It’s tough some days
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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It’s tough some days
2.25 years of sobriety and the cravings have brought tears to my eyes, guys.
No gym for 12 days, lots of sugar intake, not enough sleep, emotions for days (daughter came home from russia), first Xmas without my dad, managing everyone’s Xmas.
Picked up my husbands bottle of bourbon in the kitchen and swirled it around, glass bottle heavy and clear, the liquid golden and fluid...
Last night my kid who just came in from russia did a mini tasting with my husbands whiskeys, which for them was three sips, for me is 3 quarters of a liter, which is why I no longer drink.
I went to the husband and and cried, he said “I’m putting all the liquor out of sight.” He went through the kitchen and cleared it.
More sugar. More minutes, more hours, more days, back to self care and gym and nutrition soon.
Still sober.
I have days like this sometimes.
No gym for 12 days, lots of sugar intake, not enough sleep, emotions for days (daughter came home from russia), first Xmas without my dad, managing everyone’s Xmas.
Picked up my husbands bottle of bourbon in the kitchen and swirled it around, glass bottle heavy and clear, the liquid golden and fluid...
Last night my kid who just came in from russia did a mini tasting with my husbands whiskeys, which for them was three sips, for me is 3 quarters of a liter, which is why I no longer drink.
I went to the husband and and cried, he said “I’m putting all the liquor out of sight.” He went through the kitchen and cleared it.
More sugar. More minutes, more hours, more days, back to self care and gym and nutrition soon.
Still sober.
I have days like this sometimes.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
aw.
I don't have entire days, but I do have moments. Sometimes more of them than seems reasonable.
You've got this. It comes, it goes. You didn't drink. Success. Life is kinda struggley. I don't think that's a word. Leaving it.
I don't have entire days, but I do have moments. Sometimes more of them than seems reasonable.
You've got this. It comes, it goes. You didn't drink. Success. Life is kinda struggley. I don't think that's a word. Leaving it.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
This is the time to check your belt at the door and eat until you go into a food coma.
My last weigh in was this morning and I'm not checking it again until after the new Year. I'm gonna eat what I want when I want it.
Every place I'm going this year for dinner is gonna have booze. Honestly...I'm not dreading that, I'm really looking forward to Turkey skin and Maple sausage stuffing with Peanut butter Brownie bars for dessert.
Then onto Christmas day with my cousins and the rest of my family. That's where they're gonna have a massive spread of everything that I should not be eating.....but I WILL.
My point Sassy,
Be good to yourself over these holidays. Treat yourself with kid gloves and as long as you don't drink, I feel like we should be able to eat ourselves silly if not for a little extra comfort.
It's not even dinner time yet and I already ate 6 cupcakes. F it. I'm gonna try to enjoy it even if it gives me an extra 10 to lose.
I wish you happy holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy Chaunakah!!!
My last weigh in was this morning and I'm not checking it again until after the new Year. I'm gonna eat what I want when I want it.
Every place I'm going this year for dinner is gonna have booze. Honestly...I'm not dreading that, I'm really looking forward to Turkey skin and Maple sausage stuffing with Peanut butter Brownie bars for dessert.
Then onto Christmas day with my cousins and the rest of my family. That's where they're gonna have a massive spread of everything that I should not be eating.....but I WILL.
My point Sassy,
Be good to yourself over these holidays. Treat yourself with kid gloves and as long as you don't drink, I feel like we should be able to eat ourselves silly if not for a little extra comfort.
It's not even dinner time yet and I already ate 6 cupcakes. F it. I'm gonna try to enjoy it even if it gives me an extra 10 to lose.
I wish you happy holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy Chaunakah!!!
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Hours
Originally Posted by BullDog777 
This is the time to check your belt at the door and eat until you go into a food coma.
My last weigh in was this morning and I'm not checking it again until after the new Year. I'm gonna eat what I want when I want it.
Every place I'm going this year for dinner is gonna have booze. Honestly...I'm not dreading that, I'm really looking forward to Turkey skin and Maple sausage stuffing with Peanut butter Brownie bars for dessert.
Then onto Christmas day with my cousins and the rest of my family. That's where they're gonna have a massive spread of everything that I should not be eating.....but I WILL.
My point Sassy,
Be good to yourself over these holidays. Treat yourself with kid gloves and as long as you don't drink, I feel like we should be able to eat ourselves silly if not for a little extra comfort.
It's not even dinner time yet and I already ate 6 cupcakes. F it. I'm gonna try to enjoy it even if it gives me an extra 10 to lose.
I wish you happy holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy Chaunakah!!!
My last weigh in was this morning and I'm not checking it again until after the new Year. I'm gonna eat what I want when I want it.
Every place I'm going this year for dinner is gonna have booze. Honestly...I'm not dreading that, I'm really looking forward to Turkey skin and Maple sausage stuffing with Peanut butter Brownie bars for dessert.
Then onto Christmas day with my cousins and the rest of my family. That's where they're gonna have a massive spread of everything that I should not be eating.....but I WILL.
My point Sassy,
Be good to yourself over these holidays. Treat yourself with kid gloves and as long as you don't drink, I feel like we should be able to eat ourselves silly if not for a little extra comfort.
It's not even dinner time yet and I already ate 6 cupcakes. F it. I'm gonna try to enjoy it even if it gives me an extra 10 to lose.
I wish you happy holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy Chaunakah!!!
I’ve eaten about 8 Christmas cookies and it’s not even 2pm yet.
I already have fat clothes laid out for tomorrow. Eh, oh well.
I need better ways to cope but I’m not coming up with that in less than 48 hours, so eff it.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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Originally Posted by Ken33xx
Wife baked some brownies. Supposed to be for tomorrow.
Already ate two large pieces and the brownies were taken out of the oven just 30 minutes ago.
No alcohol in the house but good God.
Hide the scale.
Already ate two large pieces and the brownies were taken out of the oven just 30 minutes ago.
No alcohol in the house but good God.
Hide the scale.
Yep no weighing until the bells stop jingling.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Callas
I feel like that all the time Sassy. Being sober for me is just not easy. Jeepers I hope this changes.
I’m having a hard time but I’ve had better times sprinkled in here and there.
Today though, Oy.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Oh, I thought it was about existential angst. Food?! That's a whole other ball game.
I ate 8 pieces of Russell Stover candy and a quarter of a pumpkin pie with cool whip already today, in addition to a huge breakfast ...and it's only 2PM. I kind of feel like not moving though...like it wasn't a great idea
I actually have decent food in the house, vegetables and poultry and stuff.
It's okay. Eat all the food.
Love to all my food buddies. It's the biggest baddest most emotionally land-mined holiday of the year. Food is the least problematic thing I can do. I'm pretty proud of myself for not buying egg nog and Martinellis. That was a win in itself. I just glanced and kept moving.
I ate 8 pieces of Russell Stover candy and a quarter of a pumpkin pie with cool whip already today, in addition to a huge breakfast ...and it's only 2PM. I kind of feel like not moving though...like it wasn't a great idea
I actually have decent food in the house, vegetables and poultry and stuff.
It's okay. Eat all the food.
Love to all my food buddies. It's the biggest baddest most emotionally land-mined holiday of the year. Food is the least problematic thing I can do.
I'm pretty proud of myself for not buying egg nog and Martinellis. That was a win in itself. I just glanced and kept moving.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
During the holidays I increase meetings because I'm extra vulnerable during this dark season. It helps get me through plus I get to help other alcoholics stay sober. Have a safe Christmas & New Years folks!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
weird things I saw at the grocery store today:
An entire family (like six of them) all dressed in matchy-matchy Christmas pajamas and Santa hats. When did that become a thing? It was like Trick or Mistletoe..
A man who bought 28 gallons of milk and 15 flats of strawberries. Apparently he has a coffee shop.
A lady with two huge carts with just A&W root beer in 12 packs. No idea.
I won't go into all the carts stuffed with booze.
The charge card terminals were "off line." Yep. Christmas Eve day and the only payment they accepted was cash. It's a huge superstore, too. Like a Walmart only it's a Fred Meyer. (Is FM a West Coast chain? It's owned by Kroger...) Cash only throws off 90% of shoppers! Luckily they had a branch of my bank right there in the store so I just got a couple hundred in cash. 20 people in line for the ATM, though.
An entire family (like six of them) all dressed in matchy-matchy Christmas pajamas and Santa hats. When did that become a thing? It was like Trick or Mistletoe..
A man who bought 28 gallons of milk and 15 flats of strawberries. Apparently he has a coffee shop.
A lady with two huge carts with just A&W root beer in 12 packs. No idea.
I won't go into all the carts stuffed with booze.
The charge card terminals were "off line." Yep. Christmas Eve day and the only payment they accepted was cash. It's a huge superstore, too. Like a Walmart only it's a Fred Meyer. (Is FM a West Coast chain? It's owned by Kroger...) Cash only throws off 90% of shoppers! Luckily they had a branch of my bank right there in the store so I just got a couple hundred in cash. 20 people in line for the ATM, though.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by biminiblue
weird things I saw at the grocery store today:
An entire family (like six of them) all dressed in matchy-matchy Christmas pajamas and Santa hats. When did that become a thing? It was like Trick or Mistletoe..
A man who bought 28 gallons of milk and 15 flats of strawberries. Apparently he has a coffee shop.
A lady with two huge carts with just A&W root beer in 12 packs. No idea.
I won't go into all the carts stuffed with booze.
The charge card terminals were "off line." Yep. Christmas Eve day and the only payment they accepted was cash. It's a huge superstore, too. Like a Walmart only it's a Fred Meyer. (Is FM a West Coast chain? It's owned by Kroger...) Cash only throws off 90% of shoppers! Luckily they had a branch of my bank right there in the store so I just got a couple hundred in cash.
An entire family (like six of them) all dressed in matchy-matchy Christmas pajamas and Santa hats. When did that become a thing? It was like Trick or Mistletoe..
A man who bought 28 gallons of milk and 15 flats of strawberries. Apparently he has a coffee shop.
A lady with two huge carts with just A&W root beer in 12 packs. No idea.
I won't go into all the carts stuffed with booze.
The charge card terminals were "off line." Yep. Christmas Eve day and the only payment they accepted was cash. It's a huge superstore, too. Like a Walmart only it's a Fred Meyer. (Is FM a West Coast chain? It's owned by Kroger...) Cash only throws off 90% of shoppers! Luckily they had a branch of my bank right there in the store so I just got a couple hundred in cash.
But....no Xmas Scrooge for the fam, so I put on red clothes and a huge frantic smile, and no one’s the wiser (not really but I’m trying).
No, it’s not about food though Bimini.
It’s just food we are using, because we don’t drink. Not ever, not for any reason, not even on Christmas.
Take care all of you. We have a lot to be grateful for.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
The food is a far better solution than drugs or alcohol and it feels a lot better to the poor old body.
I'm glad you posted this. I'm sorry you are feeling off, but you're certainly not alone. Every year I just try to hang on till the 26th. Don't know why I let a calendar do me in every year.
I didn't even listen to ONE Christmas song (not on purpose anyway.)
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Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I always say its not the thoughts that count it's what we do with them Sassy.
Callas, I never thought I could be the person whose first thoughts didn't go to drinking, or who would never not want to drink.. but I changed.
They say in AA don't leave before the miracle happens. I think that's pretty good advice.
A message to both you guys and everyone -
Be sober, Be happy.
A life you don't want to escape from is the best recovery tool ever.
D
Callas, I never thought I could be the person whose first thoughts didn't go to drinking, or who would never not want to drink.. but I changed.
They say in AA don't leave before the miracle happens. I think that's pretty good advice.
A message to both you guys and everyone -
Be sober, Be happy.
A life you don't want to escape from is the best recovery tool ever.
D
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by biminiblue
weird things I saw at the grocery store today:
An entire family (like six of them) all dressed in matchy-matchy Christmas pajamas and Santa hats. When did that become a thing? It was like Trick or Mistletoe..
A man who bought 28 gallons of milk and 15 flats of strawberries. Apparently he has a coffee shop.
A lady with two huge carts with just A&W root beer in 12 packs. No idea.
I won't go into all the carts stuffed with booze.
The charge card terminals were "off line." Yep. Christmas Eve day and the only payment they accepted was cash. It's a huge superstore, too. Like a Walmart only it's a Fred Meyer. (Is FM a West Coast chain? It's owned by Kroger...) Cash only throws off 90% of shoppers! Luckily they had a branch of my bank right there in the store so I just got a couple hundred in cash. 20 people in line for the ATM, though.
An entire family (like six of them) all dressed in matchy-matchy Christmas pajamas and Santa hats. When did that become a thing? It was like Trick or Mistletoe..
A man who bought 28 gallons of milk and 15 flats of strawberries. Apparently he has a coffee shop.
A lady with two huge carts with just A&W root beer in 12 packs. No idea.
I won't go into all the carts stuffed with booze.
The charge card terminals were "off line." Yep. Christmas Eve day and the only payment they accepted was cash. It's a huge superstore, too. Like a Walmart only it's a Fred Meyer. (Is FM a West Coast chain? It's owned by Kroger...) Cash only throws off 90% of shoppers! Luckily they had a branch of my bank right there in the store so I just got a couple hundred in cash. 20 people in line for the ATM, though.
I know where you live.
Used to visit my grandmother on her blackberry farm sometimes as a kid, would ride my bike to Fred Meyer, lots of hills and pine trees along the way. No Fred Meyers in California, though.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 116
Hey sassy. I can sort of relate to how you're feeling. I've fallen off my keto train big time lately and been sugar binging....I can definitely feel the difference physically and mentally. Have also been having mild cravings as I watch people celebrate the holidays with booze. It's almost over though! We can start 2020 with clean slate and a fresh mind. Merry christmas! And don't be too hard on yourself
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