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Old 10-17-2019, 01:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Multiple DUI/DWIs - Does It Get Better?


Hi guys! I am now 92 days sober. It took a second DUI for me to wake up. I sold my car and now take public transportation. Charges are currently pending against me.

Will things get better? I can not change the past. Now, I want to pay my dues to society, continue to be sober, and work hard.

I am in a dark place. I am scared that no business will ever hire me again. I have not told my family.

Have any of you been in my shoes or know someone who has? Do things get better?
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Old 10-17-2019, 01:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
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2 DUIs and suicidal the day after my last drunk. that was 14+ years ago.
it didnt get better overnight but i had faith it would if i put in the footwork.
my life is better than i could have ever imagined. more importantly I am better than i could have ever imagined. i love myself today-warts and all.
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Old 10-17-2019, 02:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aspiringwriter8 View Post
Hi guys! I am now 92 days sober. It took a second DUI for me to wake up. I sold my car and now take public transportation. Charges are currently pending against me.

Will things get better? I can not change the past. Now, I want to pay my dues to society, continue to be sober, and work hard.

I am in a dark place. I am scared that no business will ever hire me again. I have not told my family.

Have any of you been in my shoes or know someone who has? Do things get better?

I got sober at the age of 35 years old and grabbed whatever jobs came my way. Took a good 4-5 years before I got back on my feet.

I hire a recovering meth addict from time to time do maintenance work He's skilled and knows what he's doing but with his record it's difficult to find employment.

Now, if the man screws up once he's gone. I will not hire him again.

He (we...) have got to stay sober if we're going to have a second chance at life.
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Old 10-17-2019, 02:08 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Paying your dues to society involves sobriety. If you asked any random person on the street what you owed them after such a societal breach, they’d say “first of all, stay sober and don’t go back to drinking.”

I think worrying about what lies ahead will make it worse, it’s borrowing trouble for time that hasn’t existed yet. Stay sober and do one small thing every day that moves you forward. Maybe an online course. Maybe it’s self discipline in other ways such as keeping a clean home, exercising, or working on responding to family and friends in healthy ways. Maybe you have bills that need to be paid so you start at the bottom with work you don’t prefer, but it gives you a regular income.

Keep a record of what you do on each day that moves you forward, not back. You can rebuild, but the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

Once everyone begins to trust you again, you’ll have the resources and the confidence to live a responsible life, however trust takes time.
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Old 10-17-2019, 02:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Take it one day at a time, and you can get through this. Live authentically and sober, and yes, it will get better. Continue to drink and it probably will keep heaping on you.

You can do this. Take a deep breath, show up for all the Court asks of you. Many success stories out there. Look on the internet for "Dave's Killer Bread". He's quite a success story from Oregon.
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Old 10-17-2019, 03:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi aspiringwriter. I'm glad you posted about what's going on.

I had 2 dui's too. Fines, license suspension, mandatory AA meetings, etc. For the 2nd one I had to go to counseling sessions & even a brief incarceration. It terrified me enough that I finally gave up the idea that I'd ever have control over my drinking. I agree with the others - yes, it will get better. Congratulations on your 92 sober days. I hope you'll continue to post - we care.
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Old 10-17-2019, 04:49 PM   #7 (permalink)
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By the time I scored my drugs and stopped to get high on the way home, took field sobriety test, and actually got tested I was slightly below the legal limit.

They charged me with dwi anyway, then surprise, suprise, suprise, they charged me with felony drug possession as well. I had a decent job in a field where the most important prerequisite is won't steal from you. Today I have a better job.

I had 4 months sober by the time I went before the judge. My lawyer had me document, I think it was 77 aa meetings I made it to and got signed for by then.

I just got to a point where I didn't care anymore what life was going to do to me. I was just going to trust in God and live to serve God. I'm not entitled to a car or a middle class income. I'm lucky God gave me the things that I do have.

The judge was delighted at the progress I seemed to be making in recovery. The prosecution agreed to accept a downgrade to reckless driving, my lawyer argued to reduce the suspension further. The judge not only sided with my lawyer but further reduced the suspension to almost nothing. I live in one of those states that allows you to plead guilty to your first non violent felony with probation and it's not permanent on your record.
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Old 10-17-2019, 11:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hey Friend, first, congratulations on 92 days sober!

Thanks for sharing. There is hope and you will make it through this mess!

Three HUGE positive things I see right away. You’re alive, you didn’t kill anyone and you’re 3 months + sober.

This is how I would approach this.. this just my opinion..

Continue to stay sober! Get involved with a local support group, face to face. my method was and still is AA and SR, here! There are many methods out there.

As Reckless mentioned above, especially while you’re in this legal mess, be proactive and get engaged with a local program and document every meeting. Judges do love this and it will go a long way if you need it.

Get a Lawyer. Most will look at the case for free and will spend 30 minutes + on the phone or in person free. Talk to a handful of them.

I would fight this thing till the bitter end, if there’s a chance of winning, again this is my personal opinion.

As far as the job I wouldn’t say a word to anyone. If you’re in the US you do have rights. Being charged with something is much different than being found guilty of or pleading guilty to a crime.

This too shall pass! Wishing you the best.
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Old 10-18-2019, 10:35 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I know many many people in AA with far worse stories who are now many years sober and have great lives.

Yes, it gets better!

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Old 10-22-2019, 04:58 PM   #10 (permalink)
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You don't have legal or work problems that can't be overcome, worked around, put to good use as growth tools, etc., as long as you get and stay sober.

If you drink again or use drugs again, these types of problems will undoubtedly resurface and you will start losing even more things that are important to you.

In other words, you'll start to really know loss.

On the other hand, if you get and stay sober, you will have much more than you ever hoped for, because you will know how to live your life on this earth to good purpose.

The choice is yours, amigo.

If you want help in pursuing option 2 (sobriety and recovery), hang around here and we will do everything we can to help.
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