Tomorrow is going to be bad...
 

I have just been told by the stepbrother (common-law), who is the owner of the house my dad and stepmom (common-law) stays in - and me, with them, until I’m back on my feet – that tomorrow is a family day and I am expected to take full part in it. This while he was pouring two bottles of booze (Vodka and Malibu) through a hole into a watermelon, effectively turning it into a alcohol-fruitbomb.
I told him I would have some of the kid’s “unlaced-with-alcohol” mellon, as I’ve been sober for almost three weeks.
“Come on”, he replied. “It’s just one day in the year, and you can sure as hell make an exception. Everybody will be drinking and we’re going to have a great day: Barbeque, spit-roast... Water-sports, tug-of-war, three-legged and sack-racing, you name it… Make not drinking your New-Years resolution”, he said, “but don’t be a spoil-sport tomorrow.”
We/they are also having some more family over for the day, and there will be about 14 adults in all, all heavy drinkers, most of them alcoholics, and all couples. Yours truly will be the only single adult here, and the only non-drinker, the only spoil-sport…
It’s going to be a fun day, but to me it’s going to be a bad day.

I am rooting for you, Rockbottom :scoregood

Don't let the naysayers get you down. I hope you can dig into a good day that you can actually enjoy because you don't drink!

Stick to your guns, don't let anyone drag you down!

:c011: :grouphug: :c011:

Hold your head up high and be proud of your three weeks. You're over the worst wouldn't it be awful to start back at day 1 just to please somebody else.
With all that's going on it sounds like there should be a sober responsible adult present. That could be you.
I hope you have a happy sober new year.

You don't have to drink, and it doesn't have to be a "bad day" if you don't.

Have fun with the kids--really pay attention to them unlike drunk adults who ignore, patronize, and scare most kids on holidays.

You can do this and actually enjoy the day. . .

Maybe disappear every hour for 5 minutes and post/read on this site? Might give you a mental breather from the chaos around there.

It's sad that you would be treated that way by family, especially if you're an alcoholic who has given up drinking to better yourself and your life. They should be understanding of that, and respectful. Nobody should be poked at for trying to better themselves.

Can you ghost the place for the day?
Find an alcathon or something?

Just because someone who is trying to sabotage your sobriety says you are "expected" to participate in anything alcohol related doesn't mean you have to. He is trying to bully you into drinking. They don't need to understand your struggle anymore than you need to be there. It would be nice if they did, but that is obviously not the case. The question is, what are you going to do? It is not a healthy place to be at all. Maybe you could get another person in recovery to call you shortly after the "Party" begins and say they need help immediately. Certainly the family will understand if there is an "emergency" situation and you had to leave. The Evil Step-Brother will look pretty silly trying to stop you from helping someone in need.

Hey rockbottom :)

Other people often don't understand - but they don't have to. We do.
Landlord or not, family or not, you have a choice of what you do - always.

2020 is your year. Start it right. Do what you want to do :)

D

rockbottom, a spoilsport? what is the sport you might be spoiling?
do what’s right for you, and yeah, be the single adult and you will still be the adult at midnight and the only non-suffering one the next day, to start your new year iff right!

I'd take off for the day, and if they give you any static, tell them to go eff themselves. You told them you were sober and they won't respect that, so they don't deserve any respect in turn.

I used to let these situations make me cower and hide, but not anymore. I take charge. I say “I don’t drink” bright and assertive....like I’m the boss.

If I’m the boss here (because I am, of myself) then I speak like one.

Right when he said that, I’d have said something like “oh no, that won’t happen! I don’t drink, not ever.” When he wheedles, I just say, nope, no thanks and sometimes if they keep going (alcoholics always do, they need company to normalize their addiction) I add a derisive, loud laugh at the beginning or end of my third, fourth or fifth time saying “No, I won’t be drinking, you guys have fun, though”. Like it’s the most asinine, ridiculous thing you ever heard.

His wheedling is rude. If your language in return becomes a little rude, so be it.

It’s like someone who wants something from you that requires consent: you say no, and they don’t accept that you have not given consent. It’s your body. Consenting to anything that has an element of danger to your body is your own choice. DON’T give up your power over your own body and mind.

I’ve given up power many times in my life and ended up in situations I regretted more times than I can count: not just relapse from alcohol, there are many ways we do this. Enough is enough: a crucial part of sobriety is owning yourself again in situations where peer pressure is strong.

Agreed. I find no thanks works a treat. Then I dont drink. Then, maybe you should try it in 2020, great for the wasteline and lets face it we could all lose a few. Knowing glance. Rinse, repeat. No discussion needed or welcome. I would also create an emergency to get out after an hour (or not to go), because everyone will have more 'fun" and you will be safer.

This may not be the best way to handle the situation, so take what I say with a grain of salt. When I quit smoking cigarettes people would still offer smokes and try to get me to take them. I eventually got to the point where I would take the cigarette and crumple it up right in front of them. They didn't offer many more cigarettes after that. I plan to do the same thing when people try to push alcohol on me. I know you probably don't want to upset your family and friends, but they should also not want to upset you. Love should be stronger than alcohol.

Don't go. "No" is always a complete sentence.

Rock, keep us updated if you can. Whatever your plan may be, good luck today. You can do this!

If you feel that you're not strong enough to go and stay sober, than skip it. What are you missing out on?

Stupid drunk behavior
Possible arguments
Massive headache
Ruined hungover NY day

If you are able to stay sober, show your family how you have started a new chapter, a life full of new opportunities.

Choose wisely:grouphug:

Water-sports, tug-of-war, three-legged and sack-racing, you name it

As the only sober person there, you are going to kick some butt in these competitive activities!