Not going back to my soul sucking job!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Not going back to my soul sucking job!
I haven't been to work since late June anyways, but I just let them know not to expect me back at all. I didn't quit, instead I'm taking a leave of absence - Just in case.
I got a "promotion" back in Jan and even since I've been having to do long commutes on forced midnight's. Frankly, it's felt more like a punishment than any kind of promotion, and I refuse to live my life filled with that kind of hopelessness and despair. Not after everything I've been through and how hard I've tried to improve myself.
I've already got new work lined up, and I'm also training for a new career. I've never had a career, just "jobs", because my youth was filled with drugs and alcohol and then I had kids young and got divorced and drank and drank and drank..... I'm 41 now and sober for 2 1/2 years. I have a lot of working years left and for the first time in my life, I feel like, not only do I deserve it, but I'm also capable of doing something serious and meaningful.
What I'm doing is a gamble. My current job pays well and it's a secure union job - but I hate it now. I can either stick with what I know and remain a wage midnight slave, or I can take a risk and just go for it with everything I have. If it doesn't work out, my old job will have me back.... there will always be a midnight position for me with them!
It's funny, back when I drank, I was a way better employee, I had much better attendance and a way more submissive attitude!
I just think that I've managed to do alright, despite the fact that I was a high school drop out, raised by a family of addict Beasts who abandoned me after making sure I was just as addicted as both of them. I managed to buy a house at 24 and keep it, even though my husband abused me too and I had to leave him and be a single mother before the age of 30. I got a decent union job and kept it, even though I was a loser alcoholic. I want to see how things go if I become the director in my life, instead of a passive actor who has life and events happen to me, like a victim.
Wish me luck! I already feel lighter and more optimistic!
I got a "promotion" back in Jan and even since I've been having to do long commutes on forced midnight's. Frankly, it's felt more like a punishment than any kind of promotion, and I refuse to live my life filled with that kind of hopelessness and despair. Not after everything I've been through and how hard I've tried to improve myself.
I've already got new work lined up, and I'm also training for a new career. I've never had a career, just "jobs", because my youth was filled with drugs and alcohol and then I had kids young and got divorced and drank and drank and drank..... I'm 41 now and sober for 2 1/2 years. I have a lot of working years left and for the first time in my life, I feel like, not only do I deserve it, but I'm also capable of doing something serious and meaningful.
What I'm doing is a gamble. My current job pays well and it's a secure union job - but I hate it now. I can either stick with what I know and remain a wage midnight slave, or I can take a risk and just go for it with everything I have. If it doesn't work out, my old job will have me back.... there will always be a midnight position for me with them!
It's funny, back when I drank, I was a way better employee, I had much better attendance and a way more submissive attitude!
I just think that I've managed to do alright, despite the fact that I was a high school drop out, raised by a family of addict Beasts who abandoned me after making sure I was just as addicted as both of them. I managed to buy a house at 24 and keep it, even though my husband abused me too and I had to leave him and be a single mother before the age of 30. I got a decent union job and kept it, even though I was a loser alcoholic. I want to see how things go if I become the director in my life, instead of a passive actor who has life and events happen to me, like a victim.
Wish me luck! I already feel lighter and more optimistic!
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Good luck with everything Wholesome!
Going through something similar here. Making a large change, exciting, scary, I too can always go back. Not sure if it's a bi-product of sobriety or a mid-life crisis. I did mention I liked the look of the new Tesla, so maybe a bit from column B, LOL.
I hope everything goes well for you!
Going through something similar here. Making a large change, exciting, scary, I too can always go back. Not sure if it's a bi-product of sobriety or a mid-life crisis. I did mention I liked the look of the new Tesla, so maybe a bit from column B, LOL.
I hope everything goes well for you!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Funny, but I've been describing it the same way MyLittleHorsie.... is it a spiritual awakening, or a mid-life crisis, or addiction recovery stuff? Or all three? At times, I've wondered if I'm legit losing my mind. I've felt like I'm coming apart at the seams, like I'm being taken apart and put back together, but this time the right way. I can either resist and suffer or surrender and go with it.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Wholesome 
I haven't been to work since late June anyways, but I just let them know not to expect me back at all. I didn't quit, instead I'm taking a leave of absence - Just in case.
I got a "promotion" back in Jan and even since I've been having to do long commutes on forced midnight's. Frankly, it's felt more like a punishment than any kind of promotion, and I refuse to live my life filled with that kind of hopelessness and despair. Not after everything I've been through and how hard I've tried to improve myself.
I've already got new work lined up, and I'm also training for a new career. I've never had a career, just "jobs", because my youth was filled with drugs and alcohol and then I had kids young and got divorced and drank and drank and drank..... I'm 41 now and sober for 2 1/2 years. I have a lot of working years left and for the first time in my life, I feel like, not only do I deserve it, but I'm also capable of doing something serious and meaningful.
What I'm doing is a gamble. My current job pays well and it's a secure union job - but I hate it now. I can either stick with what I know and remain a wage midnight slave, or I can take a risk and just go for it with everything I have. If it doesn't work out, my old job will have me back.... there will always be a midnight position for me with them!
It's funny, back when I drank, I was a way better employee, I had much better attendance and a way more submissive attitude!
I just think that I've managed to do alright, despite the fact that I was a high school drop out, raised by a family of addict Beasts who abandoned me after making sure I was just as addicted as both of them. I managed to buy a house at 24 and keep it, even though my husband abused me too and I had to leave him and be a single mother before the age of 30. I got a decent union job and kept it, even though I was a loser alcoholic. I want to see how things go if I become the director in my life, instead of a passive actor who has life and events happen to me, like a victim.
Wish me luck! I already feel lighter and more optimistic!
I got a "promotion" back in Jan and even since I've been having to do long commutes on forced midnight's. Frankly, it's felt more like a punishment than any kind of promotion, and I refuse to live my life filled with that kind of hopelessness and despair. Not after everything I've been through and how hard I've tried to improve myself.
I've already got new work lined up, and I'm also training for a new career. I've never had a career, just "jobs", because my youth was filled with drugs and alcohol and then I had kids young and got divorced and drank and drank and drank..... I'm 41 now and sober for 2 1/2 years. I have a lot of working years left and for the first time in my life, I feel like, not only do I deserve it, but I'm also capable of doing something serious and meaningful.
What I'm doing is a gamble. My current job pays well and it's a secure union job - but I hate it now. I can either stick with what I know and remain a wage midnight slave, or I can take a risk and just go for it with everything I have. If it doesn't work out, my old job will have me back.... there will always be a midnight position for me with them!
It's funny, back when I drank, I was a way better employee, I had much better attendance and a way more submissive attitude!
I just think that I've managed to do alright, despite the fact that I was a high school drop out, raised by a family of addict Beasts who abandoned me after making sure I was just as addicted as both of them. I managed to buy a house at 24 and keep it, even though my husband abused me too and I had to leave him and be a single mother before the age of 30. I got a decent union job and kept it, even though I was a loser alcoholic. I want to see how things go if I become the director in my life, instead of a passive actor who has life and events happen to me, like a victim.
Wish me luck! I already feel lighter and more optimistic!
I can so relate to that.
Best of luck at your new employment!!
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Valley of the Sun, AZ
Posts: 3,458
Originally Posted by Wholesome
Funny, but I've been describing it the same way MyLittleHorsie.... is it a spiritual awakening, or a mid-life crisis, or addiction recovery stuff? Or all three? At times, I've wondered if I'm legit losing my mind. I've felt like I'm coming apart at the seams, like I'm being taken apart and put back together, but this time the right way. I can either resist and suffer or surrender and go with it.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Originally Posted by Ghostlight1
Best to you. I've been in your situation and I took the plunge and it worked out better than I ever could have managed.
Sometimes, for gain, we have to take chances.
I hope it works out for you.
Sometimes, for gain, we have to take chances.
I hope it works out for you.
Thanks for this. I just can't keep going the way I've been going. It's not right to be sacrificing my family and my mental well being for a job I don't even like! It was making me so miserable and isolated. It's not natural and I've had enough. The one thing I know is that my days of long commutes on forced midnight's are behind me. It's going to work out because I'm going to make it work out, and my conscience is clear because I know it's right to place my family before any lousy job.
Speaking of family, (also this isn't only directed at Ghostlight), I've been digging around, visiting relatives, and asking questions..... wow I found out a family secret today.... it explains soooooooooo much! I'm really trying to figure out how things actually were, and I'm trying to separate what belongs to me, from what doesn't. Also I'm trying to understand others motives and what brought them there. I'm so glad I learned what I learned today though. It was very illuminating and freeing. Instead of recovery, it was uncovery lol
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I wish you all the best with these changes Wholesome! I've also been trying to start a career (which is sort of closer to trying to start my own business than following a traditional career path) and it has not been easy. I'm determined not to give up, but am still very much in the trenches of frustration and self doubt.
It's not where I'd be or what I'd be doing if drinking had never entered the picture, that's for sure. But I think that's also sort of exciting in a way, to be liberated of what was "supposed" to happen. And its much easier to take risks in sobriety, knowing that we have the foresight and follow through to eventually achieve what we set out to do.
It's not where I'd be or what I'd be doing if drinking had never entered the picture, that's for sure. But I think that's also sort of exciting in a way, to be liberated of what was "supposed" to happen. And its much easier to take risks in sobriety, knowing that we have the foresight and follow through to eventually achieve what we set out to do.
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Posts: 3,109
I know what you mean about the self doubt Cosima. I actually had all this same stuff that I'm learning, out 2 years ago, but I talked myself out of it and decided to stick it out at my current job.... this is not the first time I've been so unhappy at my job that I thought about busting a move. It's a good idea though, and I have a natural ability for it. I'll also be able to travel with it and be able to work anywhere, as long as the people speak English. In today's world of globalism, I want that kind of freedom, if Toronto starts to fall like parts of the States or Europe. Honestly, I'm not even so sure the union jobs are going to stay safe.... seems like most of the political parties are trying to break the unions, except the socialists.... but socialism isn't good for anyone, unless everyone likes living on the bottom.
I don't know... things just seem so uncertain and unstable. It's can be scary. I've figured out how to tell the truth from the media today though. All I have to do is invert everything they say! My AVRT skills really come in handy trying to navigate today's upside down world!
I don't know... things just seem so uncertain and unstable. It's can be scary. I've figured out how to tell the truth from the media today though. All I have to do is invert everything they say! My AVRT skills really come in handy trying to navigate today's upside down world!
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Wholesome, I’m so thrilled for you 😃. What an awesome decision you’ve made. When I was a similar age, I was offered an opportunity, which I turned down, because I was afraid of not succeeding. Which was crazy, because I was deparately umhappy in my then existing career, and I should’ve grasped the opportunity to try the new career path.
With hindsight, I would’ve flourished in the new career, instead of the old career turning to dust, after much suffering.. Oh well. At least you’re not making the same mistake, lWholesome!
With hindsight, I would’ve flourished in the new career, instead of the old career turning to dust, after much suffering.. Oh well. At least you’re not making the same mistake, lWholesome!
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Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 141
Originally Posted by Wholesome
I haven't been to work since late June anyways, but I just let them know not to expect me back at all. I didn't quit, instead I'm taking a leave of absence - Just in case.
I got a "promotion" back in Jan and even since I've been having to do long commutes on forced midnight's. Frankly, it's felt more like a punishment than any kind of promotion, and I refuse to live my life filled with that kind of hopelessness and despair. Not after everything I've been through and how hard I've tried to improve myself.
I've already got new work lined up, and I'm also training for a new career. I've never had a career, just "jobs", because my youth was filled with drugs and alcohol and then I had kids young and got divorced and drank and drank and drank..... I'm 41 now and sober for 2 1/2 years. I have a lot of working years left and for the first time in my life, I feel like, not only do I deserve it, but I'm also capable of doing something serious and meaningful.
What I'm doing is a gamble. My current job pays well and it's a secure union job - but I hate it now. I can either stick with what I know and remain a wage midnight slave, or I can take a risk and just go for it with everything I have. If it doesn't work out, my old job will have me back.... there will always be a midnight position for me with them!
It's funny, back when I drank, I was a way better employee, I had much better attendance and a way more submissive attitude!
I just think that I've managed to do alright, despite the fact that I was a high school drop out, raised by a family of addict Beasts who abandoned me after making sure I was just as addicted as both of them. I managed to buy a house at 24 and keep it, even though my husband abused me too and I had to leave him and be a single mother before the age of 30. I got a decent union job and kept it, even though I was a loser alcoholic. I want to see how things go if I become the director in my life, instead of a passive actor who has life and events happen to me, like a victim.
Wish me luck! I already feel lighter and more optimistic!
I got a "promotion" back in Jan and even since I've been having to do long commutes on forced midnight's. Frankly, it's felt more like a punishment than any kind of promotion, and I refuse to live my life filled with that kind of hopelessness and despair. Not after everything I've been through and how hard I've tried to improve myself.
I've already got new work lined up, and I'm also training for a new career. I've never had a career, just "jobs", because my youth was filled with drugs and alcohol and then I had kids young and got divorced and drank and drank and drank..... I'm 41 now and sober for 2 1/2 years. I have a lot of working years left and for the first time in my life, I feel like, not only do I deserve it, but I'm also capable of doing something serious and meaningful.
What I'm doing is a gamble. My current job pays well and it's a secure union job - but I hate it now. I can either stick with what I know and remain a wage midnight slave, or I can take a risk and just go for it with everything I have. If it doesn't work out, my old job will have me back.... there will always be a midnight position for me with them!
It's funny, back when I drank, I was a way better employee, I had much better attendance and a way more submissive attitude!
I just think that I've managed to do alright, despite the fact that I was a high school drop out, raised by a family of addict Beasts who abandoned me after making sure I was just as addicted as both of them. I managed to buy a house at 24 and keep it, even though my husband abused me too and I had to leave him and be a single mother before the age of 30. I got a decent union job and kept it, even though I was a loser alcoholic. I want to see how things go if I become the director in my life, instead of a passive actor who has life and events happen to me, like a victim.
Wish me luck! I already feel lighter and more optimistic!
Hated every minute of it because it was brainless. In my mid 20's I went to college and swapped all of it for business and marketing type jobs. Now my career is solid (15 years later) and money is good, life is good.
But just the other day I was thinking why did I keep doing those low paying labor type jobs even into my 20's? Even with little to no education there are plentiful options in the office and business world where I could have made more money, enjoyed my job/life more and started building my resume sooner than I did.
Rather than working midnight shift pushing buttons in a factory I could have just worked at the mall lol
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I want to see how things go if I become the director in my life, instead of a passive actor who has life and events happen to me, like a victim.
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