?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
?
Day 195. I thought I’d feel super. For some reason these past 3-4 days I’ve felt so anxious (just like the anxiety from when I was actively drinking) and so sad. I have a giant pit in my stomach and I’m about to burst into tears.
I won’t drink. But, at the moment, I want to.
Anyway, just had to get that out.
I won’t drink. But, at the moment, I want to.
Anyway, just had to get that out.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
I was still having cravings, urges, obsessing, whatever you wanna call it well into my first year.
The good news is you're not a machine. This process ebs and flows like the ocean. As real as this feels right now, you'll even out before long.
I read somewhere the average craving lasts between 10-30 minutes. Sometimes, you can have a day full of them one right after the other. The thing that helped me the most was keeping myself busy.
You'll feel better soon. Hang in there.
The good news is you're not a machine. This process ebs and flows like the ocean. As real as this feels right now, you'll even out before long.
I read somewhere the average craving lasts between 10-30 minutes. Sometimes, you can have a day full of them one right after the other. The thing that helped me the most was keeping myself busy.
You'll feel better soon. Hang in there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by BullDog777 
I was still having cravings, urges, obsessing, whatever you wanna call it well into my first year.
The good news is you're not a machine. This process ebs and flows like the ocean. As real as this feels right now, you'll even out before long.
I read somewhere the average craving lasts between 10-30 minutes. Sometimes, you can have a day full of them one right after the other. The thing that helped me the most was keeping myself busy.
You'll feel better soon. Hang in there.
The good news is you're not a machine. This process ebs and flows like the ocean. As real as this feels right now, you'll even out before long.
I read somewhere the average craving lasts between 10-30 minutes. Sometimes, you can have a day full of them one right after the other. The thing that helped me the most was keeping myself busy.
You'll feel better soon. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Hi So Hard,
Just wanted to check in and say I am thinking of you. Glad you are posting how you are feeling. I hope this feeling passes quickly for you. You have been really supportive to me as well as a lot of people. I am not sure if you can go for a walk, get a milkshake or something sweet. I am just glad you recognized the hell would start. That is the only constant I can count on every time I pick up a drink.
I hope you are able to have a restful sober sleep and feel really relieved and much better tomorrow Monday morning.
Just wanted to check in and say I am thinking of you. Glad you are posting how you are feeling. I hope this feeling passes quickly for you. You have been really supportive to me as well as a lot of people. I am not sure if you can go for a walk, get a milkshake or something sweet. I am just glad you recognized the hell would start. That is the only constant I can count on every time I pick up a drink.
I hope you are able to have a restful sober sleep and feel really relieved and much better tomorrow Monday morning.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
This too shall pass. It is alright for me to think of wanting to drink, but it is not alright for me to drink. Big distinction between the two. My thoughts are just thoughts. I let them come. I let them go. My actions are what impact my future.
I don't know what I thought on day 195. Those thoughts came. Those thoughts went. Obviously nothing monumental was thought. My actions must have been alright though because I am still sober today some 6,000 days or so later and for that I am so grateful.
Mantra to self: This too shall pass... if I let it.
Congrats on 195 days. How great is that!
I don't know what I thought on day 195. Those thoughts came. Those thoughts went. Obviously nothing monumental was thought. My actions must have been alright though because I am still sober today some 6,000 days or so later and for that I am so grateful.
Mantra to self: This too shall pass... if I let it.
Congrats on 195 days. How great is that!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Thanks all. I’m playing the tape forward to try to stop myself. I KNOW if I drank I’d need to call in sick tomorrow, because I wouldn’t be able to stop. Jesus I’d probably get alcohol poisoning because my body hasn’t had the drug in over 6 months. It’s this horrible substance that has nearly killed me and that would make my anxiety hit the roof if I took it. I’ve saved so much money, gotten a great job, have a perfect puppy, bought my own home, etc.
Yet all I can think about is how much I want a martini and to just have a moment to sort of space out in that martini kind of way. I’m literally crying.
Yet all I can think about is how much I want a martini and to just have a moment to sort of space out in that martini kind of way. I’m literally crying.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
I’m literally crying.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Crying is great, take a bath and go to bed early, whatever it takes to get to tomorrow morning sober. You know it will feel like a huge victory! Which it will be.
We all have feelings like this along the way- and just being with them and going on with those days is the way to get thru them. Better ones will come.
Glad you are here and sharing.
We all have feelings like this along the way- and just being with them and going on with those days is the way to get thru them. Better ones will come.
Glad you are here and sharing.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi So hard
like others have said here I still had bad days in my first year - The difference was I knew I know had a multitude of options besides the bottle.
I posted here, posted to help others, and did the kinds of things I could only do sober - eat a nice meal, go out with trusted friends, see a movie I wanted to see - all those things that come with the freedom of recovery
This end of the year is a little unsettling too - and not only for alcoholics or addicts.
Use your support - you're not alone - you'll get through this
D
like others have said here I still had bad days in my first year - The difference was I knew I know had a multitude of options besides the bottle.
I posted here, posted to help others, and did the kinds of things I could only do sober - eat a nice meal, go out with trusted friends, see a movie I wanted to see - all those things that come with the freedom of recovery
This end of the year is a little unsettling too - and not only for alcoholics or addicts.
Use your support - you're not alone - you'll get through this
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by least
It will get better, I promise you. 
Just stay sober, no matter what!
Just stay sober, no matter what! Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Exercise helps me the most with anxiety, or anger, or any of the “amped up” feelings that come due to stress, or relationship issues...or hormone swings...
I’ve been known to go to the gym at 9 at night if I have to, so I can sweat and breathe and flush all the bad stuff out.
It’s the only thing that genuinely helps me.
I’ve been known to go to the gym at 9 at night if I have to, so I can sweat and breathe and flush all the bad stuff out.
It’s the only thing that genuinely helps me.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
lots of ways to relax, Sohard.
baths can work, nice tea or hot chocolate, stretching, knitting, making a big pot of soup from scratch, making bread, ....do something to take the focus of your “crave-thought”, redirect.
one thing that was really freeing for me was to stop with the “i should feel/expected to feel/hoped to be at the point where i would feel....” messages to myself about what i would be feeling and thinking at any given time in the future.
baths can work, nice tea or hot chocolate, stretching, knitting, making a big pot of soup from scratch, making bread, ....do something to take the focus of your “crave-thought”, redirect.
one thing that was really freeing for me was to stop with the “i should feel/expected to feel/hoped to be at the point where i would feel....” messages to myself about what i would be feeling and thinking at any given time in the future.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Isn’t it more bizarre that ‘just one more time’ is so hard to deny yourself?
And if you know ‘one’ more time isn’t really what this is about, this right now, isn’t it bizarre to be convinced otherwise, or to put such import into trying to convince yourself that You actually want to start the self damage .
You got this Rootin for ya
And if you know ‘one’ more time isn’t really what this is about, this right now, isn’t it bizarre to be convinced otherwise, or to put such import into trying to convince yourself that You actually want to start the self damage .
You got this Rootin for ya
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Originally Posted by Sohard
It’s this horrible substance that has nearly killed me and that would make my anxiety hit the roof if I took it.
Kudos for thinking it all of the way through, and coming here to talk it out.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Some say the Devil's greatest trick is to convince he doesn't exist.
"I can't believe I almost fell for it."
IT was trying to erase the separation, and convince You that it was You and not IT that was freaking out.
Good morning , goodonya
"I can't believe I almost fell for it."
IT was trying to erase the separation, and convince You that it was You and not IT that was freaking out.
Good morning
, goodonya
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I'm really glad you won that battle.
Around six months was the last time I had a serious fight with the addiction. I won and it turned out that was the last time it was Sohard. Lasted several hours, though.
Well done, you.
Around six months was the last time I had a serious fight with the addiction. I won and it turned out that was the last time it was Sohard. Lasted several hours, though.
Well done, you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
