Almost 4 years sober and feeling like day 1 Help?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 125
Almost 4 years sober and feeling like day 1 Help?
I have been sober since January 2016. I had terrible PAWS that lasted nearly a year. Life was going well, then boom, I was hit with terrible anxiety and depression. I believe it was an accumulation of life events that finally became too much. Anyway, I was told that the first round of PAWS could last from 6-24 months and that there may be subsequent windows AND waves up through the 10th year. I cannot take any medication as I am extremely sensitive and it makes the symptoms worse. Has anyone experience this? If so, how did you manage? I am thankful to not be experiencing the other symptoms like depersonalization, derealization, paranoia etc but whew, I thought I was in the clear.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
What do you mean by feeling like day 1?
I have no idea how I will feel at 4 years. At nearly 4 months, I had a night of sweating all night last week, headaches and massive anxiety. I would have loved a drink, because this is how \I have resolved this kind of problem. It could be PAWS, premenopause, the flu. But it is not the despair I felt on day 1 (or day 10) when I had no clue if I was even going to make it 24 more hours.
Is it really like day 1?
I have no idea how I will feel at 4 years. At nearly 4 months, I had a night of sweating all night last week, headaches and massive anxiety. I would have loved a drink, because this is how \I have resolved this kind of problem. It could be PAWS, premenopause, the flu. But it is not the despair I felt on day 1 (or day 10) when I had no clue if I was even going to make it 24 more hours.
Is it really like day 1?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 14,321
Continue staying on track with your sobriety
and learning new healthy ways to remain sober,
growing and strengthening your recovery foundation
you are already living on.
Thru out my 29 yrs sobriety and recovery, I, like so
many before me, have all gone thru mental, physical,
emotional and spiritual changes in our own personal
lives.
When I need answers about my recovery program
I always turn toward my AA program because it is
the one that was taught to me and that I incorporate
in my daily life to achieve health, happiness and
honesty.
I also turn to my general physician if I have physical
pain and emotional pain that is bothering me. They
are there to run test to find or pin point where exactly
the pain is occurring. If I needed a hip replacement,
in which I did and was successful, it was done properly
and responsibly letting my doctors know that recovery
for my alcohol addiction is top priority and that I
dont want any medications or prescriptions that will
interfere with my sobriety.
Anxiety and depression is also serious and should
not be taken lightly. Use your physician for that too.
They can pin point the problem and help you find
a healthy solution to achieve a healthy quality of
life.
We never have to go thru life in serious mental,
physical, emotional pain by ourselves and its definitely
okay to ask for help.
Addiction thru out the yrs take a toll on our hearts,
minds and souls. Seeking professional help in all those
areas can result in a healthy, happy way of life in
recovery for ourselves.
and learning new healthy ways to remain sober,
growing and strengthening your recovery foundation
you are already living on.
Thru out my 29 yrs sobriety and recovery, I, like so
many before me, have all gone thru mental, physical,
emotional and spiritual changes in our own personal
lives.
When I need answers about my recovery program
I always turn toward my AA program because it is
the one that was taught to me and that I incorporate
in my daily life to achieve health, happiness and
honesty.
I also turn to my general physician if I have physical
pain and emotional pain that is bothering me. They
are there to run test to find or pin point where exactly
the pain is occurring. If I needed a hip replacement,
in which I did and was successful, it was done properly
and responsibly letting my doctors know that recovery
for my alcohol addiction is top priority and that I
dont want any medications or prescriptions that will
interfere with my sobriety.
Anxiety and depression is also serious and should
not be taken lightly. Use your physician for that too.
They can pin point the problem and help you find
a healthy solution to achieve a healthy quality of
life.
We never have to go thru life in serious mental,
physical, emotional pain by ourselves and its definitely
okay to ask for help.
Addiction thru out the yrs take a toll on our hearts,
minds and souls. Seeking professional help in all those
areas can result in a healthy, happy way of life in
recovery for ourselves.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Hey Pooh - I'm a month behind you. I've shared on here a lot that for me, PAWS was very real and I was definitely someone with the 24 mo kind of progress. I consider myself a "5 year person" for the true phase of long term sobriety to simply begin. I will turn 50 the year of 10 (I turned 40 the first yr!) so I look forward to that very much. I was so sick that this slow stage philosophy makes sense. I'm a pretty good person and sober living chick now, certainly - I just believe that I need more time than others to be less and less fragile.
I've not felt quite like on day one again, round about here where we are, but I think I know what you mean. I've long (well, I don't consider us in long term sobriety, actually) framed it as "emotional sobriety is what I seek, as it precludes physical by leaps and bounds." That means, tho, that some weeks or days are tough. Anxiety and sleep issues plague me. This wk, actually, has been an up and down emotional struggle - I have had to make very conscious effort to haul myself back with help. Today, I probably won't leave the house but I am engaging in social media work for work (ha), and got dressed and hair in a cute pony, and am eating small meals. That is truly doing my best today!!
You know what we have to do - sharing with others first is my rule! Which you've done. We know that now is better in every way than the winter of 2016.
PM me if you want bc you def ring bells with me! Glad you are here.
I've not felt quite like on day one again, round about here where we are, but I think I know what you mean. I've long (well, I don't consider us in long term sobriety, actually) framed it as "emotional sobriety is what I seek, as it precludes physical by leaps and bounds." That means, tho, that some weeks or days are tough. Anxiety and sleep issues plague me. This wk, actually, has been an up and down emotional struggle - I have had to make very conscious effort to haul myself back with help. Today, I probably won't leave the house but I am engaging in social media work for work (ha), and got dressed and hair in a cute pony, and am eating small meals. That is truly doing my best today!!
You know what we have to do - sharing with others first is my rule! Which you've done. We know that now is better in every way than the winter of 2016.
PM me if you want bc you def ring bells with me! Glad you are here.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
^^^Definitely! One of the best things I committed to when I got sober was finding a great team of drs for anything and everything, being honest with them and doing what they said. From my GP to my eye dr (to whom I blurted out I was 3 yr sober but maybe that wasn't the reason I needed glasses, ha!) to my back dr.....it is truly invaluable to take care of ourselves physically.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,712
Hi stillpooh
I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety and depression. I also recommend seeing a Dr - they may be able to help even with your wish for no meds.
at 4 years sober, despite what someone told you about 10 years, there may be other factors besides PAWs.
do you do any breathing exercises or any other techniques to help with the anxiety?
D
I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety and depression. I also recommend seeing a Dr - they may be able to help even with your wish for no meds.
at 4 years sober, despite what someone told you about 10 years, there may be other factors besides PAWs.
do you do any breathing exercises or any other techniques to help with the anxiety?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by BackandScared 
What do you mean by feeling like day 1?
Is it really like day 1?
Is it really like day 1?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 6,524
Originally Posted by stillpooh19
The first few days were HELL! It is starting to ease up where the anxiety is high in the morning and eases as the day goes along. Brain fog, fatigue, no appetite. I think i am just looking for confirmation that this does happen.
Because I am feeling bad my AV is over-actively suggesting I drink to make myself feel better. The idea is there but not that complete compulsion as it is in early sobriety, although I know I am in the danger zone.
Stay vigilant, safe and sober. Know that these feelings will pass.
(This is what I am trying to tell myself right now).
Best Wishes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr
Therapy is an integral part of my recovery, talking to an objective person is invaluable.
Originally Posted by BackandScared
Hi still (and Kaily)... I really hope you are feeling much better today, after a sober Sunday. Sober sundays are always a kind of reward to me with its own magic powers
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 34
Pushing 20 months
Hey stillPooh. Reading this has made me feel better. I’m about to hit 20 months and this has changed my life. I have felt depression, anxiety derealization, cognitive issues, and light sensitivity. I normally have a good month and then I have a bad month and I go through all of those symptoms over and over again. I haven’t been on here in a while because I was feeling good but the past three weeks I’ve been battling another episode. I feel like it’s easing up again but I know it’s not the last time I’ll feel like this.The best thing that helps me is reading this knowing someone else has been in my shoes and has made it out to the other side. Another thing that helps me is on my good days I don’t feel any of the symptoms, But when it comes back I feel like I’m never going to feel good again. I would’ve thought some of the symptoms subsided but they have not yet. I still get bad derealization and anxiety when I’m having episodes and it always follows with light sensitivity.Sometimes I scare myself into thinking that I gave myself some type of brain damage, but I want to make myself believe that it’s just a really bad chemical in balance. I hope you start feel better and I Hope you can put this in the past One day. But by reading what you said I can understand exactly what you’re going through. I don’t even crave alcohol anymore, going through this has even scared me into not wanting to take any medicine, I don’t drink any coffee, and I don’t eat anything with alcohol made in it (most pasta sauces),I wear a certain type of deodorant that has no alcohol in the ingredients, I don’t use hand sanitizer. I do my best to stay away from alcohol anything, it has made me quite paranoid.It’s not a good thing but I tell myself maybe I’ll heal faster if I don’t consume any in anyway. Hope it gets easier for you and hope this is your last episode for a long time. Wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
I can relate at almost 3 years in. My depression seems to largely have been a symptom of me drinking a depressant, but the anxiety still lurks in the background.
What works best for me comes from the realm of the cliches — exercise, meditation, self-care, routine, a meeting/connections with sober people ... I've even been contemplating spirituality lately, and not in any sort of paranormal/afterlife/religious way, but from a health perspective. Mental wellness, I guess. Spiritual self-care.
It's odd, at one point diet and exercise and reading on SR were enough, but lately it isn't. So I'm reinforcing things a bit.
What works best for me comes from the realm of the cliches — exercise, meditation, self-care, routine, a meeting/connections with sober people ... I've even been contemplating spirituality lately, and not in any sort of paranormal/afterlife/religious way, but from a health perspective. Mental wellness, I guess. Spiritual self-care.
It's odd, at one point diet and exercise and reading on SR were enough, but lately it isn't. So I'm reinforcing things a bit.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by Matthew123
Hey stillPooh. Reading this has made me feel better. I’m about to hit 20 months and this has changed my life. I have felt depression, anxiety derealization, cognitive issues, and light sensitivity. I normally have a good month and then I have a bad month and I go through all of those symptoms over and over again. I haven’t been on here in a while because I was feeling good but the past three weeks I’ve been battling another episode. I feel like it’s easing up again but I know it’s not the last time I’ll feel like this.The best thing that helps me is reading this knowing someone else has been in my shoes and has made it out to the other side. Another thing that helps me is on my good days I don’t feel any of the symptoms, But when it comes back I feel like I’m never going to feel good again. I would’ve thought some of the symptoms subsided but they have not yet. I still get bad derealization and anxiety when I’m having episodes and it always follows with light sensitivity.Sometimes I scare myself into thinking that I gave myself some type of brain damage, but I want to make myself believe that it’s just a really bad chemical in balance. I hope you start feel better and I Hope you can put this in the past One day. But by reading what you said I can understand exactly what you’re going through. I don’t even crave alcohol anymore, going through this has even scared me into not wanting to take any medicine, I don’t drink any coffee, and I don’t eat anything with alcohol made in it (most pasta sauces),I wear a certain type of deodorant that has no alcohol in the ingredients, I don’t use hand sanitizer. I do my best to stay away from alcohol anything, it has made me quite paranoid.It’s not a good thing but I tell myself maybe I’ll heal faster if I don’t consume any in anyway. Hope it gets easier for you and hope this is your last episode for a long time. Wish you the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by rascalwhiteoak
I can relate at almost 3 years in. My depression seems to largely have been a symptom of me drinking a depressant, but the anxiety still lurks in the background.
What works best for me comes from the realm of the cliches — exercise, meditation, self-care, routine, a meeting/connections with sober people ... I've even been contemplating spirituality lately, and not in any sort of paranormal/afterlife/religious way, but from a health perspective. Mental wellness, I guess. Spiritual self-care.
It's odd, at one point diet and exercise and reading on SR were enough, but lately it isn't. So I'm reinforcing things a bit.
What works best for me comes from the realm of the cliches — exercise, meditation, self-care, routine, a meeting/connections with sober people ... I've even been contemplating spirituality lately, and not in any sort of paranormal/afterlife/religious way, but from a health perspective. Mental wellness, I guess. Spiritual self-care.
It's odd, at one point diet and exercise and reading on SR were enough, but lately it isn't. So I'm reinforcing things a bit.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 324
Originally Posted by stillpooh19
I am starting to feel better these days. I have gone from debilitating anxiety waking me up around 5am to sleeping a full 8 hours and being able to function. I did a little research and went back to the health protocol I started when I first got sober. I stopped because I thought I was in the clear, but apparently I still have some work to do. Working on my gut and good brain health to mitigate this experience. This time I will continue as a part of my daily regime. I hope you are feeling better.
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