Stayingsassy

Ha! Lucky wife, happy life? Lol (lil twist on words).

I did much the same when I gave up the carbs from 2015-2017, there was a lot of booze, sure...but I became very focused on the husband. He got used to that and then he had to adjust after I got sober.

What it must be like to be married to an endorphin junkie ping ponging from one obsession to another? I’d say: not boring.

Stayingsassy

Yeah. I told my mother “not to worry about it” but I’ll be taking a short hiatus anyway, without getting into things with her further.

Ok, so now some diet talk. Dairy. Well, I noticed it makes me congested, tired and headachy, then I noticed when I put it in coffee I’d have heartburn all day, and the heartburn was nonexistent with the same coffee and almond milk.

During my two year keto experiment, I’d go through weight stalls or start to gain again and nothing worked except dropping dairy from my diet.

Then I’d do paleo stints where I’d drop a ton of inflammation weight very fast but on keto weight loss was slow.

So I figured my body was reacting to dairy, and it’s true: the weight pours off quickly when i take it out of the diet along with grains. It comes off at a rate faster than fasting even with calories higher than usual, which shouldn’t be the case but it is. I replace it’s use as an accent or condiment with avocado or coconut cream, which works well with certain dishes. I make a lot of Indian or Thai curries, I live in California and we have ethnic groceries everywhere so there’s nothing I can’t find. It takes some creativity but there is actually no loss in food or recipe quality with a little imagination.

entropy1964

I have no real guidance because I struggle with all this too. Mightily. I'm going through this massive remodel, have no access to a kitchen, so its all take out (bleck). And I've just been allowing myself some sweets at night because I just feel like it. haha. The only thing that saves my waist line right now is I only eat once a day. Why? I dunno. It's just easier and it seems to work. I'm 30 days into this remodel. Probably 2 weeks until the downstairs is completely done and I'll be able to cook. Fingers crossed.

For me I think it boils down to dopamine. Alcohol addiction screws up normal dopamine release. Sugar takes care of that problem. If I cut out sugar completely, I crave booze (or just crave something). I used to over exercise, which my younger body could handle. This would help with the feel good hormone issue. Now I can't. But I have found that regular (like daily), challenging yoga with a fairly long (5 minutes is long for me) shavasana at the end really helps balance the brain chemicals. This helps calm my nervous system. Walking the dog. But nothing too excessive....actually just increases my appetite 10 fold.

Blah. Just babbling. Its hard. I've found the 'lagom' approach of 'just enough' to be a good one. Just enough exercise, just enough treats. Just relax it'll all work out. Try to stop launching myself from one 'program' to the next. Just be. Learn to be hungry too. That probably isn't a popular thing to say. But let myself just be comfortable with being empty.

Yadda yadda. My daughter was chubby when she was younger. She is skinny now but does fight it. My mother tortured me about my weight when I was young...forcing me to stay in my room during dinner, not buying me clothes unless I lost weight etc. I refused to do that to my daughter, or anything close. I just tried to set an example. Jesus, she was just a kid. Does she have to be hot at 15? Hell no. Cluck all that crap. It'll work out.

Stayingsassy

Yeah. One meal a day: I’ve done that. . Works pretty well. I’m really focusing on my addiction to sugar right now first and foremost.

WTF with moms and frigging weight head trips, effing us up for life??? WHAT THE FLUCK.

My older two daughters are slender AND it’s not from anorexic or ED behavior either, they just figured out how to eat, regularly and sanely, in a way that doesn’t cause weight gain. They were chubby as children and early teen years too.

My youngest, oy. Since getting sober she has suffered from my sugar binging. She does what I do and I wasn’t able to hide it well. She gained too much. It’s why I was sobbing when my mom brought it up.

Still, I won’t do this to youngest. I simply won’t. She was eating weirdly for a couple months (like all bread, and “vegan” but with no nutrition) so my ONLY intervention is this: she has to eat lunch with all food groups, and she has to eat dinner with all food groups. Period. Lately I’ve been sending her with big sprouted wheat wraps full of salmon and vegetables and she eats it all! Win. Then she has an impossible burger piled with veggies on a wheat bun for dinner. Win. Real meals in that kid feels like a miracle. That’s it. No weight talk. No head trips. Just love, and focus on friends, school, creativity, her own sparks. I refuse to do this to her.

Callas

Yes it is so ironic. It is a lot easier to be skinny as a drinker. Weird, as all those alcohol calories are supposed to add up. But it does not.

Stayingsassy

Its a good example of how where the calories come from, matters.

I’ve known for a long time that I get fat in sobriety, after all I am 50, and I’ve had this problem since the age of 19. I know the drill.

That’s how you know life seriously sucked at the end of my drinking, that I would experience ANYTHING not to go through alcohol addiction again.

Stayingsassy

Update.

I’m tired, hungry a lot (so, eating a lot also) and very, very, very bored with my food. I don’t get the “hit” I’m used to with the food I’m eating.

No alcohol cravings.

9 pounds gone, in 7 days: eating three meals and many snacks a day. How, might you ask, does a person lose 9 pounds eating the same amount she did before? Inflammatory foods are a thing. It’s a weird concept I know, but it’s really a thing.

I’m still not exercising much. Next week I’ll go back to three workdays a week. Did I mention I’m hungry. Oh, and my family has weaseled me into making tuna casserole tonight.

For you Americans, you probably know what that is. For the rest of you, let’s just say it’s a giant bowl of starch (egg noodles) with processed soup, milk, tuna and cheese in it. It started with one daughter asking for it. Then my other daughter wanted it. Then my husband did too.

So now when I finish work, I am making something I’m not going to eat! Because I guess I love them, or something .

Stayingsassy

Craving whiskey.

Used to drink whiskey, with this diet, often in the springtime.

I can almost taste it on my tongue.

Posting for accountability.

Will I ever be free of the sugar-booze-sugar-booze cycle.

daisy1

Try and taste the stale taste of the whiskey tomorrow morning, and the terrible physical and mental effects. Can you eat and drink something nice now? Surely that's better than risking giving in to the craving?

Hawkeye13

Yes you will be free, but it will take some time.

That’s great about the weight loss, and I had to smell toasted cheese sandwiches my husband browned in butter for hours last night (a favorite childhood food for me)so I can relate to family sabotage

Yes, food becomes boring when we don’t use it for entertainment, pain management, or distraction. The obsession lasts and intensifies, definitely triggers alcohol cravings, but diminishes in strength and as a focal point. For me, it has taken 7-8 months to become more a nuisance than a fixation.

I quit weighing entirely except once a month which has proven a wise call. I have tons of inflammation to undo and that takes patience and sticking to plan. I actually got a glimpse of genuine lean rib cage beginning to show as I oh-so gradually downsize.

I feel sad in some ways losing my old pal food like I lost my old buddy booze, but the sense of freedom and an actual hope of regaining the lean strong body I once had without constant food monitoring has been worth the transition. It also has made staying off booze way easier as the sugar link was interactive with drinking alcohol and eating many carbs.

Stayingsassy

Thanks daisy and hawk. I feel like I’m dangling from a tightrope. I won’t drink. Im going to go plan something I can eat this afternoon.

The effectiveness of sugar in replacing alcohol in my situation is hard to describe because I know it doesn’t do it like that for everyone.

However, I can’t keep eating 3,000 calories worth of sweets five times a week.

With a rogue virus on the loose, eating well takes on another meaning as well.

daisy1

Can you have some complex carbs to satisfy you a bit? I like having a huge bowl of porridge, yes I put sugar on it but I think the porridge itself is a slower burner so the massive sugar hit doesn't happen as badly. I'm only 9 months sober and I'm also battling with food as a pleasure thing but I'm too scared to diet just yet, in case I crave alcohol.

Stayingsassy

It’s weird how scary it is!! Only one time in my entire life have I managed to get rid of both alcohol and sugar, it was a three month period after hospitalization with MRSA in 2007. I was scared straight for awhile until summer rolled around and I started booze again, I’ve never done it since.

Porridge is....oatmeal right? Oatmeal is a problem for me, I used to buy the steel cut in bulk and eat huge amounts...I have binge problems with it, to the point where if I reach for it in the store my older daughter takes it from me and says yeah that’s not a good idea, mom.

Whatever works for you is good, though, we all have to figure out what that means for each of us.

RecklessDrunk

I'm 45 and I've struggled with weight all my adult life.

Before I got sober, a little before my 42nd birthday I was on my own version of the south beach diet. I didn't drink during the work week and my diet and training schedule was insanely strict. Typically I could go months at a time without a mistake or only one or two. Going 11 out of 12 weeks like that would get rid of weight and allow me to drink on weekends. Trouble was sometimes drink would turn to coke/crack would turn to pills/heroin. Of course there were periods where I could not get through the work week without drinking. I am an alcoholic after all. For the most part though I managed to keep the weight off. It would be kind of funny, during the work week people constantly tempt me with donuts and pizza and are amazed at my will power not to eat garbage. I laugh and think to myself I just can't wait for that drink on the weekend, who would screw up this diet over a donut? If I'm gonna screw up its gonna be for a craft beer!

Now I'm on keto and intermittent fasting. I use caffeine to level off the hunger. I think this can get a little dangerous for the alcoholic. How's that go, hungry, angry, lonely, tired? I have to balance out not getting too hungry or too cranked up on caffeine.

Now I have one day a week for junk food and sugar. Many times, actually i guess every time, i over do it. It becomes like alchohol, i cant stop. Pizza, ice cream cakes, burgers, etc. and it makes me feel like garbage. Not nearly as bad as a hangover and it doesn't mess up my life like alcohol. The following day I fast all day, run 5 or 6 miles, continue to fast up to like 23 hours and only eat once, almost no carbs, maybe like 12 grams to 15 grams and mostly fiber. Then the 2nd day I fast another 23 hours and go to 2 meals a day the rest of the week.

I recently had a shoulder injury that kept me out of the gym for months (I made it worse trying to train anyway). I stuck to my diet though and still ran and never ate myself out of waist size 32 pants. In the old days this injury would be the green light to binge drink. No doubt I would've binge drank. No doubt I would gain literally dozens of pounds in a short time. Wouldn't miss work, or go drunk, but as soon as the work day was over..... The only running I would do would be hungover to try and get and grip of the anxiety!

Its not hurting me nearly as bad as active alcoholism but I'd probably be better off toning down the compulsive over eating a little bit. I love food though. I've even given people a detailed comparison of the joy of butter pecan ice cream to crack cocaine, how sometimes I just wanna clean out my checking account for butter pecan ice cream!

Stayingsassy

I see that you totally get it. I actually would love to do just what you’re doing: one day a week binge, but for now I have to take care of all the binges for two years that put this weight on me, so I’m putting that in the future.

The gym thing too: yeah. I put myself on a one month hiatus from the gym to tackle the food thing, the gym messes with my appetite. I LOVE the gym, so I’m holding it out as a reward in April.

I’m hoping I can learn to moderate food. I probably can’t. But like you I see clearly that it has less immediate damage to my life, long term the damage gets up there but it is clearly not as dangerous.

I just have trouble keeping it to one day. Once I have the food I want it goes on for weeks or months and then I’m in trouble again, I just need to learn to have it one day and move on.

daisy1

Porridge is oatmeal yes! I have the same binge problem with cereals that are rubbish - I ate an entire box of honey Cheerios yesterday. One thing I tried years ago was ' I can make you thin' by Paul mackenna. It really worked and I'm going to try it again I think.
What he does is get you to rewire the brain - there are strict rules, you HAVE to eat if you're hungry, you HAVE to eat what you want, you HAVE to chew slowly and you must stop the second you are full. You can start again ten minutes later if you want, but if you do this for a couple of days you start fancying what you need instead of what you aren't allowed. I was drinking when I did it and it actually stopped me drinking too strangely. Going to go out and buy it tomorrow!

PeaceManic

Hmm, I don't see this necessarily being the case with some imagination. Even on a. carb and sugar restricted diet, there's chili, mint, salt, lemon, all sorts of herbs and spices to make things interesting.

I've suffered quite bad excma all my life, so I really need to try this keto or carnivore diet. Sugar is the killer though, like for many of us. I intend to weane off, but considering skin disease is absent from most primitive tribes on particular diets, it's a no brainer really.

Cosima11

I think you have a great approach with this Sassy. I hesitate to comment as food hasn't been my main substitute (although the intensity of my sex/relationship addiction has definitely cooled down lately, and as interesting as that was.. I have to say I'm kind of glad).

But that's in essence what I did with sugar. First cut it out entirely, then had it only on holidays, which would turn into numerous days of course, then once a week.. now I can sort of eat it intuitively. I also don't crave it or get the same satisfaction out of it as I used to though.. as I've maybe re-trained my brain to view it differently.

I never used to understand what people were talking about when they said they loved the gym.. but I've been taking harder classes lately (pilates and "yoga sculpt") and have been experiencing a legit "high" from it. Just a couple times a week so I'm not worried about overdoing it, but still it helps even in small amounts. Sometimes I do feel like I could "get away" with a sugar binge afterwards though.. so I understand your wanting to take a break from that too.

Stayingsassy

Peace, I’m struggling with enjoyment of my food. It’s ok. I’m hanging in there. But boy, if you have some amazing recipes I’m all ears. Or eyes. Whatever the phrase is for the internet! Haha.

I’m fighting going back to 72 hour fasts. I get all lit up with the idea of the 72 hour because it means twice a week I eat anything and everything without the buildup of food sensitivity.

But this is a saner and healthier way to go about it so here I am, day 9: no sugar, dairy, grains or starches.

PeaceManic

I haven't as yet tbh, as i'm still transitioning into it. I'm going to buy a few paleo cookbooks too.

But I can see what would be the backbone of it for me will be - you can't go wrong with veg and/or meat stir fries with chopped garlic, ginger and onion as the base, with chili flakes etc. I'd eat tons of salad with different dressings, balsamic, white wine vinnegar don't have grains, and fresh herbs.

I'll have to get into all sorts of sauces and marinades for meat too, dijon mustard, mint sauce etc...