swlnyc2017

I was fired from my job Monday, and I must admit I’m relieved. Without taking inventory, the place was toxic and it was not a good fit. We lost the account I was hired for, so it’s not a big surprise. I really thank God for this program. I’ve Been laid off before while I was active and always used it as an excuse to drink and be bitter. In sobriety, my first inclination after getting fired was to go to a meeting, and call my sponsor. Big difference. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried, but I have a program to see me through this. If anyone has experience with this, please feel free to share or comment.

Callas

Well done for the very mature and reasoned way in which you reacted to this.

MLD51

I have not had experience with that exact scenario in sobriety, but I have been through many situations that, in the past, would have sent me straight to the bottle. I used any little "bad" or stressful thing that happened as an excuse/reason to drink. In sobriety, I have a program and plan to help me face these things without drinking. I have a new-found confidence that I can not only get through these things sober, but that I can actually learn important lessons, and find solutions. I have learned to take deep breaths, not panic (well, maybe a little) and figure out a plan of action. I can still worry, but at the same time, I take action and that keeps the worry to a minimum. Sobriety and the program make that possible.

You'll be fine!

Dee74

best wishes for finding a job thats a better fit for you - and congrats on staying in recovery swlnyc

D

Grungehead

I got laid off from my job at a startup in 2002, as the primary funder had to pull out due to financial difficulties. I was sober at the time, loved my job, and was somewhat heartbroken that we (our team at the beta site) weren't going to see our product make it commercially. I say "somewhat" heartbroken because there were rumors for a few months that this might happen. As a senior member of the team I was kept on for an additional 2-3 months to help wind down the project, and during that time I got letters of recommendation from the project manager, the director of the division and the CEO. I started looking for jobs online during that 2-3 month period and applied to several. I took a day off with permission to fly out to an interview with a company in a similar field and got the job, which started two weeks after my last day at my old job. I could have started earlier but I needed those 2 weeks to find an apartment and move since the job was in a different state.

I know that was a long winded ramble, but for a reason. Would I have handled that situation the same if I was drinking at the time? I think not! I would have thrown myself a pity party and probably wouldn't have thought to get 3 sterling letters of recommendation from my employers (which i am sure helped me get the new job). The thing is, I never would have had such a good job to get laid off from if I was drinking. So I like your attitude swlnyc, I am positive it will serve you well moving forward.

AAPJ

Like many of us I have been fired/laid off a few times in my career. Most recently it occurred in February of 2018. Our company had been acquired by a larger company a year earlier and the integration process was complete. So out the door I went along with about a third of the company. I got laid off in the morning and cleaned out my desk quickly. I made the noon meeting at my AA home group. I did not even share that I had just been laid off. Just sat quietly and took it in. Yes quite different from the last time a number of years ago. Then it was a reason to drink a lot. But back then everything was a reason to drink.

As a white male in my late 50s I realize that it is unlikely I will ever have a "good" job again. I have been a consultant since the lay off. I make about half of what I once earned. It is perhaps one of the most frustrating situations in my life right now. But I have a good family and I don't have cancer or some other terminal disease so the glass is still more than half full.

aasharon90

You are in good Hands if you are living your life
in recovery using the steps, tools and knowledge
taught to you and continue learning from, guiding
you with each step you take.

Back in 2006, I made a move from Houston to
Baton Rouge, my hometown with a new job. With
many yrs of sobriety, 25 yrs marriage ending,
and nearing 50 yrs old.

Before I left Houston, I used my recovery program
and all that was taught to me to prepare for this
move and change in my life. I did the footwork necessary
to give me the willingness and courage and strength
to venture off on my own to live by myself and start
a new job.

This job was only meant to be my golden ticket to
get me back home to Baton Rouge where I longed
to return to. In prayer I wasn't granted this gift emmediately
as it happened in His time, not mine. For yrs, I cried,
prayed and did what I was suppose to do while living
in Houston, but my heart never left BR.

Anyway, eventually in God's time, 10 yrs later, I
got a job as a teller at a bank I use to work at when
I was 20. However, this job didnt last long and yes,
I understood why. This job was ONLY my ticket,
way back home. Yes, it was a gift from Above blessing
me with a few months of good money to help with
my apt, rent and such.

While at the bank, things had changed since I was
20. Computers, tellers doing more work then just
cashing checks and making deposits. In the few months
I was there, I was in training moving from several
banks. Only one bank I felt comfortable at and that
one wasn't the one I was assigned to.

The others had bullies there, which made me sad.

Anyway, things worked out the way they were
suppose to as I was let go, not fired, but could
apply at the bank I wanted to when an opening
came up. Until then, I needed a new job to keep
up the rent.

Once again I used my recovery program and again
I was blessed with a new job working at a bakery
which was perfect.

When, I continue to apply my program of recovery
to all areas of my life, for all situations then it takes
the anxiety and worry out of it. When I place myself
into the Hands of my HP for guidance and care and
do the footwork necessary then whatever im faced
with will happen in the time meant to happen.

In His time not mine.

When I follow my program of recovery on a continuous
bases and place my faith where needed, then I need not
worry because I know I will be taken care of each and every
time.

Kaneda8888

Yes, its happened a few times. It is unpleasant and causes a lot of stress. A reminder that sobriety doesnt change the world around us. It changes how we react to the world around us. Get back up and keep moving forward. Difficult but in sobriety we have the ability to do just that.

Sasha4

I am going through similar to this at the moment.
I have been made redundant 5 times now.
I'm 47 years old.

For 4 of the times I was made redundant I was not drinking.
I was earlier on in my sobriety and I took it one day at a time.
I strongly believed that it drinking would not help or change it and I had to wait until things got better.

I have always advocated 'everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end'.

This time Im struggling.
Really struggling.
Im not sure I am going to make it without drinking.

I wanted to share with you just so you know you are not alone.
I hope I have not made you feel worse.

I came here now this minute to start a post on how i was feeling.
I thought I would contribute to your thread.

I feel so lonely in all of this.

faith823

Hi guys, do not DRINK- I just lost a job due to being unreliable while drinking. I will tell you , this time around looking for a new job- I have no income at the moment. I have a chance. I am working on my recovery. Recovery and not drinking is helping with my self esteem and not to settle for less. I felt so unsure and like a fraud looking for a job while drinking. You both have skills/experience and a lot to offer. God is doing for us what we can not do for ourselves. Is there a placement service that can help you both find jobs in your field? Indeed? The first of the year I am sure even more brand new opportunities will open up.
Wonderful time to get some day meeting in. And rejuvenate your mind and body. I did ALOT of damage drinking while being unemployed while waiting to start this last job which I just eventually lost- (because I picked up again) The days go by in a sickly blur.

Dee74

Fear is a tough one to deal with Sasha but I really do believe things do turn out right in the end

You've bounced back before and I really believe you will again

What I do know is that drinking will not help your fear or help you in finding another job.

There's nothing so worse a drink can't make worse.

Wishing you all the best in your job search

D

Gottalife

I was fired at seven weeks sober and on top of that my workmates had stolen all my gear from my locker. God and AA definitely saw me through that one ok, and within a few days I had a much better job. It wasn't nice at the time, but as that door closed another one opens, and the whole thing got me on a much better track. For some strange reason it didn't occur to me to drink, instead like you I reached out to my AA friends.

I look back and think of one of the third step promises which have been kept over and over. It goes something like "We have a new employer. Being all powerful He provides what we need if we stick close to Him and perform his work well".

Sasha4

You are right Dee about fear and about everything turning out okay.

I think some of the fear comes from knowing I have been out of work for 6 months now.
I can't imagine working.
I can't imagine being like the old me.

I am dealing with some other issues too.

A family member is not very well after big surgery.
Recovery is slow.
I was also attacked in my home and had injuries and had to go to court.
It's made it very difficult to concentrate on finding a job.

I have to work.
I am a single parent.

I have not got any of the jobs I have gone for.
I think its hard to convince an employer to have faith in me when I have so little faith in me.

Thanks all xx

Kaneda8888

Sasha, you are not alone. There are so many folks who are in their mid 40s+ struggling to find secure work. I also struggle. It is unpleasant but I accept my situation. Try to focus on making incremental steps forward. Every day. It doesnt have to be monumental achievements. Just one positive little step at a time.

When you arent working, it is very lonely. Suddenly, there are no colleagues around you. That is a fact. And being lonely is a crushing feeling. But drinking wont make those folks come back. It may temporarily numb the feeling but it wont go away. And afterwards, you get remorse, shame and guilt along with the loneliness. Please dont pick up a drink.

Can I suggest that you go to meetups and meet other folks who are in the same boat ? Hopefully, there are some meetups in your town where you can safely share your feelings of loneliness and despair. I think that will alleviate the feelings of loneliness. Having a kindred spirit. If there isnt then, then please post here on SR or DM me

Dee74

would any kind of retraining schemes help you find a little of that lost faith in yourself Sasha?

I'm really sorry to hear about that other stuff too Sasha. Are you talking to someone about the assault - that must have been incredibly traumatic.

Best wishes and prayers for your family member too

D

Sasha4

Thank you both

The assault was serious and the police were involved.
Victim support were great.
He was found guilty and sentenced.
No-one knows I was in court.

Yes I agree about the loneliness from not working.
Sometimes I go sit in a cafe or a library to hear background noise.
It can be very silent when you are sat at home all day on your own.

Thanks both for caring xx

Dee74

I'm so glad that justice was served

I know th job hunt is the main priority - as it should be - but have you thought of voluntary work at all, Sasha? I got a lot out of that.

D

Sasha4

I'm not really talking to anyone regards the attack now.
Most of the talking was about court, statements and evidence.
I just feel sad.

I think voluntary work would be good for me.
It would be so nice to work with other people and just have normal work chat like do you want a cuppa? Have you been for your lunch hour yet?
I'm lonely I guess.
I just feel so silent if that makes sense?
I can't find the words.
It's me that has created not having the words and the silence.

xx

Kaneda8888

I am so sorry to hear about your attack. I missed that in my last post. Is there a service that can provide support to you ? It may be worthwhile to investigate.

Doing voluntary work is beneficial. I do mentoring in my field of expertise. It doesnt pay the bills but being able to share my experiences and skills to support someone else is rewarding in itself.

Maybe you could search meetups to see if there are any interesting events to attend. They are usually free. Just to sit and listen. Be in the company of folks who have a similar interest. Or even try a new interest ! Alternatively, there is always AA. I have been to many AAs in my town. They are usually staunchly secular. Hopefully the same in your part of the world.

For me, there are times when I do feel silent. When I either have no energy to talk or believe I have nothing to contribute. Its a warning sign for me in that depression or sadness is clouding my thoughts. What gives me reprieve is my recovery program. I follow that without question. However, there will still be times when I feel very sad. I simply sit in those feelings; observe how it makes me feel and then let it dissipate. The feelings do dissipate if I accept them and do not resist. Once there is only a residue left, I get busy, whether it is chores personal development or work. Hope fully some ideas for you.

Dee74

Kanedas right in that it doesn't pay the bills....but it can look good on a CV and yeah there is that human aspect, that connection we all need.

I really needed a reason to get out of bed and get out of the house.

It may even help you work your way though the aftermath of what you've been through?

D