Dee74

They're not sure if you can catch it twice because its so new but the things I've read and seem suggest its unlikely.

D

BeckoningCat

Sassy - I hope you are well. Take care.

Stayingsassy

If you catch the mild form, you can still catch the severe one; according to some preliminary reports.

I was in bed until 3pm, just feeling like a truck hit me. Body aches and fever. Still no respiratory issues, though.

I feel lucky I will be tested. Being tested is like striking gold here in the US, I feel like I just randomly came upon this test and somehow randomly got approved. It’s very hard to get tested in this country. New York is finally doing 16,000 a day but it’s a day late and a dollar short: poor New York.

Then, to get my hands on an N95 somehow so I can feel less anxious about returning to work. So many lies and half truths from our so called experts: I just want to do what makes sense now, not what people say is ok to do. For example, if I am assessing a patient with six inches between my face and his/hers, and I have no idea of this patient’s infection status, is that safe without a mask? Logic tells me no.

My daughter has a couple of N95’s she found at her apartment, I will DIY sterilize them and try to do some DIY fit testing as well.

And that’s the state of healthcare in America, yes, it’s that bad.

Dee74

I'm glad you're not too ill Stayingsassy.

D

fini

wishing you all the best, Sass, for a negative result.

Stayingsassy

Thanks fini and all.

I just have an alcoholic’s crazy brain during this crazy time.

I’m not a calm person in general.

I’m less worried about being sick, more worried about how to deal with work. I don’t want to lose my job, but I don’t want to give my life to the job either, and I don’t want to be the person who doesn’t rise heroically to the occasion in the time of need, but I have a family at home, too.

It’s complicated when you can’t do “hashtag just stay home.”

Pandemics do not come along more than once in a blue moon. And all the people who are supposed to be calm, collected, smart, offering guidance, telling the truth: are all basically just protecting their own interests. I have to wade through it all and measure my commitment with the possible regret from my future self, and it’s tough with a fever and all this fatigue.

I suppose I just make decisions a few days at a time.

Thanks for listening.

Dee74

I think your priority right now is getting better Sass. All the rest will follow.

D

Cosima11

I'm so sorry to hear you're sick Sassy. Hoping it comes back negative and you have a fast recovery. Of course I’d say protect yourself, your health, your family’s health before the job.. But I understand it probably is very complicated in your position, doing something highly necessary.. I think if your symptoms get any worse your body will know if/when it's just not physically feasible to go in. Plus it's true fever and fatigue can definitely mess with the ability to think straight. At times when I was sick in january I felt literally intoxicated or impaired. The case could be made it's hard to help anyone else in that state..

entropy1964

Oh Cow your threads are always engaging....I'm just glad you started a new engaging thread!

I have two very separate ways of thinking : One is cognitive...that analytical, often pessimistic, rarely emotional, observational side. Then the emotional side which is exactly the opposite. And never the twain shall meet....which is part of my overall problem. The recovery side of me is very cognitive, and the drinking side is very emotional. Somehow I feel the 'gold' if you will is in bridging these two very separate departments of my brain. But I've never succeeded. I protect myself in the cognitive side....hence my often cold, black and white kind of perspective. But that isn't the whole picture. The emotional side is simply too scary for so many reasons. I love me some humans every now and again. But mostly I'm best on my own. And I'm not different than any other Sapiens. Greedy, selfish, fearful, ignorant...blah blah. I try to balance that by being aware of it....but there's some kinda base thing going on there. Don't live with nature, dominate it. Somehow me thinks we will lose that battle.

Sassy, I can only imagine the conundrum you find yourself in. And the media just loves to display the selfless first responder, and we all think, wow aren't they amazing, glad its not me. Ok maybe not all of us, but if I'm honest, that would be me. I said that in another thread. You take care of you. And you owe your family that. They need you. I hope you are feeling better soon.

I was thinking yesterday while walking my dog with my kiddo, not seeing a single soul any closer than 50 yards away, that folks in NYC have no choice but to be close. Many cities in Europe are the same. I remember standing in line at Versailles and being amazed at how close everyone stood. Like, back up a bit I can smell your breath, kinda close. Its just what folks are used to. I have a bubble of like 2 feet at all times. I get really pissy if someone steps in the bubble. Would not make a good city girl.

Drinking has been entering my thoughts more, in really unsettling ways. Like, I should just have a bottle, ya know, just in case. Like break in case of emergency. Really? Really. Jesus. HELL NO. That is a hard pass. And I know it won't help even a little. Crazy crazy. And I will end up in an ER. Or in a closet somewhere with an IV drip because they have no beds. Or in some psych ward. I can't believe my mind is messing with me like this. I told some close friends (yeah I have some...haha....even if they don't live anywhere near me. Yay) and that helps.

Mom moved back in with dad in the 'better' home. No one was allowed to go in but I heard the reunion with Dad was full of tears and love. I am hoping that connection, while weird at this point because neither has a clue what is going on, will help her recover from her stroke. She is wheel chair bound, all droppy faced, incontinent and has trouble swallowing. Poor Mommy. She was such an evil lady growing up. I wish that evil woman were still here. She'd kick this strokes ass. But she is now just a helpless angry 2 year old. Its not fair. Never thought I'd see her like this. The universe is cruel.

Ok, book concluded. Love to you all!

fini

Sass,
here, you would not be allowed under any circumstances to go to work in healthcare when you are ill.
don't know if that is not so where you are?
so... imo these are two seperate concerns: the getting well, and then later the decision about going in to work.

fini

entropy, someone put it this way about that bottle-to-have-around-just-in-case: the one sure thing.

sure thing of what???

Stayingsassy

Oh man. I’m at the “just one beer when this all blows over” stage.

Like why in hell am I fighting alcoholism so hard while the world and my world, crumbles around me.

biminiblue

"one beer." "one bottle."







You've heard of quacking, right? Tell that AV to take a long walk off a short pier.

This is from Friends and Family, so be forewarned. Part 1 of 4:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-quackers.html (QUACKERs....)

Hawkeye13

If you are really thinking of drinking, you had better call in sick.
Sobriety has to come first. How many times have you posted that to remind yourself and others Sass?

Cow

Hello Kittens, well, it's eerie here. Cuz we don't have a lot of cases....yet. But everybody is preparing for doomsday with the groceries and the toilet paper and the entire city closing up shop. It's like, we're all in the bomb shelter waiting for the bomb. When will the bomb get here? Today? Next week? Next month? But if we all stay in the shelter, there might not even be a bomb. But then when is it safe to come out of the shelter?

I take an hour long walk every day and feel like an ass crossing to the other side of street when someone comes toward me. Sometimes it's like a game of chicken. Cuz if I am on the shady side, I don't want to cross into the sun. I have super pale skin that burns quickly. So I don't. And we get closer and closer! OMG! Who's gonna veer off?! 50 Feet! Hold your ground, Cow! 40 Feet! Set coordinates for evasion, but wait for my mark. Shields up! 30 Feet! Then, they veer! YES! I am victorious over the enemy contagion without having to get sun damage! Woo hoo!

Sass, hope you are feeling better each day. Remember...there is no situation that alcohol can't make worse.

BeckoningCat

People in LA are good at personal space. I never had an experience where I felt crowded by people (except for like rush hour on the subway or if a bus broke down). The streets are wide, the sidewalks are wide, it was built out instead of up, such a relief. It's the only city I could ever live in again. Even San Francisco/Berkeley don't have the same feel for me, though there are things about Berkeley I do like. Oakland is horrible, the hipsters can have it.

BeckoningCat

Next to the laundry mat near my house there's a cafe that doubles as a convenience store, it's cute and quaint though overpriced. I stopped in there yesterday for the first time in two days. I didn't buy anything, I just walked around in awe. They turned off the lights (there are big windows) and opened their beer coolers (the fridges were turned off on that side of the store) "to save power." They moved all of their convenience items (bananas, chips, toilet paper, pasta) to the tables where people usually sit in the cafe to pull the merchandise away from the wall so people wouldn't crowd together. The clerk seemed more tense than usual. There were literally two customers in there, one of whom seemed to be a lost elderly man. I felt the zombie apocalypse vibes, just two days after having been in there.

The grocery store was more "normal." There were less people spaced apart, but still shoppers. There were temporary hand washing sinks set up and all the cashiers were wearing gloves, but otherwise it seemed the same, like a slow weekday afternoon.

I still wiped everything down when I got home.

Bubz

I feel like a bit of an ass crossing to the other side of the street too, Cow. I guess everybody gets it.

I have been watching from the other side of the world how Cuomo and De Blasio are leading the people of New York during this crisis. I shed a tear or two just witnessing the amount of deep caring, strength, courage and resilience they're showing. I read this morning the fed govt are sending some supplies. I hope that's a trend that continues. We are in total lock down down under in New Zealand and everybody is relieved about that, although it brings its own set of very real stressors. The govt is assisting financially. I think the hardest thing - as you mentioned, Cow - is not knowing when this will all end, or how.

Much love to you guys in the U.S. xxx

courage2

^^^ For people in the city, De Blasio & Cuomo are acting like super-asses. De Blasio wants to be a star progressive man of the people -- like I guess when he sweated over a public gym a week ago, and responded to his critics "I think this is just a perverse reaction, honestly." Cuomo hates the city and always has. He's never lived here -- check out this house-for-sale in his town -- 3,500 square feet of prime '50s moderism.


Cuomo called us disgusting and arrogant just the other day. When this is all said and done, my guess he'll tear state funding for public services right out of our hearts.

We're dealing with it fine. But I have no sympathy for Cuomo or De Blasio or those folks with fancy vacation homes and suburban relatives, who are fleeing the city -- disease vectors every one. As they pump their gas, they're contaminating someone else's local gas pump, and so on and on in a ghastly chain.

Sorry to rant. No I'm not sorry.

Stayingsassy

It’s still way way back there in the lizard brain, right now. Don’t worry people. Just thoughts. Not considerations. I’ve been off work for days. Chilling at home spending too much time online.

Omg. I wish I could adequately describe the scene at the fairgrounds where I got my county test. Full gowns, shields, respirators, security, police, stations where I showed ID through the window, a woman in full PPE trying to describe what she was about to shove all the way up my sinuses, but didn’t know the name of it, and I was too tired to say, “it’s a swabstick.”

Just wanted it over with! Really weird, eerie, strange times we are in, I felt like I was in the scene of a movie.