. That gave me the illusion of having the ability to control my reactions to them.
Mindfulness as described in that definition allows me to accept myself, and by extension is helping me to learn to avoid getting wrapped up in my own expectations of myself or of anyone else.
Not sure why I'm telling you this, but there you have it.
Your elders will most likely return to drinking, it's true. Sad, for sure. I think somehow that mindfulness might help to minimize the impact this has on you and your ability to continue moving forward?
Glad they are physically ok. That, at least, is a blessing all around.
xo
Me
a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.
It's living, no, more like being, in the moment, noticing but not judging how one feels. I spent most of my life noticing and trying to decipher ("judge") how everyone else felt, why they were behaving how they were. That gave me the illusion of having the ability to control my reactions to them.
Mindfulness as described in that definition allows me to accept myself, and by extension is helping me to learn to avoid getting wrapped up in my own expectations of myself or of anyone else.
Not sure why I'm telling you this, but there you have it.
Your elders will most likely return to drinking, it's true. Sad, for sure. I think somehow that mindfulness might help to minimize the impact this has on you and your ability to continue moving forward?
Glad they are physically ok. That, at least, is a blessing all around.
xo
Me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
Originally Posted by Obladi
This definition from the Oxford online dictionary is how I understand mindfulness:
a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.
It's living, no, more like being, in the moment, noticing but not judging how one feels. I spent most of my life noticing and trying to decipher ("judge") how everyone else felt, why they were behaving how they were. That gave me the illusion of having the ability to control my reactions to them.
Mindfulness as described in that definition allows me to accept myself, and by extension is helping me to learn to avoid getting wrapped up in my own expectations of myself or of anyone else.
Not sure why I'm telling you this, but there you have it.
Your elders will most likely return to drinking, it's true. Sad, for sure. I think somehow that mindfulness might help to minimize the impact this has on you and your ability to continue moving forward?
Glad they are physically ok. That, at least, is a blessing all around.
xo
Me
a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.
It's living, no, more like being, in the moment, noticing but not judging how one feels. I spent most of my life noticing and trying to decipher ("judge") how everyone else felt, why they were behaving how they were. That gave me the illusion of having the ability to control my reactions to them.
Mindfulness as described in that definition allows me to accept myself, and by extension is helping me to learn to avoid getting wrapped up in my own expectations of myself or of anyone else.
Not sure why I'm telling you this, but there you have it.
Your elders will most likely return to drinking, it's true. Sad, for sure. I think somehow that mindfulness might help to minimize the impact this has on you and your ability to continue moving forward?
Glad they are physically ok. That, at least, is a blessing all around.
xo
Me
Living in/for the moment (mindfulness) is mostly where I don’t want to be these days. Accepting myself and acceptance of my situation, is an absolute no-no-no-go for me; promising myself that this (my situation) will end and change, is. It’s why I’m still alive. Knowing it will get better; that I’m going to make it better. (Kicking the booze was just a start). Hence the escape into an unreal world; day-dreaming and imagination.
Unfortunately it’s not always possible when I find myself in bad situations. So I have something I call “the curtain thing”; some people would call it “shutting down”. I imagine lowering a curtain between myself and bad stuff – be it people, acts or situations. I withdraw - physically when I can, mentally when I can’t; just go blank for a while. But sometimes even that doesn't work, and I end up ranting on SR…
Two days to go to 140 days. Twenty weeks...
Have a wonderful day, O.
xoxo
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I get not accepting "the situation," but you kind of are, aren't you? You're still there. I'm not saying the situation is ok or acceptable, it sounds horrible. But you're enduring.
Still, the acceptance I meant in mindfulness is the ability to release attachments to feelings. To notice them but not turn feelings into being who or what I am. I'm outraged or sad in turns about the hurtful selfishness of our society, but it doesn't turn me into an angry person. It sure does (or has in the past) turn me into a despondent and angry person when I've perceived individual people as being hurtful to me. And that's where it gets tricky - that's where I need to do the most "work."
When I "do" mindfulness correctly it attaches me in a good way to myself. This practice is, I think, actually an innate ability or tendency for all animals including humans. We just have learned to overlay it with rules and judgement that divide us from others, and especially from ourselves.
I think I just morphed this conversation into the one I've been having with Grymt. Makes sense; we're all connected.
Still, the acceptance I meant in mindfulness is the ability to release attachments to feelings. To notice them but not turn feelings into being who or what I am. I'm outraged or sad in turns about the hurtful selfishness of our society, but it doesn't turn me into an angry person. It sure does (or has in the past) turn me into a despondent and angry person when I've perceived individual people as being hurtful to me. And that's where it gets tricky - that's where I need to do the most "work."
When I "do" mindfulness correctly it attaches me in a good way to myself. This practice is, I think, actually an innate ability or tendency for all animals including humans. We just have learned to overlay it with rules and judgement that divide us from others, and especially from ourselves.
I think I just morphed this conversation into the one I've been having with Grymt. Makes sense; we're all connected.
Member
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 307
Originally Posted by Obladi
I get not accepting "the situation," but you kind of are, aren't you? You're still there. I'm not saying the situation is ok or acceptable, it sounds horrible. But you're enduring.
Still, the acceptance I meant in mindfulness is the ability to release attachments to feelings. To notice them but not turn feelings into being who or what I am. I'm outraged or sad in turns about the hurtful selfishness of our society, but it doesn't turn me into an angry person. It sure does (or has in the past) turn me into a despondent and angry person when I've perceived individual people as being hurtful to me. And that's where it gets tricky - that's where I need to do the most "work."
When I "do" mindfulness correctly it attaches me in a good way to myself. This practice is, I think, actually an innate ability or tendency for all animals including humans. We just have learned to overlay it with rules and judgement that divide us from others, and especially from ourselves.
I think I just morphed this conversation into the one I've been having with Grymt. Makes sense; we're all connected.
Still, the acceptance I meant in mindfulness is the ability to release attachments to feelings. To notice them but not turn feelings into being who or what I am. I'm outraged or sad in turns about the hurtful selfishness of our society, but it doesn't turn me into an angry person. It sure does (or has in the past) turn me into a despondent and angry person when I've perceived individual people as being hurtful to me. And that's where it gets tricky - that's where I need to do the most "work."
When I "do" mindfulness correctly it attaches me in a good way to myself. This practice is, I think, actually an innate ability or tendency for all animals including humans. We just have learned to overlay it with rules and judgement that divide us from others, and especially from ourselves.
I think I just morphed this conversation into the one I've been having with Grymt. Makes sense; we're all connected.
Well, I suppose my mindfulness in this case, is there all right. As far as it pertains to the acceptance of my situation; but only because I see it as a temporary thing. “Enduring” is an apt description. Despondency and anger both, I seldom allow into my emotional range these days, and when I do, it’s fleeting at best, and not at my situation. At its cause, yes, and at them and those who exacerbate it. On that, I can stew for hours. Mostly, though, I draw down the curtain and go to my own private place. Tomorrow is another day.
Your friend, RB.
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