August252015

Yep, a critical part for me. My mind was my biggest enemy, really, and learning to think differently is essential in my continued recovery.

Briansy

Well, hard to say how it went today. I did a LOT of talking! I think I'm pretty good at articulatimg my feelings but only managed to give a cursory overview of where I'm at with things due to time and lots of jumping around. In some ways it helps that I'm feeling raw post a heavy boozing weekend as things were raw and my feelings were easy to express. He seemed nice enough - a bit formal. early 50s - your classic therapist like you'd see in movies! 55 minutes didn't seem like anywhere near enough. He didn't take any notes. I don't know. I kinda liked it but just felt very weird.

Briansy

Interestingly he said he'd invoice me after a few sessions. He doesn't know me from Adam. That surprised me but so also liked it

Briansy

I feel like I need to give him a half dozen sessions to see if so can see a helpful strand emerge. Thoughts?

biminiblue

Did you tell him about your alcohol/drug/gambling problem?

dpac414

Yes, usually it takes a few sessions to determine whether their style of therapy is working/helpful/good for you. Almost like finding a romantic partner. I've had many therapists until I found the one I've been with for about 4 years now. Sometimes it's good to just get everything out to someone who is paid to listen, but if you really want to buckle down and do some work then it's important to find someone whose style works for you.

I would also make sure you tell him everything related to your alcoholism, as Bim asked. That's an important - if not the most important- piece right now.

I think you definitely took a good first step. Have you ever tried journaling? Even if it's just a few reflections every evening or morning to check in with yourself. Can help you keep close to your emotions and be used as a reference of what you were feeling on any given day.

Hopefully you're feeling a little more positive. Just remember that you need a sober brain to make any sort of progress, so please be sure to continue focusing on not drinking. I'm glad you went.

Briansy

Yes the alcohol featured heavily. But I am kinda hoping for sorting drinking to be a natural consequence of sorting out some pretty warped thinking. And in the process becoming a happier person not just in the context of being sober. But more generally. Ambitious aims but, hey, it's a new thing to try and I am not gonna stop trying.

dpac414

Hm, yes. Things tend to fall into place once you get the ball rolling.

I don't think you intend to actively drink while you're doing this, but mental stuff and alcoholism are birds of a feather. Just from my experience, I went to therapy for years hoping that whatever I was talking about would solve me of my alcoholism and I would flip the switch and not want to drink anymore. What it came down to was me actively pursuing and working on sobriety, and then I was able to start sorting out all my garbage.

Keep going. Never give up. You deserve happiness and can achieve it.

dwtbd

Drinking is a very rational nonwarped action , I drank to get drunk on purpose.

do that enough times and it becomes almost effortless, stopping drinking and not allowing your self the possibility of future drinking is an irrational alternative thinking, that after enough time becomes effortless too.

August252015

Normal feeling for me when I have started with a new therapist.

And today I saw my current one for the first time in 5 wk (since before surgery) and felt like I had a tonnnnn to say.

I've learned that part of their job is to sort thru what we say. Can't possibly get it
"all" out in a first visit, or most any, IMO.

Allllsoooo.....the drinking part is pretty critical. Yes, I believe it is a symptom of whatever else (including "just" alcoholism) but we have to be sober in order to "sort things out..."

Hope you go back.

Obladi

My therapist doesn't take notes either, but he has a great memory. He often has better recall of my history with him than I do.

That first visit is grueling. My guess is that you'll have a pretty good idea if you'll click when you meet with him next. Just remember that you are the expert on you - his job is to facilitate your self-actualization.

Briansy

Unfortunately he is away all of December and most of January (he goes back home to Australia or New Zealand where it appears he is from) . I can see him until when he goes and then perhaps look into someone else as a comparison. But not being around for two really hard months every year isn't exactly optimal.

August252015

So, focusing on right now, it's the bare start of Oct. That would mean 2 mo before he leaves - if it was my situation, I'd schedule every 2 wks if I could afford it. I would also go ahead and bring up a discussion about who else you could see - if he already told you of his extended absence, that seems like a perfect pre-emptive and pro-active move for you.

Briansy

I'm scheduled in every week now until further notice. Expense is fine - to be honest, I'd seriously consider going twice a week. Yes, I'm going to see about an alternative person - not sure whether as a stop gap or just a full replacement. With me being in Ireland for at least a fortnight over Christmas it may not be that big a deal. A lot will depend on how we get on in the next sessions. Hard to make a fully detached and rational decision when still experiencing WDs!

August252015

You are taking good steps, Briansy.

Obladi

Another thing to consider if it turns out that you get on is whether he might be amenable to Skype sessions to tide you over in his absence?

Outonthetiles

I just come here for therapy! The thread of the Feb 2016 class is a virtual day by day diary of my first tentative steps toward recovery. The price is right and it works for me!

Briansy

Hi all, really really struggling today. I am dog sitting a friend's dog and on the face of it I had a pretty decent day. Two good walks with him, did a good day of work, ate well (vegan in fact, my friend is getting me into it!), but I feel absolutely flat as a pancake and like I want to cry. Once a week therapists are obviously a great long term aid towards figuring out a way to be well and happy but I sure wish I could fast forward a year. I kinda think it's premature to be considering meds given I'm only in day 4 and still at the tail end of the detox phase, plus I know even that is not a short term solution.

I don't really think I'm looking for answers here and I'm sure noone will tell me they have them. Just getting it off my chest.

dpac414

August252015

How are you feeling this morning? I know that things could change for me a lot during one day and certainly from one to the next in early days.

The flatness and the wanting to cry make sense to me. This is an emotional and mental deal as much as an alcohol one!

We do tend to want to fast forward and be better and all that rightnowplease. The whole it takes time thing grates - but I think it also gives us permission to just keep going. Like I said on another thread just now- break it down in time and action increments as much as you need to. You mentioned the dog walking and work - I certainly couldn't do those at 4 days!

Meds, I can just tell you I need them and everyone has to sort that out for themselves. Trusting a good dr was my best bet for that.

Keep going, just today.