Scared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 125
Scared
Scared, 2nd time through this after free for almost 2 years..
Day 6...trying to sleep, still feel awful. Appetite is coming back, but food isn't agreeing with me completely.
Just need positive encouragement to keep me from contemplating damage to myself, etc.
Day 6...trying to sleep, still feel awful. Appetite is coming back, but food isn't agreeing with me completely.
Just need positive encouragement to keep me from contemplating damage to myself, etc.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,417
Sad- You have 2 years under your belt so it's not like you are starting all over- sorry for what you're going through, but what did you learn in those 2 years that can help you now- and what do you need to change so this doesn't happen again? 6 days out is great- keep going. Everyone stumbles- it's the ability to pick yourself up and keep going that makes you different. You came here for a reason- you know you must change and you have so many tools- now it's time to add to the toolbox- get some support, whatever kind you feel comfortable with and keep moving forward. You can totally do this- have no shame- just go forward. We are all here for you so please do reach out. I know you can succeed.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
You've got almost a week sober and that's a great start. 
I hope our support can help you stay sober for good. 
I drank again after 20 yrs sober.
It took me almost three years to get sober again, but I did it and this December I'll have 10 yrs sober. It is possible.
Take good care of yourself. Good food, rest, and exercise will go far to restore you to good health.
I hope our support can help you stay sober for good. I drank again after 20 yrs sober.
It took me almost three years to get sober again, but I did it and this December I'll have 10 yrs sober. It is possible.Take good care of yourself. Good food, rest, and exercise will go far to restore you to good health.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
You can do this! Wow...TWO YEARS sober and free??!! You’re an inspiration to me. I’m at almost 6 months. I pray I’m as successful as you were and can surely be again. You’ve climbed this mountain already. You already know the challenging parts and what to do in crazy weather. Just put your head down and keep climbing and you’ll pass up your last height and go even further. Relatively, it’ll be a breeze. Remember it gets easier. It gets ENJOYABLE.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I relapsed after seven months once and would drink for more years than I care to remember.
Listen to Least who drank after twenty years sober.
Sorry you're feeling so bad, but remember, you never have to feel this way again.
Congratulations on day six, you're off to a great start. We're all here for you, so keep close and reading and posting if you like.
Listen to Least who drank after twenty years sober.
Sorry you're feeling so bad, but remember, you never have to feel this way again.
Congratulations on day six, you're off to a great start. We're all here for you, so keep close and reading and posting if you like.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,417
Oh, I know those tears only too well. But you are here and that's what's important, so go to sleep and tomorrow will be day 7. A week! That's great. Keep coming, keep posting and consider joining the class of October or the 24 hour commitment thread. I swear, those people saved my life. Be proud of your sober time and your commitment to yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 125
I guess my fear lies in knowing that this feels as if its my absolute last chance...terrified of damage I've done. Hope my body feels better soon...then maybe my brain, spirit and heart.
Thank you for the encouragement. I live alone and don't know anyone in the town I moved to months ago...makes this a bit harder.
Thank you for the encouragement. I live alone and don't know anyone in the town I moved to months ago...makes this a bit harder.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Sadforldr 
I guess my fear lies in knowing that this feels as if its my absolute last chance...terrified of damage I've done. Hope my body feels better soon...then maybe my brain, spirit and heart.
Thank you for the encouragement. I live alone and don't know anyone in the town I moved to months ago...makes this a bit harder.
Thank you for the encouragement. I live alone and don't know anyone in the town I moved to months ago...makes this a bit harder.
And, please really read this: do NOT feel ashamed, as you wrote a few posts up. DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED. You have an addiction to a substance that society shoves in our faces at every turn. You relapsed. In no other illness does someone get sick and they feel shame, and neither should you. You are here and fighting for your life. You should feel proud.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
You can do this Sadforldr. I had 6 and a half years sober and went back out for a year. Then I got sober again for 7 years and went back out again for 8 years. I just passed 6 and a half years sober again a few days ago. I understand the fear of feeling this is my absolute last chance. That fear is actually what motivated me to give sobriety one more shot and go ALL IN on recovery, because things got so bad with that 8 year relapse that I knew it was now or never. Feeling it's your absolute last chance is not necessarily a bad thing if you use that as motivation. I feel very fortunate that I got multiple chances and I'm making the most of that opportunity this time, because realistically not everyone gets 2nd (or in my case 3rd) chances.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Sadforldr
Thank you both.
Ashamed...I was at 18 months and then gave in little by little.
Feel like hell. Body hurts...can't sleep.
In tears tonight for failing myself.
Ashamed...I was at 18 months and then gave in little by little.
Feel like hell. Body hurts...can't sleep.
In tears tonight for failing myself.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Originally Posted by Sadforldr
Day 7...still fell like hell. Achy, tired, headaches...all earned and deserved. Scared I won't feel better this time.
Just make sure you're taking care of yourself--water, good food, rest etc.
I hope you feel better soon.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Sadforldr: 7 days with 2 years of experience! Body and mind will start leveling out....I'm at 1 month and feeling so much better than that first week. Stay close to those that support your efforts....healthy food and hydration goes a long way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Sadforldr
I guess my fear lies in knowing that this feels as if its my absolute last chance...terrified of damage I've done. Hope my body feels better soon...then maybe my brain, spirit and heart.
Thank you for the encouragement. I live alone and don't know anyone in the town I moved to months ago...makes this a bit harder.
Thank you for the encouragement. I live alone and don't know anyone in the town I moved to months ago...makes this a bit harder.
Conquering the addiction with this six day start is positive. It is life affirming, it is a giant step away from the addiction and the darkness. Fear, shame, sadness and guilt aren’t part of your journey now. You’re moving toward the light.
It’s ok to feel it, but don’t let it sink you under. If the feelings start to overwhelm, it’s usually that craving in your brain trying to get you to go back to the drink.
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