90 Days Sober
 

It is 90 days today since I had that last drink. Just a couple of days short of three months and only ten days short of a hundred. It doesn’t sound like much, I know, but it’s the longest I’ve gone without booze since I started drinking again almost seven years ago now.
There’s been plenty of times since December 12th of last year when I’ve really craved a drink, but I’m glad to say that so far, I’ve come out on top; beaten the AV and beaten the booze. Perhaps because I was psychologically more “prepared” this time around; maybe it was my body telling my brain that it’s make-or-break time. Keep drinking and die time, or stopping the madness I’ve been - literally – drowning myself in. Or maybe living with two hard-line alcoholics and imagining myself wallowing in the same alcohol-sty with them each and every day with no end in sight; drunk and hopeless… Maybe my financial situation contributed. Or maybe it was God who listened and this time, really helped. Maybe it was a combination of some of it, or all of it; I don’t care because it worked, and it still does.
Also, even if it is just 90 days - and please bear with me because some of it is copy – paste from a previous post of mine – it is 90 days in which, apart from the money I’ve saved, I’ve also saved myself from:
• Drawing a curtain back over my brain and again living in a drunken daze most of the time…
• Throwing up almost every day…
• Waking up a dozen times a night – to either go to the loo or because I’m wet with sweat or because I had (another) bad dream or because I’m thirsty (again); then lie awake for hours or have another Scotch with tepid water at three in the morning, and another, and another…
• Having blood in my stool most mornings…
• My body feeling like a hundred-year old’s, tired and blotchy and itchy and ugly…
• An alcoholic red face…
• Nose-bleeds and easy bruising…
• Headaches and muscle-aches and stomach-aches and joint-pains and cramps…
• Dry and bloodshot eyes…
• My liver hurting all of the time...
• Spending less on food and eating less…
• Taking slow walks to the shops at a quarter to nine every morning, so I’ll be there at nine, when the Liquor Store opens…
• Swearing and spewing hate and racist c*** with my dad again, and pass out at seven or eight each night…
• Lying about the amount I drink – even to my dad and stepmom, and hide my empties again, like stepmom does...
• Lying about a lot of things, including my finances, which I’ll see getting worse each day; which is why I’ll just drink more – and lie more – so I can forget more…
• Being grumpy, ill-tempered, short of fuse, miserable, moody and forgetful…
• Being worried about things I said - and things I forgot I said and/or did the previous day and night…

It’s early days, I know. But what I also know, is that I will get to a hundred. After that, I’ll just let each day take care of itself, then each week and each month and then hopefully each year. All of it one day at a time…:thanks

Great job!!! Keep going!

I think you’re doing great! Remember to add being a reliable, loving caretaker of your two pups to your list of “sobriety gains”.

Thanks, Hawk, for always being such a nice person. It counts when and where it matters most, believe me. :tyou

Congrats on 90 days.

I think you're saying that you've made positive progress on all of those negatives in your drinking life in just 3 months? That's actually incredible, and a huge bonus for your health and sobriety. Congratulations! Good things are coming your way!

Absolutely awesome. Tell us all how much better you feel for it!!

90 days is a great start - congrats :)

D

That's truly amazing. RB! :You_Rock_
Everything you have already managed to achieve just proves that you can do anything you put your mind to and that you have gained so much strength overall! Cant wait to see more updates :)

That's huge! Well done. It's a good sign of things to come; I know I've stayed sober since passing that milestone for the first time last year.

90 days - something to be so proud of, Rock. That is an excellent list, & I can relate to most of those things you've been saved from. :)

Congratulations!

Well done!

Well done. That's a fantastic milestone.