anxiousrock

Obladi

Hey anxiousrock,

No AA group or therapist worth their salt would ever dismiss a person who is concerned about their drinking, regardless of the frequency. Binge drinking and blackouts are always of major concern! Can you tell us more about your experiences with these folks that should be helping?

Sounds like your health anxiety might be debilitating right now. I'd urge you to get checked out - things are most likely not anywhere near what you are imagining.

O

Zebra1275

The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.

anxiousrock

Derringer

It's not about the frequency of drinking, it's what happens when you commence drinking.

From the big book of AA.

" If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little or no control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic"

Those ding bats in AA who prattle on about how they were "drunk around the clock, 24/7" are normally just chronic exaggeraters ... pay them no attention.

silentrun

I've seen SR members who were binge drinkers like you and they were getting outside help including AA. It's out there.

least

Your drinking is a problem and you want to stop. That seems simple enough. It isn't logical that you don't have a problem just because you don't drink every day.

I'd try other meetings until you can find one with some sensible people who want to help you get sober. Have you tried to find a sponsor to take you thru the steps? That's the whole program of AA - the 12 steps. The meetings are to introduce the newcomer to the program of AA.

Just because the therapist was part of a free 'work program' doesn't mean s/he can't be a good therapist. I saw a wonderful counselor at our local substance abuse agency for several years and it was no cost to me. I'd request a different therapist. That is negligent of the first therapist to dismiss your problem because you don't drink every day.

A bottle of vodka in one sitting is way too much. You're lucky you haven't had alcohol poisoning from drinking so much.

nez

When I first started going to AA, I didn't feel accepted or like I fit in; but then I had always felt that way my entire life.

No matter where I went or the situation, I was always looking at the differences, which I easily found and which fed my out of whack self esteem. I have heard it said that an alcoholic is a person who will look down on you from the gutter. That was me in a nutshell. I was always better than or less than you. Never just another human being trying to get by in life with what I had learned thus far.

In AA, I was taught to look for the similarities instead of the differences. When I did that the feelings of not being accepted melted away and I became part of for the first time in my life. I was no longer alone. I was in a room surrounded by people who were after the exact same thing that I was, to stop the pain and repair the damage caused by alcohol.

My drinking was causing me misery. I can't help but believe that the same is true for you. If that is true, we are the same. Go to AA. Look for similarities. The differences will melt away because they are not real anyway, merely a figment of the ego.

Obladi

anxiousrock,

I have to think there's more to the story here? Were you straightforward with the work counselor? When I went to my work counselor, they were sympathetic but didn't "help" because that's not their job - their job was to refer me to a number of professionals who could help me on an ongoing basis. It was then my job to arrange to meet with one or more of these people for a consult to determine if we could form a good working relationship. How did it go down with your work counselor?

What do you mean no one would take you seriously in AA? Are you saying you asked multiple women to sponsor you and they all turned you down? I guess because AA people are human, I could picture this happening once, but I'd be really surprised if it happened more than once??

Please tell us more so we can help you figure this out. You definitely belong in our "club."

O

anxiousrock

Dee74

Hi and welcome

Thee's a great spread of different types of drinkers here anxiousrock - we tend to focus on the commonalities here - I'm glad you found us.

anxiousrock

sortofhomecomin

I find this interesting. I personally never exaggerated my drinking in AA. If anything, I probably slightly understated it. One of the things I found off-putting about AA, actually, or at least the groups I was attending, was that some of them would spout the mantra "Sure we all know everyone exaggerates in AA". Untrue. I certainly didn't. I guess it's interesting that different people can come away with completely variant impressions!

As for the OP, one bottle of vodka in a sitting is indeed too much for anyone, even if only occasionally.

VinnyMcM

Anxious, IMO you need to get your health checked out before anything. Like a previous poster said it’s more than likely way better than you think. I was a drinker since 16 (now 35). Couldnt tell you when but that gradually became daily drinking. I had blood tests done at 33 and my liver and kidneys were completely fine.

It wasn’t until this year when I really started binge drinking everyday that my liver started showing heavy damage.

I always worried about my health too due to my drinking and that just caused me to drink more to rid myself of that anxiety. A simple blood test will show you your organ functions and you’ll get the results in a day. Just my experience.

ciowa

Welcome Anxiousrock. Its good to see you looking for help here.

I was a binge drinker as well and even with the time off between drinking, it still got worse over time. What used to be a few more drinks than I wanted, in time, turned to drinking for several days in a row, non stop.

Here are some of the things that helped me when I decided to get into recovery. Intensive Outpatient Therapy, AA, Smart Recovery, SR forums, Recovery Elevator Podcast and bunch of books, like "Alcohol Explained" by William Porter(He was a binge drinker and explicitly addresses binge drinking in his book) . Others on here can provide other resources as well.

The important thing is that you recognize the problem its causing in your life and are willing to look at changing this. Best wishes.

nez

I find meetings a great place to work on my social skills/anxiety. What better place than in a room full of people who are working on improving their lives. Even if the chattering monkeys in my head get the best of me and I feel that I am being judged or feel less than, I just remind myself that we are all just human beings with flaws/foibles and at different places in our improvement process, which brings my focus back to MY improvement process.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes. With practice, it gets easier. What do you have to lose...besides any misery you might be experiencing. :~)

NYCDoglvr

Wow, that's not my experience at all. If you say you're an alcoholic AA certainly welcomes you with open arms, in 28 years of meetings I've never heard anyone mention quantity. Ditto therapy. I suggest going back and getting the help you need.

Delilah1

Just want to welcome you to SR!

HeadEast

I want to welcome you also!!

Obladi

Ok, so that's a little different. One of the first requirements of being successful in AA and therapy is honesty. You're not going to really do yourself any favors if you push the blame onto other people not taking you seriously if you're not actually telling people what's going on with you.

I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm just saying that in order to get better, you do need to get in the front seat, you know?

So with AA, I'd suggest that you go to several meetings/week at minimum. The same ones, once you find some you like. You don't need to say anything at all if you don't want to. But do show up at least a few minutes early and hang around at least several minutes after. You can just sit right back down in your chair and jot some notes down to look busy or whatever. I'd be willing to bet that once women notice you more than once or twice (if it even takes that long!), they will start introducing themselves to you and exchanging numbers, etc.

In some meetings, people who are willing to be temporary sponsors are asked to raise their hands, so that makes it real easy to find someone. If that doesn't happen, you can of course ask one of these women who greet you if they have ideas of who might be willing to do the job.

As far as therapy goes, can you talk about how the work counseling thing went? Do you have health insurance?

You absolutely can get out of this cycle, I promise you.
It's just going to take some effort and stepping outside of your comfort zone to get it done. I know that doesn't sound fun, but neither is the misery you're finding yourself in, right??

O