Notices

six months sober and not feeling it!

Old 06-22-2019, 10:39 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: north wales
Posts: 32
six months sober and not feeling it!

Hi folks,looking for some prespective from your good selves.i quit on or should i say after new years eve and to date i have not had a drink.Apart from the god awful hangovers i cant really say i feel fantastic to be honest,myself and my good lady have started a new challenge this year and we both spend most of our time and focus on this so we are never short of something to do.i do have arthritis which does fatigue me somewhat but most days i still feel odd,vague if you will.i still have to just "get through" the days pretty much as i did when i was drinking/hungover but then i had a reason to feel crappy!.i try to eat well drink plenty of water take vits etc but nothing seems to lift the malaise i feel everyday.then the thought creeps into my head to say ,"if i feel crap anyway i may as well drink and have a few hours release from it"!i have 35 years drinking behind me just to give a little background.am i expecting to much to soon??any thoughts??many thanks in advance.
hothow is offline  
Old 06-22-2019, 10:59 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
I was not having fun at 6 months. It’s too soon to feel the peaceful release.

I am an alcoholic, though. So I had to do a complete 180 of my entire life, and it took about 18 months to be on the other side of the demon obsession and the brain healing.
Stayingsassy is offline  
Old 06-22-2019, 11:10 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Out in the Stix of Southern Indiana
Posts: 2,784
I have always looked for that instant results type of thing. That is an alcoholic trait. I drank and drugged all my life so it is going to take a long time to figure this life thing out. I am still learning. This is a much better situation than the one I was in when I was drinking. Play the tape forward and see if the results are what you are looking for. I think not. Not for me anyway.
tomls is offline  
Old 06-22-2019, 12:06 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
sober style
 
SnazzyDresser's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,374
Many non-drinkers like instant results as well. I'd say it's more of a human being trait than an alcoholic trait. We turn on the ac and expect to be cool. We eat healthy for a week and expect to lost weight. We take a class and decide we're experts in the field, etc.
SnazzyDresser is offline  
Old 06-22-2019, 02:18 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ghostlight1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I feel ya.
I, too, drank for thirty five years. The first time I quit for any extended period, I was on cloud nine. Felt great, looked great, whole new outlook on life. I was sober for eight months. Then I drank. And would for the next I forget how many years.

I quit for short periods over the next years, always going back to drink.
Finally I was able to stop drinking for, hopefully, years.
It's been ten years since my last drink of alcohol.
I didn't have that feeling of euphoria I did when I quit that first time.

I was just sober, which is enough, but I'm like, "where's the joy? where's the cloud nine?"
I think I used all the joy up in all my previous attempts. I was just flat at the beginning. Still.
Don't get me wrong, it sure beats being drunk or the alcoholic hangover.
Curious. I guess I expended all my euphoria.
Now I'm level headed and sober ten and a half years. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
But, yes, the pink cloud never came back.
Ghostlight1 is offline  
Old 06-22-2019, 03:18 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Ghostlight1 View Post
I feel ya.
I, too, drank for thirty five years. The first time I quit for any extended period, I was on cloud nine. Felt great, looked great, whole new outlook on life. I was sober for eight months. Then I drank. And would for the next I forget how many years.

I quit for short periods over the next years, always going back to drink.
Finally I was able to stop drinking for, hopefully, years.
It's been ten years since my last drink of alcohol.
I didn't have that feeling of euphoria I did when I quit that first time.

I was just sober, which is enough, but I'm like, "where's the joy? where's the cloud nine?"
I think I used all the joy up in all my previous attempts. I was just flat at the beginning. Still.
Don't get me wrong, it sure beats being drunk or the alcoholic hangover.
Curious. I guess I expended all my euphoria.
Now I'm level headed and sober ten and a half years. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
But, yes, the pink cloud never came back.
I do have a cloud, it’s just on the grey side! 😂

I didn’t quit drinking to “feel better,” I quit drinking because I was a dangerous drinker.
Stayingsassy is offline  
Old 06-22-2019, 11:38 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Dropsie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
I agree with Sassy that it takes time, but you sound a little depressed to me, I wonder if you should get that checked out.

I was terribly depressed, not related to drinking, and really needed some help.
Dropsie is offline  
Old 06-23-2019, 06:33 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
High on Life
 
TheEnd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Six months is still early sobriety. Remember you drank fro 35 yrs and you were expecting to feel happy and carefree after 6 months? That's a lot to expect after your long history of use. Also, it sounds possibly you could be going through PAWS, so do a quick GOOGLE search and see if any of those symptoms sounds like they fit your current situation. You didn't mention what you are doing to stay sober? Maybe you could try working a program for awhile if you're not already. Good Luck!
TheEnd is offline  
Old 06-24-2019, 11:08 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hawkeye13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,371
Takes time to heal--ups and downs are pretty normal so early in.

Keep going and it will get better!
Hawkeye13 is offline  
Old 06-24-2019, 12:27 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Pastafarian
 
Need2Know's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 122
Think about the money you are saving. Unless you are independently wealthy, that is an instant benefit. Having more money, like other benefits, like not having a hangover for example, they soon become the new normal. And you want more. Its just natural human nature to always expect more and expect improvement. Otherwise we would not compete to survive and reproduce.
Need2Know is offline  
Old 06-24-2019, 12:51 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 140
First, congratulations on six months. That's fantastic. You're fantastic.

One of the (small) mistakes I made when I quit drinking was thinking that by quitting it would solve all of my problems: depression, anxiety, etc..

Well, I figured out that I probably drank because of those reasons, rather than the alcohol being the complete catalyst. I'm sure alcohol also exacerbated my issues.

I think putting down the alcohol was the easy part for me, but it's learning how to make the decision not to pick it back up that is the difficult part. At a year and a half of sobriety I found myself slipping. I ultimately didn't drink or anything like that, but I really thought about it. I really considered it. It was like I had to relearn to cope to day to day life without a mind altering substance again, even though I had been without it for quite a bit. It was discouraging.

It was easier to say no at that point, though. It was easier to see what a mistake it would be even risk falling back into the cycle of drinking and madness I once I existed within. It still sucked, though.

I know it's subjective, but I don't think life gets easier without alcohol, so much as we hopefully find ourselves with more fortitude to deal with the tough times. I definitely have a more thorough appreciation of the good times, too. Sobriety has definitely turned me into a more bold individual, but at least I can feel I have a sincerity with my actions.
RaiseAnchor is offline  
Old 06-24-2019, 03:46 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
NYCDoglvr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Getting sober doesn't mean you'll be happy, content, at peace. My first year was pretty miserable but the steps, service and meeting eventually led to real peace of mind. Alcoholism is a mental illness and drinking is but a symptom of a bigger problem. Have you tried therapy?
NYCDoglvr is offline  
Old 06-24-2019, 05:08 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Dealing with a chronic pain condition like arthritis can be wearying - even when it doesn't fit what you see as depression, you could still be depressed.

have you talked to your doctor about it?
Dee74 is offline  
Old 06-24-2019, 05:39 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by RaiseAnchor View Post
First, congratulations on six months. That's fantastic. You're fantastic.

One of the (small) mistakes I made when I quit drinking was thinking that by quitting it would solve all of my problems: depression, anxiety, etc..

Well, I figured out that I probably drank because of those reasons, rather than the alcohol being the complete catalyst. I'm sure alcohol also exacerbated my issues.

I think putting down the alcohol was the easy part for me, but it's learning how to make the decision not to pick it back up that is the difficult part. At a year and a half of sobriety I found myself slipping. I ultimately didn't drink or anything like that, but I really thought about it. I really considered it. It was like I had to relearn to cope to day to day life without a mind altering substance again, even though I had been without it for quite a bit. It was discouraging.

It was easier to say no at that point, though. It was easier to see what a mistake it would be even risk falling back into the cycle of drinking and madness I once I existed within. It still sucked, though.

I know it's subjective, but I don't think life gets easier without alcohol, so much as we hopefully find ourselves with more fortitude to deal with the tough times. I definitely have a more thorough appreciation of the good times, too. Sobriety has definitely turned me into a more bold individual, but at least I can feel I have a sincerity with my actions.
This is 100% my experience of quitting alcohol.

Thanks for putting it so well, this is written very clearly and succinctly and I’m sure if I wrote this it would be full of epithets and unnecessary circular details!

Every paragraph of this was true for me.
Stayingsassy is offline  
Old 06-26-2019, 02:04 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: north wales
Posts: 32
thanks for all the great replies folks.some good points!.
hothow is offline  
Old 06-27-2019, 07:04 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
 
Gottalife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
At six months I was still struggling with things like mental accuity and personal discipline, but a lot of good stuff had happened too. I had begun developing a relationship with my creator, had made my inventories, made my confession, made most of my amends and generally cleaned up most of the mess I made.

I had something of a change in personality and was gripped by a new purpose in life. Not every day was a happy one, it never will be, but most days felt worthwhile, I was back in the mainstream of life and making progress.

What I "got out of" life appeared to be closely related to what I put in.
Gottalife is offline  
Old 06-27-2019, 03:19 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Hampshire UK
Posts: 162
This is a great thread and should reminds us all of the long-term nature of our journey to the other side of alcohol. I haven't been on here for a couple of years and was very much embarrassed to read my previous posts. Why? Because nothing much has changed. I have had some temporary successes, but am still picking up a drink every evening and hating myself every morning. So - anyone who has done a few weeks or months deserves a thumbs up as far as I am concerned. I am 50/50 about whether or not I will ever truly escape but try to be as positive as I can. And there are some truly inspirational posts on this site - I am grateful for those as they provide real hope
DeepBlue is offline  
Old 06-27-2019, 05:36 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
If you want to change those 50/50 odds- work for the side you want to win DeepBlue.

Let your desire to be sober be reflected in your actions

You'll get back every bit of effort you put in, and more besides

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 06-28-2019, 06:41 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by DeepBlue View Post
This is a great thread and should reminds us all of the long-term nature of our journey to the other side of alcohol. I haven't been on here for a couple of years and was very much embarrassed to read my previous posts. Why? Because nothing much has changed. I have had some temporary successes, but am still picking up a drink every evening and hating myself every morning. So - anyone who has done a few weeks or months deserves a thumbs up as far as I am concerned. I am 50/50 about whether or not I will ever truly escape but try to be as positive as I can. And there are some truly inspirational posts on this site - I am grateful for those as they provide real hope
Many others have felt like you or even worse. Why not try and be sober since you know what it's like drinking. I doubt it can be worse than the self-loathing of the next morning.
needshelp111 is offline  
Old 06-28-2019, 11:34 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
EndGame
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
The tortoise won the race.

Originally Posted by hothow View Post
am i expecting to much to soon??any thoughts??many thanks in advance.
Take a breath.

Getting and staying sober is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

I learned that none of us get to decide in advance what we will and will not feel or who we are becoming (and whom are no longer) after not drinking or being sober for six months. Especially on top of the thirty-five year plan.

I believe that we cannot know what we'll feel or who we are becoming until we get there. And then it's gone before we have a chance to think about it. It's not a race, so rushing towards an elusive finish line will not result in cash and prizes.

I also learned that it's okay for me to despair once in a while, but that I shouldn't linger. Too dangerous with too many unwanted consequences.

There are so many times in sobriety to make a courageous choice and then do what is right for. The experience is difficult to describe. Like telling someone who never ate chocolate what chocolate tastes like. It's sometimes exhilarating and at other times a sense of feeling at peace with myself and with the world. well-being.

I was sober for twenty-five years, drank for three years, and am currently sober for almost eight years. I don't know personally anyone who regrets having stayed sober.
EndGameNYC is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:45 AM.