Bye pink cloud? Feeling cranky
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 43
Bye pink cloud? Feeling cranky
Did 7-day inpatient detox, now on Day 32. Have been so happy relieved grateful. I have a good, complete program in place.
Then starting about 3 days ago, suddenly having a lot of moodiness - irritable, inpatient, edgy. Early PAWS? Don’t feel at all tempted to drink, but just wish I didn’t feel so wound up...
I was in a desperate place just before detox, so of course there will be a roller coaster, and a lot of intention and work and patience will be required. But I welcome any comments or ideas or suggestions!
Then starting about 3 days ago, suddenly having a lot of moodiness - irritable, inpatient, edgy. Early PAWS? Don’t feel at all tempted to drink, but just wish I didn’t feel so wound up...
I was in a desperate place just before detox, so of course there will be a roller coaster, and a lot of intention and work and patience will be required. But I welcome any comments or ideas or suggestions!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
It will be a roller coaster yes, but cling to those natural highs when they come - and they will come - maybe try initiating them as often as possible with exercise and connection, the latter of which programmes like AA are good for. Otherwise just try to accept the feelings and be kind to yourself 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
It would be much easier if recovery was a straight line - but it's not
Just like we have good days and not so good days in life, so it is recovery.
Push though best you can - have faith that a good day is never too far way
D
Just like we have good days and not so good days in life, so it is recovery.
Push though best you can - have faith that a good day is never too far way
D
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,896
suddenly having a lot of moodiness - irritable, inpatient, edgy
Exercise may help.
When I do something physical, like run, bike, or play tennis and do it hard enough and long enough to work up a good sweat, my mood usually changes.
Exercise may help.
When I do something physical, like run, bike, or play tennis and do it hard enough and long enough to work up a good sweat, my mood usually changes.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
You could make contact with AA...meet up with a person at a meeting....go out afterwards for coffee. My moods and thinking change more positive when around others...helping them helping you.
Quickly inventory HALT: Hungry?Angry?Lonely?Tired? Take care of any of these before making decisions.
Quickly inventory HALT: Hungry?Angry?Lonely?Tired? Take care of any of these before making decisions.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Well done on 32 days Sunny 😎
Dee's picture pretty much sums it up.
Sometimes, very very occasionally, you see someone who has a ride that resembles the left arrow, lucky old them huh ?
The vast majority of us get the right hand picture though, so ya know, it is what it is.
It was the first year for me. It's a rollercoaster, so strap yaself in.
It's a marathon not a sprint.
Postpone any other issues and focus on sobriety, there's going to be plenty of time to fix up all the other little things.
Exercise is a good idea, just try to avoid that "all or nothing" thinking that can plague folks like us.
Dee's picture pretty much sums it up.
Sometimes, very very occasionally, you see someone who has a ride that resembles the left arrow, lucky old them huh ?
The vast majority of us get the right hand picture though, so ya know, it is what it is.
It was the first year for me. It's a rollercoaster, so strap yaself in.
It's a marathon not a sprint.
Postpone any other issues and focus on sobriety, there's going to be plenty of time to fix up all the other little things.
Exercise is a good idea, just try to avoid that "all or nothing" thinking that can plague folks like us.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
Dee's picture is accurate. Exercise is good, but start out slow if you aren't used to it. Find something to do like volunteering. This is a process and sometimes you will feel like you aren't getting better, but you slowly are.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,282
A shift in relationship with reality.
If there is a thinking that pleasant feelings are good and desirable then when inevitably they pass away there is lamentation. A wanting that things are different from how they truly are. This becomes a habitual inability to accept.
If there is a thinking that unpleasant feelings are bad and undesirable then when they inevitably arise there is lamentation. A wanting that things are different from how they truly are. This becomes a habitual inability to accept.
If there is a thinking that feelings are ephemeral phenomena, constantly changing there is serenity. A habitual acceptance that things are the way they are.
Things are the way they are because of actions of the past. The way things are in the future is determined by actions of the present.
If you are to experience pleasant tastes in the future, which may very well be in the immediate future, then perform pleasant tasting actions. Make the person you are with in the moment, yourself or other, the most important person in the world. Cater to their needs. Care for them, yourself, in a good way. Practice being virtuous, which includes abstaining from all kinds of intoxicants. Abstain from killing, stealing, lying and all kinds of sexual misconduct. In this way you create a future without remorse.
If there is a thinking that pleasant feelings are good and desirable then when inevitably they pass away there is lamentation. A wanting that things are different from how they truly are. This becomes a habitual inability to accept.
If there is a thinking that unpleasant feelings are bad and undesirable then when they inevitably arise there is lamentation. A wanting that things are different from how they truly are. This becomes a habitual inability to accept.
If there is a thinking that feelings are ephemeral phenomena, constantly changing there is serenity. A habitual acceptance that things are the way they are.
Things are the way they are because of actions of the past. The way things are in the future is determined by actions of the present.
If you are to experience pleasant tastes in the future, which may very well be in the immediate future, then perform pleasant tasting actions. Make the person you are with in the moment, yourself or other, the most important person in the world. Cater to their needs. Care for them, yourself, in a good way. Practice being virtuous, which includes abstaining from all kinds of intoxicants. Abstain from killing, stealing, lying and all kinds of sexual misconduct. In this way you create a future without remorse.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 43
Thanks so much for so many great ideas and suggestions. I do also have support at several different meetings... but I love this site, and appreciate hearing from people here.
And Dee, Lol at the diagram. Perfect!
And Dee, Lol at the diagram. Perfect!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Originally Posted by Dee74 
It would be much easier if recovery was a straight line - but it's not
Just like we have good days and not so good days in life, so it is recovery.
Push though best you can - have faith that a good day is never too far way
D
Just like we have good days and not so good days in life, so it is recovery.
Push though best you can - have faith that a good day is never too far way
D
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
Originally Posted by Grymt
A shift in relationship with reality.
If there is a thinking that pleasant feelings are good and desirable then when inevitably they pass away there is lamentation. A wanting that things are different from how they truly are. This becomes a habitual inability to accept.
If there is a thinking that unpleasant feelings are bad and undesirable then when they inevitably arise there is lamentation. A wanting that things are different from how they truly are. This becomes a habitual inability to accept.
If there is a thinking that feelings are ephemeral phenomena, constantly changing there is serenity. A habitual acceptance that things are the way they are.
Things are the way they are because of actions of the past. The way things are in the future is determined by actions of the present.
If you are to experience pleasant tastes in the future, which may very well be in the immediate future, then perform pleasant tasting actions. Make the person you are with in the moment, yourself or other, the most important person in the world. Cater to their needs. Care for them, yourself, in a good way. Practice being virtuous, which includes abstaining from all kinds of intoxicants. Abstain from killing, stealing, lying and all kinds of sexual misconduct. In this way you create a future without remorse.
If there is a thinking that pleasant feelings are good and desirable then when inevitably they pass away there is lamentation. A wanting that things are different from how they truly are. This becomes a habitual inability to accept.
If there is a thinking that unpleasant feelings are bad and undesirable then when they inevitably arise there is lamentation. A wanting that things are different from how they truly are. This becomes a habitual inability to accept.
If there is a thinking that feelings are ephemeral phenomena, constantly changing there is serenity. A habitual acceptance that things are the way they are.
Things are the way they are because of actions of the past. The way things are in the future is determined by actions of the present.
If you are to experience pleasant tastes in the future, which may very well be in the immediate future, then perform pleasant tasting actions. Make the person you are with in the moment, yourself or other, the most important person in the world. Cater to their needs. Care for them, yourself, in a good way. Practice being virtuous, which includes abstaining from all kinds of intoxicants. Abstain from killing, stealing, lying and all kinds of sexual misconduct. In this way you create a future without remorse.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Yep, my process was up and down for sure. I recall just getting MAD at a few points- like, at the sunshine. Not making that one up. Completely irrational. I also know that getting used to identifying what I was actually feeling, and also the biggie of "just being ok" were huge lessons.
32 days and a solid program are awesome! Keep going. Oh- another thought, the book Living Sober is a really good read about what the first yr experience is like.
32 days and a solid program are awesome! Keep going. Oh- another thought, the book Living Sober is a really good read about what the first yr experience is like.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,282
Originally Posted by Briansy
This is beautiful stuff. Always enjoy your contributions Grymt. I hope those principles are ones that give you a peaceful life
Thank you Briansy. Yes, these are fundamental principles. They may appear counterintuitive in a world that so values self and possessions. In other words attachments to self and things. Identity and ownership. What I'm suggesting is that the happiness aspired to remains elusive because of these attachments. Happiness becomes something pursued.
.
.
When the ephemeral, phenomenological nature of these selves and things is realised. When by direct personal experience (meditation) the impermanent, fleeting, nature is seen, there is a relaxation and letting go and by that letting go happiness naturally arises. Just like the habit to stay unaware of these truths is deeply ingrained and reinforced the habit of becoming aware is gained by gradual personal training which is where the importance of persistence and paitence comes in. There is no magic.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Landing amongst a group of people who were welcoming, friendly and also appeared to have a solution to my problem gave a pretty good feeling, something like a pink cloud, except I now think of it as a free sample of God's grace.
I had plenty of emotional ups and downs and a lot of confusion as in many ways I wouldn't have known an honest emotion if I fell over it. But I got busy straight away with the AA program, and the results was that regardless of the emotional bumps in the road, I was possessed of an ever deepening feeling that I was on the right track. That feeling quickly surpassed the pink cloud stage and has remained with me no matter what else has been going on.
I often think that if I was return to that original pink cloud, it would be quite a let down on what it is like today.
I had plenty of emotional ups and downs and a lot of confusion as in many ways I wouldn't have known an honest emotion if I fell over it. But I got busy straight away with the AA program, and the results was that regardless of the emotional bumps in the road, I was possessed of an ever deepening feeling that I was on the right track. That feeling quickly surpassed the pink cloud stage and has remained with me no matter what else has been going on.
I often think that if I was return to that original pink cloud, it would be quite a let down on what it is like today.
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