Bittersweet
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Santa paula,Ca
Posts: 40
Bittersweet
If feels great to know exactly what happened yesterday. It feels fantastic tonight I have to look at my phone first thing in the morning and think oh my God who did I text. I didn’t think I was gonna have to struggle last night but I really did think about it maybe if I just go to the store just one. First it was 11 then it was 12 and I told myself you only have two hours before you can go to the liquor store but thank goodness I
didn’t. Although I’m very happy today. I wonder if it’s going to always be like this? It’s really scary to Think I’m I going to constantly have to struggle. It’s really scary because I don’t want to be living on borrowed time until the next time I decide to be stupid. It’s Sunday but I’m fine because it’s like automatic for me I don’t even think about drinking. Friday and Saturday seem to be the ugly days for me. Although I’m extremely happy there’s a part of me that sad. Any thoughts?
didn’t. Although I’m very happy today. I wonder if it’s going to always be like this? It’s really scary to Think I’m I going to constantly have to struggle. It’s really scary because I don’t want to be living on borrowed time until the next time I decide to be stupid. It’s Sunday but I’m fine because it’s like automatic for me I don’t even think about drinking. Friday and Saturday seem to be the ugly days for me. Although I’m extremely happy there’s a part of me that sad. Any thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Colorado
Posts: 702
One day at a time. Well done on not drinking this weekend. I’m sad that I have an addictive personality, but I’m not sad to not be drinking. Read your first two sentences, and remind yourself of that awesome feeling. Have you addressed the underlying reasons/triggers for drinking? Perhaps that’s what’s causing your sadness?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Try not to think too far ahead justme - all you have to do now is stay sober today, then tomorrow...then the next day...
I did that and soon I had a string of days behind me and the kind of constant effort and thought gave way to second nature.
Its like learning to walk...big learning curve to start off with but we're soon running about everywhere
I did that and soon I had a string of days behind me and the kind of constant effort and thought gave way to second nature.
Its like learning to walk...big learning curve to start off with but we're soon running about everywhere
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
it’s interesting how your thinking-of-drinking is an automatic on/off, depending on the day. it shows how really it is “in your head”, and a big part is conditioned.
you can use that knowledge to your advantage.
re the concern about constant future struggle: nah, doesn’t need to be so!
keep reading here, see what folks are doing and what is “working” for those who are not in a daily struggle; see what they’ve done to get to that place.
and you already have times when “I’m fine because it’s like automatic for me I don’t even think about drinking”!
you can use that knowledge to your advantage.
re the concern about constant future struggle: nah, doesn’t need to be so!
keep reading here, see what folks are doing and what is “working” for those who are not in a daily struggle; see what they’ve done to get to that place.
and you already have times when “I’m fine because it’s like automatic for me I don’t even think about drinking”!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I couldn't have stayed sober without the support of other recovering alcoholics in AA. Maybe some people can successfully stop drinking on their own but I'm not one of them. The denial and rationalization voices are too loud for solo recovery. Big hug!
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