dw2786

Hi all, it's been a long time since I've posted but I always pop in now and again to read the forums.

I've been sober for just over 6 years, on anti depressants for around 3.

When I stopped, I never went to AA or anything but I'm wondering if this is why I've recently been feeling down.

I'm starting to feel like I only addressed the alcohol side of my problems and not why I had an alcohol problem in the first place.

Over the last while I've been struggling within myself, I feel like I don't know who I am and why I act like I do.
I've been thinking back on my life from when I was younger and I definitely had anxiety then but never knew what it was.
As I got older drugs and alcohol let me forget about the anxiety and I felt invincible and confident.

It was only a few years after I stopped drinking that I realised what was happening regarding the anxiety and depression.

I've been struggling with food as well which can feel like I've just replaced drink with binge eating.

Has anyone else felt like this after being sober for a while?

I've spoken to my Dr about therapy but I'm wondering if AA and the steps would help as I've been thinking a lot about some of the horrible things that were my fault when I drank.

Apologies for the rant and thanks for reading.

least

I think therapy and/or AA steps could be what you're looking for. I'm not an AAer but know lots of people who swear AA and the steps keeps them sober.

And if you find a good counselor, they are worth their weight in gold.

Congrats on six years sober!

I found that practicing gratitude every day helped me a lot too.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0

fini

no ‘advice’ as such, dw, but some of what you outline meshes a bit with my own story. i got sober using peer support, and only a few years later understood that not drinking was not the real solution i needed, as drinking had not been my real problem. drinking had been an attempt to solve other problems, so to speak.
so, a few years after getting sober i chose the step-route to tackle the real problems.
and cleaning up things i had done in the past via the suggested program was part of that deal and freed me from a lot of weight.

48heath

Congratulations on your sober time.

I am an AAer,the Programme of Recovery for me has been a life saver.

I have dealt with the past through the steps .I have always attended meetings and been sober over 16years,I couldn’t imagine not having AA in my life.

Go along to an AA meeting,go to several,nothing to lose and Glasgow has a great AA fellowship.

Wishing you well.

Dee74

Hi dw

I;m not an AAer so I can;t speak to that but I did have to deal with a lot of underlying things I used to try and drink away.

I think it's really important to build a sober life - and a sober self - we love and don't want to run away from.

AA helps many people to teach that point.Why not give it a go?
If it's not for you then at least you'll find that out

D

BREATHEO2

Hey dw2786

I can relate.
I've only been clean and sober for just over 6 months but when I first got in recovery I was doing lots of work on myself by going to meetings, seeing a therapists and spiritual work like meditation and reading recovery literature and it felt great and like I was processing the reasons for my using.

The last couple of months I have stopped going to meetings, haven't seen a therapist and started taking it for granted I would stay clean and I have definitely noticed yy addiction acting out in new ways - over eating, exercise, social media distractions etc.
I think your idea of going to meetings and / or seeing a therapist is are great ones and think it might help you really improve the quality of your life because like you say, you've addressed the alcoholism but not the causes of the alcoholism.

dw2786

Thank you for your kind words everyone, it's much appreciated.

I think AA is worth trying and I'm also waiting on an appointment for some therapy.

Thanks again and best of luck and strength to everyone on their journeys.

August252015

Great question and glad for your update!

My contribution here, at 3 yr 8+ mo sober, is that I have needed AA to save my life, and AA + therapy to dig into my real problems . I'm one who believes drinking was how I dealt, but alcohol wasn't my real problems. Truthfully, I'd pick AA over therapy if I had to - which we don't! I've been a little more engaged with my therapist of the past few months, because of life issues and strategies I need to navigate them. A base of AA and spiritual life ("fitness" as we call it) is what I circle it all back to.

I'd suggest anyone learn what AA the program is, at any point in sobriety. That "restless, irritable, discontent" feeling all of us get no matter what our recovery life is better addressed than just going along. You sound like someone who could only benefit from adding something like AA to your sober life.

Best to you.

ciowa

Hello,

Im new to recovery but the way Im thinking about it is that sobriety is the first step to take in a road to finding more balance in my life. For me, just getting sober is not all I want to do. I have other things I want to change about myself like managing anger and conflict in a more productive way. Also, learning to be more emotionally open and vulnerable with family and friends. Im looking to counseling to help with those things in addition to other pursuits outside of therapy.
I wish you well in finding the answers you seek.

dw2786

Thanks again everyone, I've found a meeting right around the corner from me that I'm going to attend this Tuesday.

BullDog777

Most definitely. I'm coming up on 4 years and for me, I started getting restless and discontent about 6 or 7 months ago or close to it. I think that the first couple of years I spent in recovery, I was so focused on saving my life and then trying to figure out a way to live that I let a lot of myself go in those moments. I think I needed to.

After that, It was more therapy, AA and group therapy and the career. Then I still struggled with anxiety and sometimes depression. I tried 6-7 anti anxiety meds to no avail. Basically...nothing works in pill form. I've found that for me, any real happiness, derives from me doing something positive for me or someone I care about. Service to others.

Keep at it, you're doing fine. I think this happens to all of us in long term sobriety.

August252015

Cool! Let us know what you think!

dw2786

Hi everyone, I went along to my first meeting today and I really enjoyed it.
From the minute i walked in the door I was made to feel at ease and very welcomed.

I struggle to put thoughts and feelings into words but hearing some of the shares today helped me understand a lot of what I've been feeling.

Thanks everyone for the recommendation, I have a good feeling that this will help me learn and overcome my demons, thanks again and best of luck to you all.

ruachwind

Hey,
Ya know something that may be a factor in a yet to be determined way is ones age, both physical as well as emotional. As I have encountered, struggled & evolved with life, addiction, recovery and recovery+life; I have found them less intertwined than expected and found living to be simpler than my own delusional thinking had made it. Yes I was a nut before I started drinking but then most teen's and twenty year olds are are.
Point kinda is in my case I did have growing and developing to do. Alcohol had altered that development, not arrested it but then too had the properties of my minds physical development for I have discovered there is no developmental plateau and I look forward to the changes each new day brings to me. It does take both courage and an open mind.

NYCDoglvr

I suggest both therapy and AA. In the end it doesn't matter why we drink, only that we know we're alcoholics. AA helped me change the feelings and actions that can lead to a relapse and I wouldn't be alive without it. Big hug.