Meatball2

I am on the fence about this, as I have a very public persona that could be negatively affected by this.

Dee74

You wrote in another thread about neighbour difficulties arising from drinking.
Isn't your public persona being affected by your drinking?

I'd rather be known for being in recovery than being drunk,
D

suki44883

How could seeking help be a negative?

SnazzyDresser

I went to my first AA meeting just this summer after roughly 2 and a half years sober thanks to SR. It was fascinating in several ways, but I can definitely see that sticking with SR was the right road for me to take back then, perfect for my unique not-quite-antisocial personality!

I ended up going to around 10 or 12 meetings over June and July. The one that was closest to me, that had the best coffee and snacks (haha that's important!) and that I felt most comfortable in, turns out they weren't wild about me just showing up for meetings and already being sober. They wanted me working the steps and getting a sponsor and just having a lot higher profile than I was looking for. But that's fine, I still polished up my social skills and learned a lot about AA there. It was a speaker-type meeting which I found I much preferred to the sharing-type.

But when I was struggling, back in 2016, I told myself that I was gonna do whatever it took to get my life back and put this alcohol nonsense behind me, even things that seemed impossible to me with my introverted personality. If SR hadn't worked, I was prepared to go AA and then rehab or whatever else. Whatever it took, I was all in. Thank God SR worked for me, I'll always be eternally grateful for this site and the people here. I'm welling up with emotion just typing this haha! Getting verklempt as they say.

least

I voted 'other' cause there was no option of having gone to AA in the past, but not currently going. I went the first year I was sober. I no longer go, but being active here makes up my recovery.

Look what a good friend of mine made for me with my first year chips! I've been trying unsuccessfully to find my former addiction counselor to give it to her, but she's disappeared. So for now, it's on my desk. Isn't it cool?

Stayingsassy

Other. . I went to AA for a couple months in the beginning for group support but didn’t do the program.

I’ve also attended meetings in the past when newly sober. (I’ve been newly sober a lot. I’ve never made it this far).

They were always so kind and welcoming, it was comforting in those difficult and surreal early days.

fini

i went to AA in order to take that way to stay quit, not for the actual event of quitting.

suki44883

What is more important to you, your public persona or recovery?

ColoradoRocky

I get it, you're a big shot! That's okay.

Where I first went to AA there were two sets of meetings. No one was supposed to know about them, and obviously they aren't in the meeting lists, but there were "private" invitation-only meetings for rich and public people (you know who they are) and there were meetings for the rest of us people nobody gives a damn about.

My guess is if you discretely ask around you could find a private AA meeting.

Go for it; it sounds to me like you need it...and so does your neighborhood!

p.s. I know all of this is supposedly against the basic principals of AA, and it could be easy to develop resentments over it, but, frankly, I didn't give a rat's ass about how "important" I was; I just wanted to stop drinking.

ColoradoRocky

Sorry...AA isn't supposed to have chiefs or principals, only principles!

Briansy

A lot of famous people go to AA in London meetings. I think really only other AAers know - shouldn't be a problem.

I went to over 150 meetings and started going through the steps with a sponsor. After I decided it wasn't for me I was kinda on pause in my life as I wasn't sure what direction to go in but reading lots of books on the subject really helped get me in gear and working in the right direction. This naked mind and the unexpected joy of being sober are my two favourites. I also like Alcohol explained and a short movie called Pleasure unwoven.

Best of luck to you. But I would just saythat whilst AA happens to be the answer for some, it's not THE answer.

tomsteve

negatively affected by seeking help for a problem.hmmmmm.....

ive been to hundreds of meetings. guarantee ive met your public persona in the rooms.

AAPJ

Meatball there have been other polls concerning AA on this site and best I can tell about half of the successful SR members used/use AA. It is the single largest recovery group/method around. That said a lot of folks for various reasons do not use AA and you seem to have great concerns about your privacy. If you want to maintain your privacy then I suggest that you find a professionally trained therapist and pay them for weekly visits. They have a professional obligation to maintain your privacy but from a legal standpoint, there really is not much you can do if you attend the local AA meeting and someone recognizes you and talks about your attendance to others.

So in the end it's a financial decision. Pay a professional therapist and have an obligation of privacy or go to cheap/free AA meetings and take your chances.

Coldfusion

My wife and I went to ninety AA meetings in our first ninety days. We felt it gave our sobriety a solid foundation. Seven years later, we're still sober. I am active in AA but she does not go to meetings very often.

aasharon90

My family placed me into the hands of those capable
of helping me, teaching me about addiction 29 yrs ago.

With a court ordered rehab stay for 2 weeks, I begged
to stay the entire 28 days just so I wouldn't be sent further
away from my little family. Pleading that I would do whatever
was necessary to complete my program of 28 days with
a 6 week outpatient aftercare program attached.

I had reached a point in my life where I was sick and tired
of life? family?trying to stay stopped from drinking? just
everything and wanted an escape or to just sleep. I desperately
wanted to sleep for a long period of time with no distractions.

When I entered rehab those folks handed me a guideline,
a program of recovery to incorporate in my daily life and
in all my affairs promising that as long as I used this program,
then I would never have to pick up a drink of alcohol again
or have my misery refunded.

I took this program of recovery, AA, the only program I
chose to use because it works for me, BUT, I remain open
to many other healthy, helpful suggestions used by many
to enhance my own life in recovery.

I look at it as this.....if folks are needing help from addiction,
then incorporating some sort of recovery program they chose
to use and is helpful in putting their addiction to rest, then
i'm all in for it. Just dont do nothing and expect to be cured
of addiction.

Get the help available and grow from there. Build a
strong solid recovery foundation to live your life upon
for each day sober moving forward....and to know that
no one ever has to go thru this process alone or by themselves.

Support from each other with a common purpose is
huge and powerful.

ColoradoRocky

I know. When I stopped drinking there were no other options, and no internet web.

Back in the late 1940s, one of my uncles, a little Italian dentist, after he fought in the War, got hooked on the white pain pills he prescribed for his patients. He joined AA to get off the pills, for the same reason, nothing else around.

Hey, it worked.

Tynesider22

I'm not a regular attender, haven't been in months, but I have been to a few meetings.

Good to know they are there if I need them.

MindfulMan

It's way more complicated than that for many people.

TL/DR version...You get a lot more out of therapy than sobriety, so factor that in if it's just a cost decision. Although AA is a solid recovery strategy, it's not for everyone, there are other paths. First look at your reasons for not going like reputation and shame, and reevaluate. If AA truly isn't for you, try another path, but have SOME program of recovery. SR is a great resource for researching recovery methods. Make a commitment and start your journey.

The long version....So about half of the successful site members used AA. Putting aside that I'm not sure where you got that statistic and how you define "successful," which means about half of the site didn't use AA.

I put "other." My journey began with inpatient rehab, which was 12 Step based (as in many rehabs, most people did not have alcohol as their primary substance, in my case it is). So as part of their program, I did a number of 12 Step meetings. From the beginning, it didn't feel quite right, but I just went with it and gave it a go. When got out of inpatient I continued with meetings until I could start my outpatient rehab 6 weeks later. I got a sponsor and started working the steps, but again, it felt like a square peg in a round hole. At that time I joined Sober Recovery and started applying the AVRT principle, and investigated SMART meetings. The outpatient program was cognitive-based and dual diagnosis, and I learned a lot of tools to manage cravings as well as underlying anxiety and depression. After I got a therapist who had been through 12 Step recovery for sex addiction, and we used some basic 4th Step work in the beginning, but that was more a framework for what we were doing. I needed therapy to deal with and work through a lot of old trauma, and has been helpful to me in far deeper ways than sobriety.

So yes, AA is free and therapy is not, but I got a lot out of therapy that I wouldn't have out of attending AA meetings. Looking back AA was useful in the beginning just to get to Step 1. I got that about two weeks into rehab, once I'd been through detox and my head started to clear. At that point I made the "big plan" per AVRT to never drink again, although at the time I'd never heard AVRT. I just decided that I didn't ever want to do rehab again, and the only way to be sure of that was to never touch drop of alcohol again in my life. I really needed rehab to detox and to cement in my thick skull that I REALLY had an addiction problem and it wasn't going to go away on its own. The 12 Step was helpful, but I don't believe it was essential. I've even modified Step 1. I'm not powerless over alcohol, I very much have the power to never drink a drop of booze again. HOWEVER, if I take one sip, all bets are off. So instead of a whole program of steps, it boils down to one thing. Don't take that first sip. Once I got to that point, the rest was making sure I stayed there. At this point I know I will never drink again. Ever. It's just a fact, and it's not negotiable.

Now that was my journey. There are people I very much trust and admire in life, on the site, and even in this thread who have successfully used AA to remain alcohol-free and build their sober lives. AA worked for them, and I'm not going to knock AA just because it didn't work for me. AA has worked for millions and has been around for a long time. But it's not for everyone, just as my journey isn't for everyone.

There is only one road to recovery, and it's called whatever works for you.

That all being said, don't knock it until you try it. If your only reason not to go to meetings is your reputation, I don't think that's a strong enough reason. Admitting you have a problem and taking steps to deal with it is a HUGE sign of strength and an accomplishment that most people never have to earn. I took the opposite path and told everyone that I was in recovery. Addiction is nothing to be proud of, but having a problem that difficult and successfully solving it shows tremendous courage and dedication and strength of character. Also the more people around me that know the better, as they'll know if I show up hungover on a Monday, for example, and will not let me get away with it. Although I know I will never drink again, insurance is always a good thing. Recovery isn't just something I did, it's part of who I am. The response I've gotten when I tell people, including a lot of perfect strangers with whom I've been in conversations is overwhelmingly supportive and positive. Remember that many people are touched by addiction who aren't addicts themselves, and I get a lot of stories like "My mom was an alcoholic and I saw what she went through, so good for you!"

Again, that's my strategy, it might not work for you. That's OK. But do SOMETHING to further your sobriety, craft your own program if AA is an absolute no for you. This problem won't cure itself. SR is a great resource. Share your experiences and really define the extent of your problem. Then come up with a recovery plan, and share THAT on the site, make yourself accountable.

But get on the bus somehow, and take steps to be sure you don't get off.

Daisybelle

I voted other because I did initially go to A.A but didn't stay the course. S.R works for me. Regarding your very public persona, do you not think that it would be good to lead by example, I have no doubt that you would gain a great deal more respect by being open and honest than you do from being a drunken nuisance.

MyLittleHorsie

I did a couple meetings, read the book. I had reservations because I have a public profile, I am now a member of council, but even when I got sober I sat on various boards and committees. I just went into the city for meetings. In the end I tried it and I decided it wasn't a path I wanted to pursue.

It doesn't matter what path, you just have to get rid of excuses and find a path. Don't talk yourself out of recovery, AA might be the most well known, but 8t is not the only way to recover.