3,679,200 Minutes Sober = Seven Years Sober
3,679,200 Minutes Sober = Seven Years Sober
Well, not quite yet but soon enough. My sobriety date is 01.08.2013 but I always feel the itch to come here around the holidays just shortly before that.
It seems a lifetime ago, so far away from it's clutches I no longer fear association by being around others imbibing. It used to bother me but not so much anymore. I just order my coke and don't really care what they are having. If they ask if I'd like something or offer a sip when they say it tastes good I just say I quit. It's just not a big deal to me anymore and I wanted it that way for so long. I remember telling my psychiatrist that I was going to in order to break the habit that I didn't want to be a dry drunk. He kept telling me how I needed to be involved with groups and talk about drinking and I just never liked the idea of being reminded every day of alcohol. So I never did, the sooner I could forget about alcohol I wanted to forget and I was glad I did. I walked away and never looked back that last time. I went out on my own terms, finally kicked it to the curb. I had had enough and couldn't stand the thought of talking about it for a minute longer. I was done and so was it and I better for it. No more obssession waiting from me in the darkest wings of my brain, just wiped clean, and It's like becoming a different person. I just don't have the drive to imbibe anymore, I just need to be mindful like a peanut allergy that I can't have it so I don't and I am ok with it.
This took years though for all of you out there still searching for your moment. It was no easy task in the beginning, I don't want to sugar coat it, that first year was obssessive murder to my brain but I finally stuck it out. Shades of it still reared it's head from time to time but I would say that by the end of the second year the impulses were long gone. Now I look at alcohol in a different way, I don't even relate to it. It's just something other people do that I don't do and I take it very indifferently when they do. I just don't care, live and let live.
I do know some who either have loved ones who drink too much or do so themselves and I still will impart whatever wisdom I can in these situations, I will never turn away someone who needs advice or a shoulder to lean on. Still though, my normal thoughts are galaxies away from the impulsive thoughts of alcohol. It's just doesn't matter and I am just fine with that...
I hope you all are enjoying a very sober holiday season and best wishes in the coming New Year.
It seems a lifetime ago, so far away from it's clutches I no longer fear association by being around others imbibing. It used to bother me but not so much anymore. I just order my coke and don't really care what they are having. If they ask if I'd like something or offer a sip when they say it tastes good I just say I quit. It's just not a big deal to me anymore and I wanted it that way for so long. I remember telling my psychiatrist that I was going to in order to break the habit that I didn't want to be a dry drunk. He kept telling me how I needed to be involved with groups and talk about drinking and I just never liked the idea of being reminded every day of alcohol. So I never did, the sooner I could forget about alcohol I wanted to forget and I was glad I did. I walked away and never looked back that last time. I went out on my own terms, finally kicked it to the curb. I had had enough and couldn't stand the thought of talking about it for a minute longer. I was done and so was it and I better for it. No more obssession waiting from me in the darkest wings of my brain, just wiped clean, and It's like becoming a different person. I just don't have the drive to imbibe anymore, I just need to be mindful like a peanut allergy that I can't have it so I don't and I am ok with it.
This took years though for all of you out there still searching for your moment. It was no easy task in the beginning, I don't want to sugar coat it, that first year was obssessive murder to my brain but I finally stuck it out. Shades of it still reared it's head from time to time but I would say that by the end of the second year the impulses were long gone. Now I look at alcohol in a different way, I don't even relate to it. It's just something other people do that I don't do and I take it very indifferently when they do. I just don't care, live and let live.
I do know some who either have loved ones who drink too much or do so themselves and I still will impart whatever wisdom I can in these situations, I will never turn away someone who needs advice or a shoulder to lean on. Still though, my normal thoughts are galaxies away from the impulsive thoughts of alcohol. It's just doesn't matter and I am just fine with that...
I hope you all are enjoying a very sober holiday season and best wishes in the coming New Year.
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