Hard time accepting emotions
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 32
Hard time accepting emotions
I've been trying to stop for prolly over a year. I have a couple times but only for a couple weeks. I drink 4 beers on average at night to dull my mind because I have very bad anxiety. I've drank a larger amount in the past but have been able to stuck to about 4 beers. I can't not drink, at least my body feels that way. I don't want to drink anymore but can't find a way to cope with my emotions. My father in law just got diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. There's a whole mess in that situation which is tearing me up inside. I've read that it's best to keep your life calm while trying to quit drinking to concentrate on controlling your thoughts and urges to not drink. But really, whose life is calm! I'm trying really hard to let things go I can't control. But drinking seems to be the only thing so far that takes my anxiety down a notch and cope with my crazy life. I've tried anxiety meds but they created problems in other areas. I guess I'm just venting. I don't know. Sometimes I wonder why I come here cause I know what I need to do but can't seem to get there. I feel like I've tried everything. My life keeps throwing so many problems my way and trying to accept my raw emotions with all those problems has got me overwhelmed.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Anxiety is tough to live with but there are lots of things you can do to help:
Take a Time-Out. Try some yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem can help clear your head.
Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. Limit caffeine.
Get enough sleep/rest. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. Use an iPod or exercise buddy to help you stick to your routine.
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn’t possible, be proud of however close you get.
Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
Welcome humour. A good laugh goes a long way.
Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school or something else you can’t identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed. Look for a pattern.
Talk to someone. Tell friends/family you’re feeling overwhelmed and let them know how they can help. Talk to a professional.
Take a Time-Out. Try some yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem can help clear your head.
Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. Limit caffeine.
Get enough sleep/rest. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. Use an iPod or exercise buddy to help you stick to your routine.
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn’t possible, be proud of however close you get.
Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
Welcome humour. A good laugh goes a long way.
Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school or something else you can’t identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed. Look for a pattern.
Talk to someone. Tell friends/family you’re feeling overwhelmed and let them know how they can help. Talk to a professional.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Sorry to hear about your FIL. That must be so difficult.
I've had anxiety my entire life. I was an anxious kid, but I didn't know any different, so it seemed normal to me. It got much worse as an adult and I've only recently been able to manage it. So I get it.
I will say while I thought drinking helped, it really made it much worse. It was a toxic band-aid. I thought I was covering the wound, but I was covering it in poison...
Getting sober was the first step. Even if things are difficult in your life, it's still possible to quit.
Have you tried meditation? It helped me a lot with learning to sit and just be present, no matter what I was feeling. Sometimes I was overwhelmed with emotion, but I learned it was ok to feel. CBT also helped me a lot with anxiety. Examining and challenging my thoughts.
Wishing you well.
I've had anxiety my entire life. I was an anxious kid, but I didn't know any different, so it seemed normal to me. It got much worse as an adult and I've only recently been able to manage it. So I get it.
I will say while I thought drinking helped, it really made it much worse. It was a toxic band-aid. I thought I was covering the wound, but I was covering it in poison...
Getting sober was the first step. Even if things are difficult in your life, it's still possible to quit.
Have you tried meditation? It helped me a lot with learning to sit and just be present, no matter what I was feeling. Sometimes I was overwhelmed with emotion, but I learned it was ok to feel. CBT also helped me a lot with anxiety. Examining and challenging my thoughts.
Wishing you well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 32
Thank you @CupofJo. I had anxiety when I was little too. I know drinking makes it worse. Wish I didn't have this problem but here I am. I haven't tried meditation but will look into that. Don't know what CBT is but I tried CBD oil and it don't help no more.
Hopefully I can find something that releases the physical side effects of my anxiety. The adrenaline rush at random times during the day or super tense muscles, tightness in my throat, etc.
Hopefully I can find something that releases the physical side effects of my anxiety. The adrenaline rush at random times during the day or super tense muscles, tightness in my throat, etc.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Hi PrayBreathe,
CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy. I was skeptical, but it really helped.
Here's a link, but if you search online, there are other sites.
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/a...-disorders.htm
For the physical effects, I also find that mild exercise helps a lot. I like to swim and it definitely helps me stay calm. Finding some physical activity that you enjoy and gets you out of your head might help.
I hope you find something that helps you.
CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy. I was skeptical, but it really helped.
Here's a link, but if you search online, there are other sites.
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/a...-disorders.htm
For the physical effects, I also find that mild exercise helps a lot. I like to swim and it definitely helps me stay calm. Finding some physical activity that you enjoy and gets you out of your head might help.
I hope you find something that helps you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 598
I never had any real problems with anxiety until I became a full blown alcoholic. Then the anxiety was totally debilitating. Since I’ve stopped drinking the anxiety is mostly gone. We all have issues. Drinking is a bad solution.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Anxiety is a direct result of chronic alcoholism.
All active heavy drinkers also have anxiety.
You don’t know if you really do have anxiety, or if you are simply an alcoholic with alcoholic symptoms.
Put the alcohol down. The anxiety might resolve completely, or at least lessen, when you get 2-4 months of sobriety. If it doesn’t, you can see a doctor for it at that point.
Or, use nutrition and exercise. If you aren’t getting enough of certain nutrients like b vitamins and protein, you can develop anxiety. If you sit too much or don’t move enough, you can develop anxiety. All of us need to exercise daily, and all of us need to make sure we have met nutritional targets, or anxiety disorder can be the result.
All active heavy drinkers also have anxiety.
You don’t know if you really do have anxiety, or if you are simply an alcoholic with alcoholic symptoms.
Put the alcohol down. The anxiety might resolve completely, or at least lessen, when you get 2-4 months of sobriety. If it doesn’t, you can see a doctor for it at that point.
Or, use nutrition and exercise. If you aren’t getting enough of certain nutrients like b vitamins and protein, you can develop anxiety. If you sit too much or don’t move enough, you can develop anxiety. All of us need to exercise daily, and all of us need to make sure we have met nutritional targets, or anxiety disorder can be the result.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi PrayBreathe
it took me a long time to work out but drinking actually made my anxiety worse in the end. I became so dependent on my 'medicine' that I'd get anxious when I didn't have it - when I didn't have that edge taken off...and the threshold of pain I could stand without booze got lower and lower.
I ended up with my original anxiety polus a whole new level of alcohol related anxiety.
I'm sorry for the things you have going on in your life right now but there are healthy & positive ways to deal with that anxiety - some great suggestions here already
D
it took me a long time to work out but drinking actually made my anxiety worse in the end. I became so dependent on my 'medicine' that I'd get anxious when I didn't have it - when I didn't have that edge taken off...and the threshold of pain I could stand without booze got lower and lower.
I ended up with my original anxiety polus a whole new level of alcohol related anxiety.
I'm sorry for the things you have going on in your life right now but there are healthy & positive ways to deal with that anxiety - some great suggestions here already
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I've always struggled with my emotions, and looking back I think alcohol helped numb it but as already said it makes it so much worse. Initially it's a rollercoaster but I'm finding now things are evening out. Life throws upset at me and I still get very upset, but it does pass and I find talking a problem through with someone helps more than all the mediation/exercise/mindfulness put together. Nothing heavy just a phone chat and saying what's happening as part of our conversation seems to make me feel so much better afterwards.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I like you had a million problems and just couldnt see how or why i'd wanna quit drinking and face those problems without booze. I quit because the anxiety and panic got so bad I had no choice. I mean in hindsite I suppose I coudla just drank more all day long and tried to fix it that way only to make it worse. OR quit which seemed like no solution at all.
Soon as I quit i had to face it all RAW and i wont sugar coat it. it was not easy. and we could giv eyou 100 suggestions from meditation to herbal tea to help you with this stuff and at the end of the day its still not going to be easy. But I found going through the motions and trying some of these things even tho some worked some didnt etc... it kept me occupied and in the game and on the wagon. as each day passed teh anxiety panic stuff got only slightly better. But it was better enough that i'd second guess drinking again and that was enough to get me to the next step. In time it got significantly better.
fast forward to now I sitll have anxiety and panic But i'm able to get through all this without drinking and its no where near like it was then. Many people are able to reduce it even more then I have or even eliminate it. so hang in there.
Soon as I quit i had to face it all RAW and i wont sugar coat it. it was not easy. and we could giv eyou 100 suggestions from meditation to herbal tea to help you with this stuff and at the end of the day its still not going to be easy. But I found going through the motions and trying some of these things even tho some worked some didnt etc... it kept me occupied and in the game and on the wagon. as each day passed teh anxiety panic stuff got only slightly better. But it was better enough that i'd second guess drinking again and that was enough to get me to the next step. In time it got significantly better.
fast forward to now I sitll have anxiety and panic But i'm able to get through all this without drinking and its no where near like it was then. Many people are able to reduce it even more then I have or even eliminate it. so hang in there.
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