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One positive step taken in the right direction

Old 01-14-2020, 08:50 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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One positive step taken in the right direction

Hi all,

Returning member here. Haven't been on in yonks and have been having a little browse around some of the threads. Thought I'd drop by and fill everyone in with something.

Previously I used to think that being sober would be a binary choice of either being cooped-in bored lonely and depressed or going to bars not enjoying it. What I want to share is I've had EVIDENCE that this is not the case.

I've started going to meetup.com events. One I go to regularly is a pub quiz on a Monday night. Guess what, not drinking is EASY! Going out sober is easier than sitting at home forcing myself not to drink. The people at this meet mostly don't drink & stick to tea, & the venue does tea with free refills.

The thing is, a big part of what's fuelled my drinking has been boredom, social isolation and also being at a social dead-end. Not only single, but not getting the chance to mingle. You now that horrible trapped feeling that there's no doors open to meet new people? There is that sense of assurance of moving into a new social circle, that dead-ended feeling going away.

The main thing I wanted to report is, despite the meet being in a pub, I found it much easier not to drink than I do sitting at home in front of the telly painstakingly waiting for the off-license (liquor store) to close.

I wasn't madly craving it, I didn't deprived. There was a very minor sensation of wanting it, though it wasn't a big deal & died down surprisingly quickly. I found this to be easier than I thought.

I suppose it revolving around something other than drinking, conversations being interesting, company being decent, a feeling of moving forward, being in a reasonably quite low-stress setting.

For me, being at home is one of my most challenging situations (second only to Saturday nights). Sober socializing is part of the solution to the problem.
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Old 01-14-2020, 11:27 AM
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I'm very glad to hear that you've found a group/activity to participate in that you enjoy, especially where drinking is not involved. Thanks for providing the update and hope you can stick around and share with us some more.
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Old 01-14-2020, 11:31 AM
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Good for you. I am not there yet but hope to find what you have. Socialising sober is a big obstacle for me.
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