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Seeing my sober eyes

Old 10-27-2019, 10:41 AM
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Seeing my sober eyes

I had another singing gig last night. Itís been kind of a long emotional journey with singing, I am an ok singer but not fantastic, so I donít get the praise and buttering up that my alcoholic personality likes to get, and I was surprised to find my inner drama queen coming out to play a couple of times in the last few months even publicly with the band. Doesnít sobriety fix that??? Not always, ha! My husband, quite used to seeing this side of me for 23 years, deftly handled and dismissed my behavior of course so I owned up and admitted I was causing drama.

Last night was a wild and raucous Halloween bar packed with costumed people. I dressed up like a v0odoo queen and everyone thought I looked like Stevie nicks with red hair which was awesome. There were scores of very hammered people hugging me and swaying and not making sense, fawning and forgetting what they were saying and just throwing down alcohol. None of that looked appealing at all. I donít miss drinking at all. I drank water to keep my voice clear and was quite fine with it, I brought my mom and she was thrilled to see me costumed and singing, she just went on and on about how much fun she had.

Before this gig, I had a contact lens appointment for my eyes, because now that my reading vision is terrible as well as distance I wasnít able to use contacts. Iím nearly always in glasses.

So she fitted me and I was finally able to see my face. I havenít seen my face for a long time. I looked in the mirror for a long time, and my heart just opened. I could finally see the sobriety in my eyes.

My kids said ďmom it looks weird to see you without glasses put them back on.Ē

I said, I donít know kids....it feels good to see my sober eyes.Ē

Clear. Wide. No more sagging and swelling lids. Open, kind, honest eyes. I donít know how to explain to you guys what itís like to have a severe optical correction but sometimes it feels like youíre looking at a new world, but this was as if I was finally seeing the new me.

Take care and happy Sunday all. Stay sober. Itís all gonna be ok if you just put down the alcohol.
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Old 10-27-2019, 10:53 AM
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Oh you explained it perfectly, Sassy. Absolutely beautiful post, in which youíre shining through your sober eyes, the real you, Sassy.
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Old 10-27-2019, 08:35 PM
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ďI looked in the mirror for a long time, and my heart just opened. I could finally see the sobriety in my eyes.Ē

oh what a beautiful experience, Sass!
your heart opening to your self.
thanks for sharing with us.
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Old 10-27-2019, 08:42 PM
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thanks for sharing that Sass - and congrats on another gig
D
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Old 10-27-2019, 10:20 PM
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Wonderful post, thanks!

I used to buy over the counter, clear eyes, Visine eye drops to clear my blood shot eyes daily..Just thinking about it, I havenít purchased in over 5 years.. thatís a beautiful thing!
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Old 10-27-2019, 11:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Dave42001 View Post
Wonderful post, thanks!

I used to buy over the counter, clear eyes, Visine eye drops to clear my blood shot eyes daily..Just thinking about it, I havenít purchased in over 5 years.. thatís a beautiful thing!
Yep, I had hooded eyelids: uneven, one more than the other. I have this to some degree genetically but now my eyes look lifted.

I was looking at pics from 2017 recently. My eyes were red, my face was a weird color...tinged a bit yellow or grey maybe, a lot more wrinkles, and my neck and chest were always red and rough.

My upper chest now; the skin between my chest and neck is clear and smooth. The skin tone is almost uniform with my face. They say that middle aged women just have bad skin in the dťcolletage, I think itís because most middle aged women drink bottles of wine in the evenings....

Nothing makes your skin rougher than chronic drinking.
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Old 10-28-2019, 05:25 AM
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Brilliant, Sass. I went to a recital a friend invited me to listen to- lots of songs from hundreds of years ago, and a piano piece she played. I was moved to tears, reconnecting with emotions and being in the moment with the music. Glad you like your eyes.
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Old 10-28-2019, 11:16 AM
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What a beautiful post, thanks Sassy!
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Old 10-30-2019, 12:32 AM
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"honest eyes" - beautiful.

I have honest eyes too now. Lovely post.
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