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On day 6.. can anyone share their experiences please. Can’t shake the guilt. Hi everyone, I’ll try not to go on too much. I’ve joined in the hope I won’t feel so lonely. I’m 30 and have 3 children. Started drinking when I was 13 on weekends. Stopped during my pregnancies. Went through a phase of drinking everyday for 6 months when I was 25. Stopped again. Past year or 2 I’ve drank maybe once a month. But the problem is when I drink I drink to excess. Probably 70cl of rum in an evening. About a year ago I started experiencing severe pain during my hangovers which would last about a week. Also came intense itching. I had normal bloods come back in February last year. anyway at Christmas I said I wasn’t drinking anymore and I didn’t. Except Saturday just gone I had a binge - my partner insisted it would be fine even though I told him three times I didn’t want to drink because I can never stop until I pass out. he doesn’t really understand. Keeps saying I will be fine but I don’t feel it. I have bloods booked in for Monday so I know I can’t get medical advice here but I’m looking to hear other people’s experiences. Just so I don’t feel so alone in this I guess. mat the moment the pain has stopped but I still feel a little itchy. And nauseous. But I am wracked with guilt that I may die and leave my kids without me. I have never drank around them as I say I am a weekend binge drinker usually they are with family but they adore me and I adore them. I feel like I’ve let them down and I’m terrified of pancreaitis, or liver failure or even kidney disease. I’m not looking for diagnosis but hopefully reassurance? If anyone can help me I would really appreciate it. thank you |
I'm just over 3 months sober and I was a binge drinker on and off - more on than off! I'm in my 60's now and my drinking got a lot worse than yours. Recently I had my bloods done and everything was ok. I'm very lucky. I've experienced the itching too after drinking - I'm not a medical person but I assume it's something to do with the liver being overloaded as one of the symptoms of liver disease is itching. The good thing is that your bloods were normal last year so chances are, they are still normal if you don't drink. I don't know what the severe pain is though, I have no experience of that. I'd get it checked out if I were you - it might just be some sort of indigestion but best to make sure and get it sorted. Try not to feel guilty, but I completely understand, though it's a pointless waste of energy. |
Originally Posted by harriet11
(Post 7371489)
I'm just over 3 months sober and I was a binge drinker on and off - more on than off! I'm in my 60's now and my drinking got a lot worse than yours. Recently I had my bloods done and everything was ok. I'm very lucky. I've experienced the itching too after drinking - I'm not a medical person but I assume it's something to do with the liver being overloaded as one of the symptoms of liver disease is itching. The good thing is that your bloods were normal last year so chances are, they are still normal if you don't drink. I don't know what the severe pain is though, I have no experience of that. I'd get it checked out if I were you - it might just be some sort of indigestion but best to make sure and get it sorted. Try not to feel guilty, but I completely understand, though it's a pointless waste of energy. hi Harriet well done on your 3 months! Glad to hear everything came back okay for you. Yeah it’s a weird one with the pain, I convinced myself I had pancreaitis but calmed a little as the pain is subsiding each day. Then google advised me it goes away as the condition gets worse sometimes and I was back at square one. My anxiety is through the roof and even before I was a drinker from a very young age I was forever self diagnosing myself with life threatening Illnesses. Work is distracting me from it most of the time and thankfully I’ve been able to sleep and eat without vomiting so I’m keeping everything crossed my bloods will be ok and I’ll have another chance. Definitely never want to drink again! |
Hi, anotherchance, I've just been reading a reminder from Dee about medical advice and not giving it. I don't think I've given very good advice. Probably shouldn't assume things. Definitely go to your Doctor about the pain and tell them about the itching too, even if your blood results come back ok. The sooner the better and then you can deal with the anxiety. |
Don’t worry Harriet, I know nobody can give medical advice on here, I do have an appointment booked for bloods for Monday but can’t get in to see the doctor before that and unfortunately in the uk we have long waits in the A and E departments here. I was just hoping to hear other people’s experiences to give me a bit of hope. I wouldn’t assume one size fits all x |
There are conditions that specifically cause itching and pain after consuming alcohol so you do need checking out properly, a full examination of lymph nodes in particular. I'm sure you're fine, let us know what your next bloods show xx |
Welcome Anotherchance30, Welcome! Guilt is a horrible weapon this disease uses to keep you in it's grips. It will take a while to get a grip on in a see it for what it is, negativity trying to keep you drinking. At some point, there will be things you need to deal with, but right now, not drinking is most important. When you feel guilty, remember that you have a disease and try to forgive yourself for being sick. Remember, that as long as you are working on your recovery, you are no longer that person that you are when you drink. It will get easier, I promise. Just don't give into the guilt, it literally kills. It is always a good idea for a check up at your Doctor, and if you are really ready to quit, you won't mind telling them that you have a problem, once you say it out loud, it will be a huge burden lifted off your shoulders. It is scary to admit it, but admitting we have a problem is step one for a reason, once you put it put there, there is no taking it back. :hug: Hugs, Cathy |
I think guilt is a fairly common feeling in early recovery but I promise, it will lessen as you realize the positive action you're taking now. It helps to realize that feelings aren't facts: just because you feel the emotion doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong! What increases the odds to staying sober is a program like AA which offers tremendous support from recovering drunks who have been where you are. You just don't drink TODAY. That's it. Don't think about never drinking again (how do you know that?). No, you don't drink today. My last drink was in 1991 and I still don't drink today. Big hug! |
Welcome, AC. There are lots of actions you can take to help you on the recovery journey. Firstly- you are not alone. I felt so alone when my journey really began, and SR has been an anchor to my recovery. I have checked in daily for nearly 4years, bar a few times for power outages, etc. I joined the class of March '16 thread and check/share/support on it a lot. There is a Class of Feb 2020 group- why not join? It is in the Newcomer's forum. Meetings for face to face contact is great- no necessarily to share- but to listen to others who have experiences that remind us we are not alone. Regular checkups with my GP (and being honest- not just replying on what I think I should say) is a must for me- especially for my depression. A psychologist for sorting out the crap in my head- which is separate to sobriety, but sobriety means I can then address all the stuff that contributed to my boozing. Journaling, art, exercise, lots of water, rest, all are good too. Support to you. |
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