I'm SO disappointed!!! But not deterred...
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
I'm SO disappointed!!! But not deterred...
Well, I did everything I said I would...found the meeting, went to the gym, then to the meeting place...and waited and waited and waited. 30 mins later I left...the place was dark, no one arrived, the gate was padlocked...obviously the information I was given that very same day was incorrect/out of date!!!
I am SO DISAPPOINTED! I had geared myself up to attend my first meeting and change my life...I had shared with my mom, my husband and you guys...I was so looking forward to it, even though I was a bit scared...and now this!
Dammit! It's so unfair!
It didn't make me reach for the bottle, no as I am still hungover from yesterday. But I am SO DISAPPOINTED that I was not able to strike while the iron was/is hot! I am scared that I am going to leave it go now until the next disaster...and I really don't want to do that.
Anyway, just wanted to update you...on one level I am saying well, so what, you got knocked back, phone again, find the ACTUAL PLACE and go tomorrow...on another level I am saying, well maybe go on another bender first...not tonight, but soon...
I feel so disgusted with myself for having these thoughts.
Thanks everyone,
Cathy
x
I am SO DISAPPOINTED! I had geared myself up to attend my first meeting and change my life...I had shared with my mom, my husband and you guys...I was so looking forward to it, even though I was a bit scared...and now this!
Dammit! It's so unfair!
It didn't make me reach for the bottle, no as I am still hungover from yesterday. But I am SO DISAPPOINTED that I was not able to strike while the iron was/is hot! I am scared that I am going to leave it go now until the next disaster...and I really don't want to do that.
Anyway, just wanted to update you...on one level I am saying well, so what, you got knocked back, phone again, find the ACTUAL PLACE and go tomorrow...on another level I am saying, well maybe go on another bender first...not tonight, but soon...
I feel so disgusted with myself for having these thoughts.
Thanks everyone,
Cathy
x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: London, England
Posts: 70
Stay with us Cathy!!
Hi Cathy I'm Joe ...I'm from Ireland also ..but I live in London now ....I've been following your story/posts ..I've just got to day 24 sober .(I have had longer in the past but lost it again) I'm going to AA most days ..it really is a door to a great new life, have faith,... tell us how you feel there are real people here on SR and in AA who have real answers ...I was in so much pain before I stopped drinking ..but I didn't realise it. Please post again soon!
there is love and understanding here in buckets!!
Joe
there is love and understanding here in buckets!!
Joe
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Ireland ehh???
Hi Cathy,
I chaired a meeting in Dublin in 1978. I had about 18 months sober and was with a navy group visiting your beautiful country. I remember the church where the meeting was, was right in the middle of town. I believe it was a Catholic(what else)church.
Anyway, don't give up. Just keep trying. Don't you have a number you can call there and get some help with this? Ya know, it's funny! It took me a long time to decide to go to AA and then when I did go and things didn't work the way I expected, I thought, "well I'll just be damned." Here I am, ready to sober up and nothing's going right. I learned real fast that just because I decide to get sober, doesn't mean the whole world is going to sit up and take notice.
If you are really serious about getting sober, you will, no matter what. Tie a knot and hang on.
I chaired a meeting in Dublin in 1978. I had about 18 months sober and was with a navy group visiting your beautiful country. I remember the church where the meeting was, was right in the middle of town. I believe it was a Catholic(what else)church.
Anyway, don't give up. Just keep trying. Don't you have a number you can call there and get some help with this? Ya know, it's funny! It took me a long time to decide to go to AA and then when I did go and things didn't work the way I expected, I thought, "well I'll just be damned." Here I am, ready to sober up and nothing's going right. I learned real fast that just because I decide to get sober, doesn't mean the whole world is going to sit up and take notice.
If you are really serious about getting sober, you will, no matter what. Tie a knot and hang on.
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Music
Thanks, man! I have followed your posts - and have often smiled (!) at your tough love approach!!! Thanks for the feedback...you're absolutely right...just because I decided this today I expected everything to fall into place!!! I am serious about getting sober, the people here have been such an inspiration to me.
Thanks for taking the time to write to me and share, and I will keep in touch daily! I know I can do this.
Cathy
Thanks, man! I have followed your posts - and have often smiled (!) at your tough love approach!!! Thanks for the feedback...you're absolutely right...just because I decided this today I expected everything to fall into place!!! I am serious about getting sober, the people here have been such an inspiration to me.
Thanks for taking the time to write to me and share, and I will keep in touch daily! I know I can do this.
Cathy
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Cathy
I know this doesn't make it all right, but there was someone from Ireland who had a similar experience when trying to go to an al-anon meeting yesterday. Maybe the fellowships in the Emerald Isle need to try get their sh*t in one sock.
Don't be deterred!!
Love
Minnie
xxxx
I know this doesn't make it all right, but there was someone from Ireland who had a similar experience when trying to go to an al-anon meeting yesterday. Maybe the fellowships in the Emerald Isle need to try get their sh*t in one sock.
Don't be deterred!!
Love
Minnie
xxxx
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Joe90
So divine to get your post! And from Ireland too!! Thanks so much for thinking of me and writing to me. You probably know how valuable the support is!
Well done on your 24 days! The day right after is always 'easy' so well done on keeping it up!! I am so glad that your life improved and you have found peace and happiness. Alcohol is so cunning and ugly! I can't wait to get to meetings properly and start working the program. It just seems like so much more than just giving up the drink! I really like the fact that it's an holistic approach. I spoke to an Al Anon friend (not alcoholic) and he said he follows the steps and they are good for both alcoholics and non alcoholics in the principles they teach.
Anyway, I am excited again - thanks for taking the time to write to me. I will keep in touch ok - you do too!!
Cathy
x
So divine to get your post! And from Ireland too!! Thanks so much for thinking of me and writing to me. You probably know how valuable the support is!
Well done on your 24 days! The day right after is always 'easy' so well done on keeping it up!! I am so glad that your life improved and you have found peace and happiness. Alcohol is so cunning and ugly! I can't wait to get to meetings properly and start working the program. It just seems like so much more than just giving up the drink! I really like the fact that it's an holistic approach. I spoke to an Al Anon friend (not alcoholic) and he said he follows the steps and they are good for both alcoholics and non alcoholics in the principles they teach.
Anyway, I am excited again - thanks for taking the time to write to me. I will keep in touch ok - you do too!!
Cathy
x
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Hi Minnie
It's so funny you say that, because when this happened I thought for Flip's sake, can they not bloody get something simple like this right in this country! Always over-complicating things and systems that work smoothly elsewhere!! I was very annoyed. I let them know how disappointed I had been, I hope they get their act together! Desperate!
Thanks for writing!
Cathy
It's so funny you say that, because when this happened I thought for Flip's sake, can they not bloody get something simple like this right in this country! Always over-complicating things and systems that work smoothly elsewhere!! I was very annoyed. I let them know how disappointed I had been, I hope they get their act together! Desperate!
Thanks for writing!
Cathy
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Cathy
I lived in Dublin for 4 years when I was a teenager in the 80s. Trying to get anything done was a nightmare!! Having said that, I love the place. Was there for a weekend a year ago and it felt like coming home.
Take care
Minnie
xxx
I lived in Dublin for 4 years when I was a teenager in the 80s. Trying to get anything done was a nightmare!! Having said that, I love the place. Was there for a weekend a year ago and it felt like coming home.
Take care
Minnie
xxx
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
It's a magical place you are right, but things just don't always run as smoothly and efficiently as they seem to elsewhere! As Music said, just because I decided to get sober, I can't expect the world to suddenly pay attention! But I do hope they try a bit harder.
Sleep tight,
Cathy
xxx
Sleep tight,
Cathy
xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England, UK
Posts: 197
Hi Cathy
I'm a recovering alcoholic who has in the past broken far too many promises to myself and to others. I'm now approaching 3 months sober and don't have any reason to break promises. Admittedly I'm more cautious about making promises, but those I make, I keep.
As a Scotsman, having spent quite some time in the Emerald Isle I can recognise phrases like "in your own time" and "tomorrow's OK".
If this is your own time, just persevere and get there tomorrow.
You CAN do this and we're here to help.
Rich
I'm a recovering alcoholic who has in the past broken far too many promises to myself and to others. I'm now approaching 3 months sober and don't have any reason to break promises. Admittedly I'm more cautious about making promises, but those I make, I keep.
As a Scotsman, having spent quite some time in the Emerald Isle I can recognise phrases like "in your own time" and "tomorrow's OK".
If this is your own time, just persevere and get there tomorrow.
You CAN do this and we're here to help.
Rich
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: London, England
Posts: 70
Great to here from you Cathy and without meaning any complaint about our wonderful US/Canada etc friend's :-) .. it's always nice to have a new friend in the same timzone for practical reason's!!
Have you managed to track down an AA meeting that exists yet?! ..You have taken a great step forward for yourself and you have a lot of courage and commitment already ..but...you are sort of right in saying that the first couple of days are easier ..I know this from experience ...that's why you should get as much help and support as you can right NOW! ..there are a number of thing's you should consider ..again I am talking from painful experience of very many attempts to quit! Have you talked to your doctor? (if you feel uncomfortable about your own GP then consider a "drop in" type clinic) ...you could ask about having a "home detox" kit which would likely contain a reducing course of librium which will get you through the "difficult" first week (alcohol can take 7-10 days to leave your system)....some members here may think that I've "gone too far with this advice" ...I know you can do this ....but I also know your are unlikely to succeed alone ....and you will definetly need support from your local AA group as well as from your friends here ...We'll be with you all the way ...I'm here almost every night at the moment ...stay focused no matter what ...do this for YOU!! you're worth it!!
Hugs
Joe
Have you managed to track down an AA meeting that exists yet?! ..You have taken a great step forward for yourself and you have a lot of courage and commitment already ..but...you are sort of right in saying that the first couple of days are easier ..I know this from experience ...that's why you should get as much help and support as you can right NOW! ..there are a number of thing's you should consider ..again I am talking from painful experience of very many attempts to quit! Have you talked to your doctor? (if you feel uncomfortable about your own GP then consider a "drop in" type clinic) ...you could ask about having a "home detox" kit which would likely contain a reducing course of librium which will get you through the "difficult" first week (alcohol can take 7-10 days to leave your system)....some members here may think that I've "gone too far with this advice" ...I know you can do this ....but I also know your are unlikely to succeed alone ....and you will definetly need support from your local AA group as well as from your friends here ...We'll be with you all the way ...I'm here almost every night at the moment ...stay focused no matter what ...do this for YOU!! you're worth it!!
Hugs
Joe
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Cathy
Hang in there sweetie.
Our addictive brains love it when we come up against obstacles and frustrations while trying to get sober, it uses them as excuses for us to just say F it and go get loaded.
Don't fall for it, remember all the reasons you want to quit and try to stay in the moment, one day at a time, one moment at a time.
Hang in there sweetie.
Our addictive brains love it when we come up against obstacles and frustrations while trying to get sober, it uses them as excuses for us to just say F it and go get loaded.
Don't fall for it, remember all the reasons you want to quit and try to stay in the moment, one day at a time, one moment at a time.
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Hey you guys
Joe, Dunitall and KelKel..thanks so much for your posts. I can't describe (but you probably know!) how meaningful and wonderful it has been for me to have all this input...even before I started posting just reading your support of one another, your issues, trials, etc etc I can honestly FEEL MY BRAIN AND CONSCIOUSNESS changing!! It's amazing!
Re the meeting saga! Not a problem, still feel good. Today all the meetings in my county were at 12pm...I was at work, so impossible. But! There's a meeting tomorrow night at 8.30pm, and I have the CORRECT ADDRESS. The one last night, bizarrely, I had the right address, just that there are TWO Day Centres in Morton Road in the same town - ie 2 Morton Roads at opposite ends of the town! Sheesh! So, am looking forward to tomorrow, my husband is going to take me and drop me off that makes me feel a bit better. I also kind of want to do it on my own. KelKel you're so right about the horrible addictive mind games!! Desperate!! But this board has really kept me focussed, so grateful! I am busy reading a book called Healing the Addictive Mind by Lee Jampoleski...has anyone read it? Am half way finding it really amazing and powerful. Joe, thanks for tips, I appreciate it. For now I am just going to stick with not drinking (I feel fine, I never get withdrawal physically - I know if I keep it up that's for sure going to change) and going to the meeting tomorrow and Sat to get through the weekend.
Thanks again to all of you! I'm most obliged, and feel very good.
Thank you!
Love
cathy
Joe, Dunitall and KelKel..thanks so much for your posts. I can't describe (but you probably know!) how meaningful and wonderful it has been for me to have all this input...even before I started posting just reading your support of one another, your issues, trials, etc etc I can honestly FEEL MY BRAIN AND CONSCIOUSNESS changing!! It's amazing!
Re the meeting saga! Not a problem, still feel good. Today all the meetings in my county were at 12pm...I was at work, so impossible. But! There's a meeting tomorrow night at 8.30pm, and I have the CORRECT ADDRESS. The one last night, bizarrely, I had the right address, just that there are TWO Day Centres in Morton Road in the same town - ie 2 Morton Roads at opposite ends of the town! Sheesh! So, am looking forward to tomorrow, my husband is going to take me and drop me off that makes me feel a bit better. I also kind of want to do it on my own. KelKel you're so right about the horrible addictive mind games!! Desperate!! But this board has really kept me focussed, so grateful! I am busy reading a book called Healing the Addictive Mind by Lee Jampoleski...has anyone read it? Am half way finding it really amazing and powerful. Joe, thanks for tips, I appreciate it. For now I am just going to stick with not drinking (I feel fine, I never get withdrawal physically - I know if I keep it up that's for sure going to change) and going to the meeting tomorrow and Sat to get through the weekend.
Thanks again to all of you! I'm most obliged, and feel very good.
Thank you!
Love
cathy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Cathy:
Great job hanging on, sometimes that's all we can do. Some days my program is as simple as "don't pick up a drink." As long as I can stick by that, it's a great day.
I see a lot of strength and desire in your posts, and that is awesome! Please let us know how your first meeting goes. Funny, I used to want to go to Ireland and go pub-hopping, now if I ever get there I guess I'll go AA hopping!
Keep the faith!
Ken
Great job hanging on, sometimes that's all we can do. Some days my program is as simple as "don't pick up a drink." As long as I can stick by that, it's a great day.
I see a lot of strength and desire in your posts, and that is awesome! Please let us know how your first meeting goes. Funny, I used to want to go to Ireland and go pub-hopping, now if I ever get there I guess I'll go AA hopping!
Keep the faith!
Ken
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Hey you guys, just to let you know I am doing well! Still have to attend the first meeting...a couple of obstacles, but I got through my leaving do yesterday (I'm changing jobs) and did not have any wine, etc. Still feeling strong and really looking forward to starting to work the programme. I have relied alot on the AA materials available here in SR...great that they are available.
Because of SR I know it's just not a question of saying I'll just have one ... me being me...a drink = a drunken rampage and I'm just not prepared to do that anymore.
I'm a bit bored, but trying to stick to a day at a time...day 4 now. It's a terrifying to think I'll never drink again in my whole life, but I can understand the one day at a time concept. Also, at the moment all I'm doing is abstaining from alcohol, I'm looking forward to the program, because I want to start working on my whole sick, alcoholic mind.
Thanks for all the encouragement, you guys are amazing!
Love
Cathy
Because of SR I know it's just not a question of saying I'll just have one ... me being me...a drink = a drunken rampage and I'm just not prepared to do that anymore.
I'm a bit bored, but trying to stick to a day at a time...day 4 now. It's a terrifying to think I'll never drink again in my whole life, but I can understand the one day at a time concept. Also, at the moment all I'm doing is abstaining from alcohol, I'm looking forward to the program, because I want to start working on my whole sick, alcoholic mind.
Thanks for all the encouragement, you guys are amazing!
Love
Cathy
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Way to go on day four! I know it's hard thinking of the future, but the best bet is to try not to think about it. One day at a time is your best bet. Hang tough, you can do this, and now is a good time to start those projects you never get around to around the house, busy is key!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: London, England
Posts: 70
Well done Cathy ...and thats the weekend over with ..excellent ..keep it in the day ....I've been doing loads of meetings since I started ..(28 days today...one day at a time) and I've met loads of great people ..just like you find here on SR ....good luck ..keep coming back.
Wishing you Serenity
Joe
Wishing you Serenity
Joe
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