Homosexuality and alcohol (drugs)
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
yes, Vino, please let us know how you’re doing.
i have been thinking about this thread, and your experience. i am a queer woman, and as such will say that i do not see your experiences as having anything to do with homosexuality per se, but everything to do with drunk and drugged sex for sex’ sake, or for kicks and possibly driven by desire for novelty.
but of course i didn’t have your experience and am not in your spot.
so what i say might be entirely off the mark.
any kind of sexual engagement that is not freely chosen is abusive, to yourself, the other or both.
what’s done is done. going forward, you have possibilities of not ever putting yourself into such situations again.
i have been thinking about this thread, and your experience. i am a queer woman, and as such will say that i do not see your experiences as having anything to do with homosexuality per se, but everything to do with drunk and drugged sex for sex’ sake, or for kicks and possibly driven by desire for novelty.
but of course i didn’t have your experience and am not in your spot.
so what i say might be entirely off the mark.
any kind of sexual engagement that is not freely chosen is abusive, to yourself, the other or both.
what’s done is done. going forward, you have possibilities of not ever putting yourself into such situations again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by fini 
yes, Vino, please let us know how you’re doing.
i have been thinking about this thread, and your experience. i am a queer woman, and as such will say that i do not see your experiences as having anything to do with homosexuality per se, but everything to do with drunk and drugged sex for sex’ sake, or for kicks and possibly driven by desire for novelty.
but of course i didn’t have your experience and am not in your spot.
so what i say might be entirely off the mark.
any kind of sexual engagement that is not freely chosen is abusive, to yourself, the other or both.
what’s done is done. going forward, you have possibilities of not ever putting yourself into such situations again.
i have been thinking about this thread, and your experience. i am a queer woman, and as such will say that i do not see your experiences as having anything to do with homosexuality per se, but everything to do with drunk and drugged sex for sex’ sake, or for kicks and possibly driven by desire for novelty.
but of course i didn’t have your experience and am not in your spot.
so what i say might be entirely off the mark.
any kind of sexual engagement that is not freely chosen is abusive, to yourself, the other or both.
what’s done is done. going forward, you have possibilities of not ever putting yourself into such situations again.
I agree. However, I get the feeling the OP willingly goes along with "gay for pay" assuming the drugs and/or money is right.
First thing of course is to cut out the drink/drugs. As long as the OP is loaded such destructive behavior will likely continue.
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Don't put the adjective before the noun.
Given there's lots of good constructive advice on here, the only thing I would add is that whatever you do don't put the adjective before the noun.
You are a human being, noun, first. Whatever your sexuality, LGBT, whatever, adjective, second.
This way you'll avoid a lot of confusion , you and your sobriety comes first, always. Keep it simple, ok.
You are a human being, noun, first. Whatever your sexuality, LGBT, whatever, adjective, second.
This way you'll avoid a lot of confusion , you and your sobriety comes first, always. Keep it simple, ok.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Redmayne
Given there's lots of good constructive advice on here, the only thing I would add is that whatever you do don't put the adjective before the noun.
You are a human being, noun, first. Whatever your sexuality, LGBT, whatever, adjective, second.
This way you'll avoid a lot of confusion , you and your sobriety comes first, always. Keep it simple, ok.
You are a human being, noun, first. Whatever your sexuality, LGBT, whatever, adjective, second.
This way you'll avoid a lot of confusion , you and your sobriety comes first, always. Keep it simple, ok.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 82
Hi!
(My English is awfully bad so please be so kind and excuse me all errors.)
I am sorry to toss this around but ... I have a problem.
Well, his girlfriend (19) found out. My friend (31) appearently just deleted the video which we filmed and forgot to empty the Recycle Bin.
No, this is not a joke. This actually happened 2 days ago. My friend asked me to come by today and told me everything. She saw that video ... Dear Lord, I would not want to be in her possition. I told my friend that she will eventually find out. And she did. I still can't believe it.
Apperently she did not pack her clothes and went. She just made a lot of drama. My friend wants to be as polite as possible with her and also promissed that he'll buy her some nice "things". He also suggested that we should not see eachother (especially his GF and me) so often.
What would you recomend? I think it would be wise to talk to the young Lady. Not to put my head into the sand. Or should I just back off and let the time fix it? Although the video is deleted she still can talk publicly about the situation.
So, we are going up and down ... and we never know where life will take us.
(My English is awfully bad so please be so kind and excuse me all errors.)
I am sorry to toss this around but ... I have a problem.
Well, his girlfriend (19) found out. My friend (31) appearently just deleted the video which we filmed and forgot to empty the Recycle Bin.
No, this is not a joke. This actually happened 2 days ago. My friend asked me to come by today and told me everything. She saw that video ... Dear Lord, I would not want to be in her possition. I told my friend that she will eventually find out. And she did. I still can't believe it.
Apperently she did not pack her clothes and went. She just made a lot of drama. My friend wants to be as polite as possible with her and also promissed that he'll buy her some nice "things". He also suggested that we should not see eachother (especially his GF and me) so often.
What would you recomend? I think it would be wise to talk to the young Lady. Not to put my head into the sand. Or should I just back off and let the time fix it? Although the video is deleted she still can talk publicly about the situation.
So, we are going up and down ... and we never know where life will take us.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Homo... Hetero...
Does not really seem to be the point to me. Getting wasted and doing stupid stuff is more the problem.
I have heard women share at meetings about how they slept with people when wasted or for drugs. Not good.
Just another reason to stay sober.
Does not really seem to be the point to me. Getting wasted and doing stupid stuff is more the problem.
I have heard women share at meetings about how they slept with people when wasted or for drugs. Not good.
Just another reason to stay sober.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Dee,
Can we shut this thread - Vino, there are some take aways from your contributions that are pretty tough for me to get out of my head and I'd be so grateful if you'd ask it be removed. I respectfully ask you to request that of the mods.
I consider you a friend and would try to help you but one thing my program AA asks is the use of tact and discretion. I still don't see that truly being embraced here. You are hitting on a lot of issues that readers may be in pretty rough situations about like finding out their bf has been cheating with another man, to say the least.
Respectfully,
A
Can we shut this thread - Vino, there are some take aways from your contributions that are pretty tough for me to get out of my head and I'd be so grateful if you'd ask it be removed. I respectfully ask you to request that of the mods.
I consider you a friend and would try to help you but one thing my program AA asks is the use of tact and discretion. I still don't see that truly being embraced here. You are hitting on a lot of issues that readers may be in pretty rough situations about like finding out their bf has been cheating with another man, to say the least.
Respectfully,
A
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 82
Dear Dee,
please be so kind and shut down this thread. It appearently upsets some users.
I did not take any step towards "resolving" this situation. I will stick to your suggestions.
Thank you again and .. I am really sorry to put this out.
please be so kind and shut down this thread. It appearently upsets some users.
I did not take any step towards "resolving" this situation. I will stick to your suggestions.
Thank you again and .. I am really sorry to put this out.
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