Justme2016

Hevyn

Hi Justme. I did that often when I drank. I could never trust myself once the first drink was in my system. Giving it up for good was the only way to stay safe. I wasted so many years trying to use willpower to have 'just a few'. There was no control, and never a few - I always led myself into danger & regret. Quitting was such a relief - no more wondering what I said or did to humiliate myself. You can get free of it.

Dee74

Hi Justme

there's a forum full of people who want to help, support you, and share their experience with you to help you not drink - but we can't do that if you only post after you drink.

Post before. Let us talk you through it, and hopefully to a different outcome

What else are you doing to help you not drink?

D

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Justme. I tried to tell myself the same thing for years, but it never worked out. The solution for me was to unconditionally accept that I can never drink any amount of alcohol without consequence. And also to quit asking why - I simply had to accept it as a fact that can never be changed.

Once I did that, it got a LOT easier to start making positive change in my life. I hope you can find that peace too...and we are here to help.

doggonecarl

That's where you are tripping up.

Google AVRT and apply the techniques to resist that urge.

DayTrader

my last drinks were "moderate drinking." I don't remember how many but maybe 4 beers (I was a liquor drinker) over about 3 hours. I picked a guy in the bar and decided I could only drink as fast as he did. He was a normal drinker - a non alcoholic. Drinking THAT slowly made absolutely NO sense to me. I mean, I couldn't even come close to catching any kind of buzz. That experience taught me in no uncertain terms that being a "normal" drinker is not what I've ever wanted..... I wanted to be a crazy, massive amounts, no holds barred, over the top full blown alkie BUT have no consequences. Of course, those things don't ever go together. That experience taught me I don't reeeeally want to be a normal drinker - i "wanted" to be an alcoholic drinker but deep down I knew I couldn't handle that lifestyle anymore.

Our experience once we start to drink usually tells us pretty clearly what type of drinker we ARE. It may not be the type we want to be or wish we were, but there's no sense in denying our reality. Now that you've got some experimentation done and you've seen the outcome, at least you're acquainted with your own reality. Now, it's time to decide if you want to participate in that nightmare any longer.

Justme2016

AAPJ

Hi Justme, SR does have a guide to moderation. It can be found here.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...oderation.html (My guide to moderation)

Thanks again to lessgravity for putting this together!

jimmyJlover

I dedicated myself out of pity to quit drinking for 3months one time and was proud of myself but also too proud to admit it was a problem and knew for certain I could handle it again. So I had a few one night, but old behaviors crept up within 1 day or so. I continued drinking for the next 5 years and during that time had 3 stints where I didn't drink; 1 being 2 months, another 2 weeks, and the last being 1 week. During that time I spent the first 3 years convincing myself I could manage this problem. Similar to your post, I knew it was an issue already. But I felt I could handle it. The last 2 years I gave up and was not able to drink socially at all, not one single day, ever.

My story is no different than yours, the next persons, or whatever. I drank alcohol in the exact manner you post about. Exactly like that. I stopped though. And again, like many others I lean on people for support and discussions like this to build the fight against ever going back to that way of life.

It all started with a day 1...24hrs as they say in some recovery programs I guess. It might be cliche but it seems to help. Go 24hrs and re-read this post. Stay strong.

ciowa

I was a binge drinker who tried all kinds ways to moderate and control how I was drinking. To be honest it worked maybe 10% of the time but the binges got much worse and longer. So yeah, maybe there was the odd night where I went home before 2 am and passed out but the other 90% of time my drinking was spiraling out of control. By the end, I was drinking vodka non stop for days and it all started with that first beer I told myself would only lead to a few more before calling it a night.

I tried all kind of ways to get things under control. 3 years ago I did 2 months sober 3 different times in a year in an attempt to "reset" my "dry out". I did exercise programs, adjusted my sleep cycles, tried different diets, drank with different people in different places, ate meals at different times prior to drinking, after drinking, while drinking, etc. None of this matter.

I finally admitted to myself that there was never going to be a such thing as normal drinking for me anymore and that the best way forward was to stop entirely and get on a path to recovery. I've only been sober for less than a year but I have no delusions that I can ever go back to drinking in a controlled way. None. Those days are gone forever and I've accepted that. The good thing is I no longer have those black out times, regrets, depression, hangxiety and other nonsense. This life is much better. I still have ups and downs but not anything like the extremes of when I was drinking. Recovery is a better path for me. Good luc.

PhoenixJ

Welcome JM. SR is a wonderful place to grow in recovery. It has been a lifeline for me. Lots of wise words already written here. My support to you.