SoberTyger

Hey folks!
I'm 2,5 years sober, and over all I am doing very good in sobriety and I'm happy with my life.

Though one area of my life I've really been struggling with in sobriety is my work life. Before I got sober I was really unsuccessful at work due to my alcoholism, losing jobs and changing jobs a lot - often making mistakes, being afraid to take on responsibilities - being hung over, usually just trying to make it though the week avoiding difficult tasks and hiding away in the background - so I mainly just accumulated negative work experience.
After I got sober, work has still been a big struggle for me - the first job I got in sobriety I probably wasn't really ready for, I felt very stressed and often found it hard to focus and ended up doing a lot of small mistakes, so after a year I quit the job as it just didn't work out. Then I got a job I really liked but after just a few months I got a back injury that forced me to quit - after being unable to work for several months, I got back to work at a former employer, actually through doing my 9th step, but after about half a year the company hit financial trouble and had to lay off staff and I was again fired. - So even in sobriety I haven't had much success at work.

Now I have been applying for jobs, and I just got offered a job - I probably should be happy but I just felt this surge of anxiety and fear, and my gut feeling tells me not to go for it - I just can't tell if this is just an unjustified fear based on my own bad work experiences or if it's caused by me sort of sensing a few red flags about the job, that makes me unsure.. I really can't tell.

There was just something about the company or the guy that triggered a lot of anxiety in me - I know so well from my recovery I should avoid letting my life being ruled by fear - on the other hand, I kinda feel it could be a very bad move to accept a job that makes me seriously anxious even before I signed a contract! Even though I can't put my finger on what I feel is wrong with this job, I also have interviewed for other jobs before, that did not trigger any unusual fear within me.

Any of you guys have some good advice or similar experiences?

Dee74

Hi SoberTyger

the more sober time I have the more I learn I can trust my gut - so if you feel foreboding it's a good idea to try and isolate whether its a specific concern with this job/interviewer or just a general fear left over from your experiences as a sober worker so far?

D

NYCDoglvr

I can certainly relate. I learned to stop projecting, take action and let go of results (these things were driving me nuts). I kept reeling my mind back into the present, the only place I have any power. It's a process of recovery, we change our addict thinking. Congrats on 2.5 years!!!

Gottalife

Fear in its normal function is one of natures gifts and it helps keep us alive and safe from danger. Maybe work step 10, try to figure out where that fear is coming from. It may be self centered, or it maybe a warning from your natural defences.