BullDog777

So, I've been trying to manage a bit of anxiety through this whole sobriety journey and most days I fall flat on my face.

I've done a lot of therapy and exercise and meds, but nothing really scratches the problem. Exercise comes the closest, but I'm getting a bit obsessive with it at the moment and my joints are punishing me. I feel like ibuprofen has become one of the 4 food groups. It sucks getting old.

So I finally found a medication that works but there's 2 down sides, It makes me shake a bit and I need a steady hand to paint and there's a sexual side effect that is unacceptable.

So, I'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can help the anxiety problem, but then I can't do 2 things that I really depend on for happiness . So WTF??

My doctor is frustrated, so am I. I'm running out of options and it seems like this may be something I just have to stop trying to "fix" and just address the symptoms as they come, daily.

The only drugs that really worked well were benzos and I punched my last benzo ticket 10 years ago....not doing that s#it ...EVER. EVER. again.

Sleep evades me, I'm grumpy a lot if I can't catch up and because of that, I heal alot slower ....so working out constantly is getting to be a bit much.

I'm writing this for me...it helps me get the frustration out. I've been trying to sleep since 10...it's now 1am.

I realize the severity of my problems today, pale in comparison to that of 4 years ago, but it still sucks to be in them. Maybe this is just something I have to learn to manage.

This week...I took my dad to the oncologist ...with his tremors, that was terrifying but I did it anyway. It's like taking a drunk toddler to a store full of sharp corners. That's the best way I can put it. Good news...no more skin cancer.
I lost one of my best friends. He tried to offer my cousin money to have sex with her. She told me and I sent him a message. He won't do that again. He's out of my life for good.
My wife's aunt died today. They were close. She's gotta fly out to vegas to handle her affairs. My wife is a slight mess right now. That's a lot. Maybe I'm handling anxiety better than I thought.
Four years ago any one of those things would have resulted in a huge bender. So ...to all the new people...that's progress. It does get better.

I'm done rambling. Thank you.

Hawkeye13

I can’t take meds either due to side effects BD.

I’m not naturally “woo woo” but I found great relief over time with yoga and meditation practice. Lots of emotional energy is actually “stored” in the body. Accessing, feeling, releasing it is worth doing.

Modified poses using chairs and other props make it accessible to anyone.
Give it a serious try of at least two months if other options aren’t working.
We all have to co-exist in our meatsuits, after all. . .

ClarkGrizwold

Have you tried Celexa? I have tried many others as well and i have had the best luck with it. ask t start with a small does and work your way up. Good luck man and keep plugging on !!

ManInTheArena

I'm with you on the hate for anxiety, BullDog, and sorry you are struggling to find relief. Along the lines of Hawkeye13's recommendation, there is increasing evidence that spending time in the sauna mimics many of the health benefits of exercise - and may provide an alternative to the physical downside of hitting the gym that some of us have to deal with. I would think hot yoga could provide similar results. Just something to check out.

Best of luck - you've got a heck of a lot going on!! I got a little anxiety just reading the last bit of your post All good - have a great day!!

Ken33xx

Sounds like you've got a number of stressful events going on at the moment.

Last year my plate was completely full and much of it stressful including the death of my mother.

But I didn't make any of the situations worse and five months later I've regained my balance. What sobriety has given me is a reservoir of experiences... sometimes quite unpleasant which I got through without picking up a drink.

Or... in your case is anxiety something which appears out of the blue?

Anxiety which shows up regardless of what's going on in life?

Stayingsassy

Hey bulldog. Those are ****** side effects indeed.

I have the same side effects from medications but instead of shaking add flat affect, living in zombie land and then a fun one was, mania. No more meds.

You’ve recently lost a lot of weight, are you maintaining? Losing more? Sometimes, undereating will trigger anxiety, and it will also make exercise painful due to slow recovery. One thing you could do is make sure you’re eating in a way that recovers your body. It’s a bit tricky if you’ve had to fast to lose weight (I have to fast also) but you have to put back that protein. Count protein grams and when you do eat, pound it. Meat won’t give you as much as you think, sometimes you have to supplement if you’re trying to keep weight down but get enough. I’ve realized this recently that if I try to get enough with food I’ll gain weight so I supplement protein and it works to keep fat off but still recover after exercise.

If you’re working out a lot and undereating without getting what you need you won’t sleep. Body goes into “searching for food” mode and then, nothing heals either because we heal during sleep.

Try working that one kink out....nutrition....and see where you end up.

nez

Oh hell yes. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself some credit. I am a slow learner. I was the last one to know I was an alcoholic. I was the last one to recognize the progress I had made in recovery.

Cut yourself some slack and give yourself some credit. Kudos to you for progress made. Can't wait to hear about more. Helps to reinforce to me that recovery works if we work.

BullDog777

Ken,

Sometimes the anxiety does come out of the blue, but it's attached to ptsd.(something that happened to me as a kid) When that gets stirred up, I get really anxious and both can happen in seconds.

Hawkeye,

I've been told yoga would help a lot of my joint problems. It just looks so silly to me. I know the benefits....it's just ...man....the jokes that I could tell..... I need to get over my hangup with that. A buddy of mine came back from being deployed and got into it because he wrecked his back in Kandahar. He never got hit but carrying around a 100+lb pack for hours at a time effects almost everyone. A year after he got back, he weighed over 270. In 7 months, he lost 60 pounds and got into wicked good shape. Maybe I'll give him a call.


Exactly...I think. With the protein. If i eat what I need to heal, I gain. I should have considered the supplement. Good call. Thanks. I do tend to under eat nowadays and because of that I get grumpy and sometimes it does effect my sleep. I need to do better.

Stayingsassy

It sucks to be a “gainer.” I fast most of the day to keep my insulin levels down, I eat in like a 2-5 hour window and my body is just fine with that, it’s crazy. Some people would be starving and wasting on that kind of plan, not me! I even workout and lift on no food. I’ve discovered that it isn’t keto or what I eat, it’s just basically trying not to eat that works! I’ve heard you mention similar things.

I use melatonin often when I’m cutting like this. Have you tried it? Works great for me. I’m sure you’ve probably given it a try.

Hope it all smooths out for you bd.

BullDog777

The one meal a day was working soooo well for so long and I trashed my whole eating plan over the holidays. Now I roll out of bed ready to eat the a$$ out of a dead rhino. LOL....seriously though, i wake up famished.

It's just gonna be about resetting the plan...I just hate doing it because my sugar levels go nuts the first 2-3 days.

I picked up some protein powder today and I'm gonna hit the gym in the am to try to get a good workout goin. It's either that or a BIG chic-fil-a breakfast ...I gotta make better choices now that the holidays are over.

Cosima11

I really try to advocate for the benefits of hot yoga too.. but understand the initial impressions and experiences can be hard to get past. Not only does it look funny, it's also kind of gross being surrounded by a bunch of people sweating. But I promise you literally don't even notice after a while of doing it.

Although my insomnia has improved drastically I still occasionally struggle with it.. and definitely just with staying up too late in general. I've been listening to sleep hypnosis videos which sounds ridiculous at first but they've actually been working for me. If you look up "Micheal Sealey" on Youtube there are a bunch of different ones.

Stayingsassy

I LOL’d at your “@ss out of a dead rhino” comment....more than once.

I effing hate what sobriety did to my effimg metabolism, it’s unreal. So I just fast: which helps with mental clarity and workout, which I like doing, and then try to spend as little time eating as possible. So doing that, I went down like 5 lbs in a month. Lame.

I put on a lot of weight food binging recently, unfortunately, like 20 lbs in a month or so.

I gain weight so easily I could be one of those people who can’t get out of bed due to weight and I think that could happen in less time than I realize.

Sucks to be alcoholic, sucks to be a gainer, but happy to be alive, with my family healthy and still hanging in there with me.

Keep fighting that fight BD.

Vino88

Hi!

I wonder if anyone have this (retorical question, I guess) and how to cope with it.

Luckily I think I am pass my panic-attacks saga. I am not afraid of them anymore, I actually like them. It is like a challenge. What does upset me is that stiffness in my body (especially in my neck). When I talk to somebody on the street or in the meeting, my neck gets very stiff, my head twitches a bit and I can't make good eye contact. I also get somehow sluggish in my talking, I forget words and can't make good sentences, but luckily that does not bother me because I know that my social skills are totally ok. Also when I walk on the street I feel like my feet go one way or another, I am a bit disoriented and I am stiff, tight, tense ... hard to describe. :/

Sorry, maybe some opinions?

Vino88

BullDog77,

may I ask which medication they prescirebed you?

BullDog777

I've tried Trazodone, Citalopram, Venlafaxine, fluoxetine, and Buspirone.

Fluoxetine worked well, but gave me restless leg syndrome really badly. The side effect usually goes away, but i had it as long as i was on the medication.

Trazodone...wrong for me all around.

Venlafaxine works great, probably the best of them all but makes my hands shake. I'm an illustrator so I have to have very steady hands. Also had sexual side effects that were no good. Bummer.

Citalopram- worked well, but made my hands shake like the Venlafaxine.

Buspirone- hard to explain....it helped with the anxiety, but made me feel like i was going through alcohol withdrawal or having super low blood sugar.

I hope that helps. For me, the only other meds that ever worked for me were benzos. I loved them, but the withdrawal I wouldn't wish on anyone. For that reason, I'll never take them again. Been off those for over 10 years.

BullDog777

I'm very much the same way..a gainer all around. It blows.
I've been trying to jump start my fitness kick again, but feel like a wolf ate me up and s#it off the edge of a cliff.

Whatever is going around Virginia, I have it. In the southern part of VA, they closed down half the state's schools because of the flu outbreak.
I'm miserable today. Headache, body aches , stuffy everything, cough ...blech. No fun. I'm hoping this doesn't last more than a couple of days.

Stayingsassy

It’s not just Virginia: half my kid’s school is out it seems!

Use it as an excuse to lie in bed in a dark room, and binge watch Netflix?

And...did you read about my magic broth?? I keep posting it around here! I shortened my daughters viral URI by three days with it. It’s bomb. Use a pressure cooker if you have one, it’s faster. But it’s just bone broth, a whole onion, 20 garlic cloves, a few tbs of turmeric, some black mushrooms, and then I season with some other veggies. Strain and drink.

I swear I don’t understand how it works but it DOES. . Oh and fast with just the broth if you can.

Get well BD!

BullDog777

Netflix, for certain.

I just showed my wife your recipe and she's having whole foods come deliver the ingredients so i can have some tonight. It sounds yummy!

thanks!!

Stayingsassy

Oh then you and your wife have mastered convenience, good man. . Have her get whole cloves...not the kind in a jar.

Feel better and try not to infect the entire family

BullDog777

We have Amazon grocery. They deliver whatever you need within 2 hours. It's awesome!!!

On a side note...took Maggie out for a quick walk and saw my neighbor's roof was on fire. His chimney was shooting hot embers out of the top-my guess is because nobody had cleaned it in years. Got him and his family out and saw lots of fire trucks. I'm tired. That was too much activity for my sick a$$. I need a bed. Not too much damage...I think probably a new roof, but it could have been wayyyyyy worse.