Obladi

To me, that's far beyond "not much." I'm forever grateful to those folks who supported me throughout my last big drunk and helped push me to detox. The collective experiences I had, learning about my brain's physical condition and various stop drinking methods as well as the input/advice offered by others over the years coalesced into a real internalization of what was needed to move forward.

I'm sure some folks threw their hands up and decided they'd done all they could for me, and I can't blame them. But I sure am glad that not everyone has that perspective. "It takes every kind of people..."

Kaily

Surely each and every relapse and individual is different. So should therefore be treated according.

No one size fits all.

Obladi

Agree wholeheartedly Kaily. I can't stand being treated like a cut-out cookie. I think maybe this thread should have been entitled something like "Inclusion," but I think the twists and turns that have transpired within the discussion are good food for thought.

Dropsie

O,

This was wonderful to hear:

The collective experiences I had, learning about my brain's physical condition and various stop drinking methods as well as the input/advice offered by others over the years coalesced into a real internalization of what was needed to move forward.

WaterOx

Agreed. But what I was referring to was each individual is not capable of too much on their own (at least that’s my experience. Maybe others have more power than I?).

The positive you are referring to is the entire collective of people, each chiming in with their own unique perspective and style of support. It’s a pretty incredible thing when you think about it.

Gottalife

The ego has been described as the false self. It can project what it wants the outside world to see, cool, calm, collected, confident, capable etc, none of which may be true. In its more aggressive form (think character defects) grandiosity, arrogance, self righteousness, self centredness - it doesn't make for happy times. One could say ego is the enemy of self esteem.

My psychiatrist friend wasn't arrogant, he was sick and he just had a belief (false as it turns out) in his own ability and knowledge. For reasons unknown, he could not see that.

Yet it is possible to get in right relationship with the world with a little humility and consideration of others, and one can have confidence ability and knowledge to move forward without being propelled by ego, but rather by a new set of values and conceptions more in harmony with everybody else. Authentic rather than false self.

Dropsie

So true Mike.

Great post.

fini

yes, every individual is different, but i keep wondering if, really, each and every relapse is different.
i don’t actually think so, but can’t entirely back that up.

Obladi

Not sure, fini. In one sense, every relapse is the same - it's a return to the substance we know is harmful to us, so in that way one relapse is no different from the other. However, I believe I have slowly undergone an inward spiraling evolution to get to a place of acceptance that it's never going to "work" for me again, nor do I want it to.

Perhaps every relapse is essentially the same, but recovery from such an event can be unique if/when we are willing to learn.

Hawkeye13

Yes, I also experienced a spiral growth from being honest with myself when I relapsed, analyzing what went wrong, and sharpening my recovery tools to do better when tempted in the future.

The old expression “you won’t quit till you’re ready.”
has been true for me. I couldn’t let it go for so long, but now I just don’t want it in my life anymore.

August252015

Good morning, all.

Every morning, visiting SR is part of my personal recovery program. Some days, it's a fly by thing and more a to-do...and others, like today, it is a slower study and in this case, thorough reading no skimming, of a special thread.

There is much I could say (ahem, ha!), yet today as my mind is centered in gratitude and joy post-back-surgery, I just want to thank you all for this ongoing discussion.

fini

yes, i can see that the slow spiral towards acceptance can "evolve", so to speak.
though i experienced my own as a sudden jolt, which doesn't mean that there wasn't a journey towards it. not sure.
relapse as a return to the substance is one way of seeing it, and of course that is a relapse in the practical sense. relapse as a return to the...hm.....me that couldn't not drink at times, to being the person who drank...is different though the two mostly go together but don't need to.
no, i don't actually think each relapse is different. at all.

nez

For me, each relapse was the same thing, only different. :~)

The surface reasons were different. The core reason was the same.

The surface results and bottoms were different. The core result and bottom was the same.

My mind over complicated the simplicity that was inherently present.

fini

“For me, each relapse was the same thing, only different. :~)

The surface reasons were different. The core reason was the same.”

perfect! yes; that is exactly the way i would have liked to have put it if i were the person who could put it that way