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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
stopping by
I'm alive and well passed 8 year mark in june but didnt bother posting. I dunno I just didnt feel like making a thing of it.
as some recall i lost m job last year and started a business. I'm still economically challenged if you will. some months we make it some months we dont. Obviouslly the stress of this has been pretty difficult to contend with. While i'm ok with not making as much money as i once did others are quick to point out to me that I should work more or go get a better paying job or i'm somehow less then because i dont make as much as they feel I should. This can be a tough pill to swallow since I already feel i'm doing the best that I can. As a result I've cut those folks out of my life as I'm putting enough pressure on myself.
WE had a pretty big health scare with one of my kids but luckily the tests came back negative and we dodged a big bullet. So as craptastic as my situation is at times I try to focus on being thankful its not worse. Again however some feel i could do more and I thik gosh i'm just grateful its not even worse lol.
i'm grateful someone here early on mentioned to me how easy it would be to relapse given my new found circumstances when i had lost my job. That was a good warning. over the last year and a half I learned just how easy it would be to toss in the towell. I guess you get that mindset of i'm screwed anyhow might as well drink and well when your situations pretty bad it for some reason seems like an ok idea. That warning was good tho I realized when i was in those predicaments it was nothing more then my AV trying to get me while i was down.
aside from all this its just keep moving forward for me. i just wake up each day get up to bat and take another swing its all i can do.
as some recall i lost m job last year and started a business. I'm still economically challenged if you will. some months we make it some months we dont. Obviouslly the stress of this has been pretty difficult to contend with. While i'm ok with not making as much money as i once did others are quick to point out to me that I should work more or go get a better paying job or i'm somehow less then because i dont make as much as they feel I should. This can be a tough pill to swallow since I already feel i'm doing the best that I can. As a result I've cut those folks out of my life as I'm putting enough pressure on myself.
WE had a pretty big health scare with one of my kids but luckily the tests came back negative and we dodged a big bullet. So as craptastic as my situation is at times I try to focus on being thankful its not worse. Again however some feel i could do more and I thik gosh i'm just grateful its not even worse lol.
i'm grateful someone here early on mentioned to me how easy it would be to relapse given my new found circumstances when i had lost my job. That was a good warning. over the last year and a half I learned just how easy it would be to toss in the towell. I guess you get that mindset of i'm screwed anyhow might as well drink and well when your situations pretty bad it for some reason seems like an ok idea. That warning was good tho I realized when i was in those predicaments it was nothing more then my AV trying to get me while i was down.
aside from all this its just keep moving forward for me. i just wake up each day get up to bat and take another swing its all i can do.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
Congrats on 8 years.
You’re doing great, nobody knows what the future holds.
Got to be thankful for what you have.
It definitely could be a lot worse.
Keep batting ‘ you got to swing to hit a 6/homer ‘
You’d be out for a duck if you were drinking. You wouldn’t hit a sausage!
You’re doing great, nobody knows what the future holds.
Got to be thankful for what you have.
It definitely could be a lot worse.
Keep batting ‘ you got to swing to hit a 6/homer ‘
You’d be out for a duck if you were drinking. You wouldn’t hit a sausage!
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
zjw, thanks for the update. I'm glad to here that you are hanging in there, come what may. Good idea to cut out the naysayers, too. Congratulations on continuing to live your sober life with integrity.
O
O
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Congratulations zjw! I’m glad you’re doing well and I agree: living with contentment is far more important than money, and I think it means you’ve grasped what’s truly important in life. What a relief that your kid is ok. Lord I know how terrifying it is when something might be wrong with our children.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
YeH I got my ups and downs but I just wanna be settled and content. So sometimes when I’m complaining about how I don’t have this or that I remind myself the issues I’d have because of whatever that may be and think I’m prolly better off lol.
I do hope my stress load lightens. The outlook is really unknown but I have to remind myself it kinda always is and having an adventure unfold can be enjoyable and being reliant on my higher power is probably the best place to be to be honest.
I do hope my stress load lightens. The outlook is really unknown but I have to remind myself it kinda always is and having an adventure unfold can be enjoyable and being reliant on my higher power is probably the best place to be to be honest.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
8 years is awesome zjw!
My AV is an opportunist too. The other week I was driving home from my vacation and mentally stewing about how much I hate my job right now and how badly I didn't want to start the whole nightmare back up... and I got myself so worked up that my thoughts ended with, "Well if my life is going to suck this bad I might as well just start drinking again and then just drink myself to death, because **** it all. Just burn it all down." I know, so melodramatic!! But that's what my AV does sometimes. Such an opportunist! Always willing to use our worst tragedies against us. Well screw that. IT never gets to win.
Just gotta stay centered and focused and try to let go and have faith that universe is doing this for you, not to you - or me.
My AV is an opportunist too. The other week I was driving home from my vacation and mentally stewing about how much I hate my job right now and how badly I didn't want to start the whole nightmare back up... and I got myself so worked up that my thoughts ended with, "Well if my life is going to suck this bad I might as well just start drinking again and then just drink myself to death, because **** it all. Just burn it all down." I know, so melodramatic!! But that's what my AV does sometimes. Such an opportunist! Always willing to use our worst tragedies against us. Well screw that. IT never gets to win.
Just gotta stay centered and focused and try to let go and have faith that universe is doing this for you, not to you - or me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Yep for me not to me !
YeH av is bad it is annoying to have that sharp division in me the drunk or the sober me no in between it’s very extreme I recall feeling as if that’s somehow unfair but it just is what it is anymore.
YeH av is bad it is annoying to have that sharp division in me the drunk or the sober me no in between it’s very extreme I recall feeling as if that’s somehow unfair but it just is what it is anymore.
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