Needing support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,332
Needing support
Hi everyone!
I am an old timer. I lived on this forum everyday until about five years ago. By that time life was going pretty good. I felt calm and confident with my sobriety and life was busy pulling me in multiple directions. So, I left.
I am happy to say it's been over 8 years now. But, my life crashed and blew apart in July of this year. My husband died from suicide. And my life has been in a tailspin ever since. I haven't slipped not once. Even though the crushing pain of grief is almost more than I can bear at times. I belong to an online group for survivors, medicated and in therapy too.
But, I have come to realize that a support system was missing. I needed a sobriety group to. So, here I am folks. Rather back where I started and I must say simply reaching out and saying I need help has helped. And I am so glad I am back.
I am an old timer. I lived on this forum everyday until about five years ago. By that time life was going pretty good. I felt calm and confident with my sobriety and life was busy pulling me in multiple directions. So, I left.
I am happy to say it's been over 8 years now. But, my life crashed and blew apart in July of this year. My husband died from suicide. And my life has been in a tailspin ever since. I haven't slipped not once. Even though the crushing pain of grief is almost more than I can bear at times. I belong to an online group for survivors, medicated and in therapy too.
But, I have come to realize that a support system was missing. I needed a sobriety group to. So, here I am folks. Rather back where I started and I must say simply reaching out and saying I need help has helped. And I am so glad I am back.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
happybeingme - I'm very glad you decided to post about what happened. I'm sorry for the tragic circumstances that led you back, but happy you wanted to be part of us again.
I hope being here will help ease, in some small way, the pain you've been dealing with. Congratulations for holding on to your 8 yrs. of sobriety. We care and we want to help.
I hope being here will help ease, in some small way, the pain you've been dealing with. Congratulations for holding on to your 8 yrs. of sobriety. We care and we want to help.
But we're glad to see you......kudos for staying sober! 
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
thank you for rejoining us.
I'm sure we will benefit from your presence as much as you will from ours. You know this is that kind of place.
I can't even imagine what this year must have been like for you and think it's very wise to surround the wagons, particularly as we move into the next year.
O
I'm sure we will benefit from your presence as much as you will from ours. You know this is that kind of place.
I can't even imagine what this year must have been like for you and think it's very wise to surround the wagons, particularly as we move into the next year.
O
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Prayers.
There is no issue booze cant make worse. Take the most fun evening and add booze...the next day is not so fun. Stay clean and the next day is just happy memories.
Anyway...
I am feeling better than ever and of course my addict brain wants to dance with the evil again. Sr keeps me refreshed and reminded about the horrors of booze addiction.
My step son talked about suicide some about 6 years ago. We got him a psychologist and he almost got transferred to a psychiatrist. Somehow counseling fixed him up...so far.
Where can I go to learn more about what makes folks decide to take their own life?
Are there signs or things we can do to help them?
I remember my wife was basically his prisoner. He wielded his mental health threats like a sword.
Thanks.
There is no issue booze cant make worse. Take the most fun evening and add booze...the next day is not so fun. Stay clean and the next day is just happy memories.
Anyway...
I am feeling better than ever and of course my addict brain wants to dance with the evil again. Sr keeps me refreshed and reminded about the horrors of booze addiction.
My step son talked about suicide some about 6 years ago. We got him a psychologist and he almost got transferred to a psychiatrist. Somehow counseling fixed him up...so far.
Where can I go to learn more about what makes folks decide to take their own life?
Are there signs or things we can do to help them?
I remember my wife was basically his prisoner. He wielded his mental health threats like a sword.
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,332
Originally Posted by D122y 
Prayers.
There is no issue booze cant make worse. Take the most fun evening and add booze...the next day is not so fun. Stay clean and the next day is just happy memories.
Anyway...
I am feeling better than ever and of course my addict brain wants to dance with the evil again. Sr keeps me refreshed and reminded about the horrors of booze addiction.
My step son talked about suicide some about 6 years ago. We got him a psychologist and he almost got transferred to a psychiatrist. Somehow counseling fixed him up...so far.
Where can I go to learn more about what makes folks decide to take their own life?
Are there signs or things we can do to help them?
I remember my wife was basically his prisoner. He wielded his mental health threats like a sword.
Thanks.
There is no issue booze cant make worse. Take the most fun evening and add booze...the next day is not so fun. Stay clean and the next day is just happy memories.
Anyway...
I am feeling better than ever and of course my addict brain wants to dance with the evil again. Sr keeps me refreshed and reminded about the horrors of booze addiction.
My step son talked about suicide some about 6 years ago. We got him a psychologist and he almost got transferred to a psychiatrist. Somehow counseling fixed him up...so far.
Where can I go to learn more about what makes folks decide to take their own life?
Are there signs or things we can do to help them?
I remember my wife was basically his prisoner. He wielded his mental health threats like a sword.
Thanks.
those of us left behind are called suicide survivors. Statistically we are at the highest risk of suicide and addiction in the aftermath. The death is traumatic and many of us have PTSD too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you. I don't think there's better support than AA, where I've shared heartache and pain when I need help. I guess what we realize that taking a drink will do nothing to fix the problem or even alleviate the pain. A big hug.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Hi HBM and another "welcome back". Very very sorry for your loss.
To me the fact that you left SR for a while makes perfect sense. Things were good, you stopped drinking and had a good amount of sober time between you and your last drink. The important fact is that when life took a bad turn you came back. When I walked back into AA in 2015 after leaving over 20 years earlier I knew one thing. I would be welcomed.
All that said I have a request to anyone reading this who has successfully stopped drinking, has a decent period of sober time and is thinking of leaving the SR forums. Please come back occasionally (annually?) and let us know how you are doing. I want to hear your story of continued success in sobriety. It's helpful to hear from the folks who have succeeded. Thanks.
To me the fact that you left SR for a while makes perfect sense. Things were good, you stopped drinking and had a good amount of sober time between you and your last drink. The important fact is that when life took a bad turn you came back. When I walked back into AA in 2015 after leaving over 20 years earlier I knew one thing. I would be welcomed.
All that said I have a request to anyone reading this who has successfully stopped drinking, has a decent period of sober time and is thinking of leaving the SR forums. Please come back occasionally (annually?) and let us know how you are doing. I want to hear your story of continued success in sobriety. It's helpful to hear from the folks who have succeeded. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Hi there.
I’m sorry. I know how your feel.
The pain from losing my father was intense. I stayed sober through it all because I have to stay sober, I don’t drink any more to deal with things but it was like living in a black hole.
I’ve needed to be here to have support as well. There are a lot of people who understand.
I hope you can find some good friends in real life to help you feel better as well.
I’m sorry. I know how your feel.
The pain from losing my father was intense. I stayed sober through it all because I have to stay sober, I don’t drink any more to deal with things but it was like living in a black hole.
I’ve needed to be here to have support as well. There are a lot of people who understand.
I hope you can find some good friends in real life to help you feel better as well.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 104
HBM...I can't imagine what you must be going through as I know how individual tragic loss is, my own experiences (we lost our son) a long time ago. And of course this season makes everything more poignant, if that is indeed possible. Hopefully you are regrouping over time and your sobriety will be one of many strengths you (re)discover to get you through this time...all the very best....ND
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